How I Deal With My Negative Self-Talk

Do you feel frustrated with your negative self-talk? Then read this blog post to know how I deal with it.

I used to frequently demean myself for doing stupid things. And although it’s considered normal and almost everybody does it, I think it’s important to reduce these self-demeaning thoughts.

It’s OK to sometimes think that you are weird or stupid. But sometimes these thoughts feel overwhelming and too much to handle.

In those situations, we need to calm our minds and relax a bit. And seek to become more self-aware.

A few weeks ago, I was reading a book called “How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety” by Ellen Hendriksen (Affiliate link: I get a commission if you purchase the book through this link) and I read a part where the author makes the readers ask three easy questions.

These three questions from the book helped me deal with negative self-talk and reduce my anxiety-

  1. What’s the worst that can happen?
  2. What are the odds of that happening?
  3. How would you cope?

And I noticed that whenever I get anxious or do any negative self-talk, I ask myself these questions and I can become aware of why I felt negative or got a strong urge to call myself “stupid” or “loser”.

When I do this, I can reduce my negative feelings to something manageable.

For example, if I feel like a loser because I lied to someone about something unimportant because it would be very embarrassing to accept that I had lied. So I say to myself in negative self-talk,” You are just a loser”. 

If I immediately counter that by saying,” No, I am not a loser, I am a winner.”, I continue feeling bad for some reason. 

But if I ask myself the above three questions one by one, this is what happens-

Me – “What’s the worst that could happen in this situation?”

My answer- “Oh well, the person would call me a ‘liar’ out loudly and kick me out of the institute forever and people would know I am a ‘liar’.”

Me- “What are the odds of that happening?”

My answer- “Well, the person may ask why I lied. And I would say I was nervous. And he would probably trust me less.”

Me- “How would I cope?”

My answer- “I would probably listen to some sad songs and write a sad poem to myself and read spiritual stories and forgive myself through writing in my journal. It’s just one time I lied a silly lie, to one person. No big deal. I won’t repeat it and now past is past.”

This process makes me feel so much better. And I don’t feel like I am fighting an uphill battle against my mind.

This process also reduces my anxiety a lot and I feel like I can reduce these big and scary thoughts to something more manageable with just the second question,” What are the odds of that happening?”

And I also noticed that I can overcome more of my social anxiety with these questions in real life. I went to 3 big social events this month and I think those are big wins for me. I believe that’s because of the above book.

For all this, I want to thank Ellen Hendriksen, the author of the above-mentioned book “How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety”

I haven’t finished listening to the whole audiobook on but I will do it soon. 

You can also use these questions to deal with your inner critic and negative self-talk and reduce your anxiety one question at a time.

Although I didn’t overcome my anxieties this month overnight. It took time. 

Also, the book’s original questions are phrased like this-

  1. How bad would that really be?
  2. What are the odds?
  3. How could I cope?

Also in the book originally the questions are only one part of the whole process. So don’t completely depend on me or think that this is the complete process. Please get the book and read it.

Thank you for reading this blog post. Do read the book and please comment on what you think about this blog post.

Disclaimer- I am not a psychologist or a doctor. If you have a mental illness, please seek the help of a professional. The advice in this blog post is just from my personal experience. For the full scientific process, read the mentioned book.

How to deal with anxiety?

In this blog post, I will share some 8 tips on how to deal with anxiety. 

As you might be knowing, I have anxiety and I have learnt to reduce it and live my life with it.

I had social anxiety since I was a teenager and it was both a boon and a bane. I learnt a lot from facing my anxiety.

Other than the advice that my psychiatrist and psychologist gave me, there are my own insights.

I will write a blog post on my psychogists’ advice another day but today I want to share how to deal with anxiety.

Here they are-

  1. Do what you are passionate about

When we do what we are passionate about we become more relaxed and happier. This leads to confidence and peace of mind and calm. It helps us deal with anxiety better.

Living with purpose helps us become more confident and gives us the motivation to overcome anxiety. 

  1.  Take extra responsibility and initiative

This is what increases our mental strength and makes us more resilient. If we take more responsibility we will be more active and busy. We’ll also get the confidence to face our anxiety and fears. 

  1. Dance like nobody’s watching(live a moral life and not care what people think of us)

If we want to live a full life, we have to not care about what people think about us. We need to dance like nobody’s watching. 

But in reality, people do watch when we dance in public. And so we need to become good human beings. We need to be selfless and caring, in a non-people-pleasing way.

  1. Sitting down and calmly observing your feelings

I do this almost every time I get anxious. I don’t rush things. I take 5mins of silence and just observe my feelings. This gives me space and the clarity of mind to make a good decision.

  1. Listen to inspiring songs

This is a surefire way to convert anxiety into inspiration. It almost always works. I like to listen to Shakira and Sia and some EDM songs.

  1. Tell yourself “LIFE IS HARD” 

You won’t believe me but it works like a charm. This is one of my truths and most people’s truths. 

“Life is hard and not facing anxiety is not helping you. You will be stuck and fall behind and waste valuable time if you don’t face your anxiety. No one cares to expect your family whether you have anxiety or not. Other people only see that you are a success or a failure. So get up and fight.”

I say something similar to myself.

  1. You don’t have to give a 100% effort

You just need to get up and fight. Winning or losing isn’t in your hands but trying is. So try. You just have to get started.

