Mental illness is not a motivation problem. It is like any disease- malaria, fever, cold, thyroid, broken knee,etc. If you take medication when you have fever, why not take medication when you have a mental illness?
I would say to myself I don’t want medication. Even if I am worse, I will fix my depression with counselling only. And then I spend 2 years dabbling from one counsellor to the other. And most would give up on me.
My reasons were-
- Medication causes side effects
- It causes suicidal thoughts if it is stopped
- It can cause drug abuse
But I was not getting any better. I was still stuck in my suffering.
At last after 2 years of failing to solve my problems on my own, I decided to give medication a try. I was given an antidepressant. And I felt a little better. But soon I decided that it does not work. So I stopped it. It was a mistake.
I became more depressed and started meditating 12 hours a day to “find” myself. And it resulted in me attemptiing suicide.
Then I was taken to Bangalore to a renowned hospital. I was given medication. And although it made me feel better, my doctors concluded that I never had a problem in the first place.
Fast forward 2 months, I was having a psychotic attack. I could not sleep for days and I was really not OK. I was taken to a local hospital at a renowned national hospital and they gave me antipsychotic medication and a lot of other antidepressants.
Honestly I don’t know what led me to the solution but I know what I did. Before chanting the mantra, there was no sign of me having bipolar or psychosis but I guess chanting the mantra really helped me uncover my true issues.
I would never tell anyone to avoid medication because I use medication. But without chanting and focusing on my goals, medication would not have helped me. It’s a two-way street. Medication and mindset both are required for recovery.
It’s not about whether I can recover without medication but it’s about what I want in life. I need to think in a big picture manner. What do I want in life? And how do I overcome my depression fast so that I can accomplish my purpose in life?
If medication will help you, go for it.
Please leave a comment about what you want in life and will medication help you.