  1. If you can’t overcome anxiety for some reason, then don’t blame yourself, accept yourself

Acceptance is powerful. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Not everyone is built the same way. You feel anxious to do public speaking but maybe you can edit videos pretty well. Work on your strengths and deal with your weaknesses. And forgive yourself for not being perfect.

Thank you for reading this blog post. Please comment- 

Which tip will you use this week for dealing with anxiety?

Disclaimer: This is not medical advice. I am not a psychologist or a psychiatrist. If you want medical advice, please contact a psychologist or a psychiatrist.

5 Myths Of Journaling From Experience

I think for a person who is depressed and hopeless, a way to get hope is to self-reflect using journaling.

 Journaling is important.

I think most people are intimidated by the word “journaling”. 

I think there’s no reason to be afraid of this word. 

I will share some of the myths I had about journaling and the reasoning I used to overcame them.

Myth no.1
You have to journal daily

This is absolutely not true. You can journal once a week, once a month or whenever you want.

 The point of journaling is to express your thoughts and read them back to get context. 

It’s best if you journal regularly but it’s not a requirement.

I journal a few times a week and not regularly. 

Myth no. 2
You have to journal for years to see results

This is not true. You can journal one day and still get something valuable out of the process. 

The key is to be yourself and consider your journal as yours and share fully with it. 

I remember watching youtube videos where it’s said that it takes around 8 years to “get results” with journaling.

I am sure it takes less than 8 years to “get results” and I am pretty sure you can get something valuable on the same day of writing.

You see when you write in a journal, you are observing your thought patterns, the stories you tell yourself, you release your stress, you become honest with yourself, you share your true intentions, etc.

This is valuable for your mental health.

Plus, when I write a journal entry, I write my worries and ask what should I do? And I come up with answers on my own.

This acts as a way to make decisions more effectively. 

It’s like facing the evil inside. When you write in a journal, you face the evil inside you, your own limitations, your own face in the mirror, etc.

This is very useful for “getting results”.

Myth no. 3
You don’t know how to journal properly

The truth is that you don’t need to know how to journal. That’s the beauty of journaling.

You don’t need to know the right questions to ask yourself or buy a Stoicism journal with stoic questions with blank spaces for writing your answers.

You need to let yourself write anything you want in the journal. 

It’s your journal and you can write anything.

 The beauty is it can be a physical journal, it can be a digital journal, a colourful one, a scrapebook, a plain white paper or anything you want. 

The beauty is that you can write anything you want, anyhow you want it.

Myth no. 4
You have to read your past journal entries to get results

I think I heard from a video of Tony Robbins that you should be reading your journal entries or if not, you should not be writing a journal at all to get results.

I think it is false from my experience. I think results are not just about changing behaviour but also about feeling the feelings that are not expressed normally. 

And in my opinion, reading your journal in the future won’t help you feel life’s pains or pleasures at the moment. 

It is good if you can read your entries two months later, you might get insights about yourself, but it is not necessarily the only way for change to take place.

After all, feelings are an important part of your mental health and writing at the moment in the journal is a key part of feeling your life’s problems or states of happiness.

Myth no. 5
You don’t need a journal of your choice 

I would say this is partially false. You do need to love the process of journaling.

And one way to love it is to invest in a good journal or a keyboard or a pen or a quiet place to sit in. 

You need to love the process of sitting down and expressing your thoughts on paper to journal consistently.

I remember I was in a forum for personal development, and someone had written that if investing in a good journal of your choice, a nice pen, a nice laptop, or whatever that makes you love journaling, then you need to do it.

I use Rustic Town’s leather journal. And I love it. I feel like a writer.


So in spite of all these myths, one can and should journal. If one of these myths had been stopping you in the past and you haven’t tried journaling before, please consider journaling because it’s really powerful.

Thank you for reading this blog post. I am excited to share more ideas and stories in this personal blog about hope. 

So I will end this blog post with a quick question for you- Do you journal sometimes? What do you like about journaling?

Journaling : How I Do It

I love to journal or write my thoughts in a diary. It is extremely therapeutic and calming. In this blog post I will share my experience with journaling.

I journal in the morning and evening and sometimes when I feel strong emotions. I know it sounds girly but trust me it’s not. Anyone who can write can do journaling.

The problem I think most people have is they don’t understand why journaling is necessary. It is extremely necessary. 

There are many benefits but I will share my personal experiences only because you can google the general benefits anyway.

For me as a person struggling with mental health issues, I journal a lot. I journal digitally, in a physical journal, on my phone, on the computer,etc. And that helps me keep myself focused and sane.

I am not saying that without journaling you are insane. I am just saying I journal because I love it and also because it is a necessity for me. 

There are many ways to journal- using prompts, using self-talk, using recollection of the day’s events, etc. And this makes the process fun. You can do it however you want to do it.

You can draw sketches in a journal. Or just write. Or do both.

Journaling is also a form of introspection. And introspection, I believe, is the most important skill a human being can learn. Journaling helps you do that.

I also think re-reading one’s  journals can help one grow more. It is the act of observation of the past accurately that creates wisdom. 

I re-read my journals sometimes. Although I started re-reading only a few months ago I am shocked by the insights I get from re-reading my journals.

But when you start writing in a journal the main focus should be to just write. It does not matter if you re-read it. You can think about that later. In the beginning just write as Iearnt this idea from Ryan Holiday from the Daily Stoic youtube channel.

The point of journaling is to introspect. To examine yourself. This is my opinion.

Thank you for reading my post. Please share this with your friends and family members and see you next time.