Social Anxiety To Master Leader And Salesman

As I write about the solution, I would like to tell you that I tried to overcome my social anxiety for the last two days with great difficulty and I succeeded to go to my grandmaa’s house and also ask my father if I could accompany him at his office. But I failed to continue the streak of success. I will try again

Anirban Saren

The reason I am writing this blog post is to show a way in which life works to disguise your greatest gifts as your greatest weakness.

By the way I have not become a master leader and salesman but I want to. This is what I want and I am willing to do many difficult things for achieving it.

Why do I want it? Because I want to help people be free of suffering.

As you know I said before that I have social anxiety disorder. Then why this deep desire to be a leader and a salesman, things that are totally opposite of a person suffering from social anxiety?

Well to be honest I don’t know. You can ask many of my friends and they will tell you that I am not a people person. But my close friends will tell you an entirely different story. They will tell you that I love people. When among them I become an irresistibly social person.

So I don’t know why this is the case. But I think there is a shadow aspect of my personality that has been hidden due to my circumstances of life. Regardless of the reason let’s talk about the solution.

As I write about the solution, I would like to tell you that I tried to overcome my social anxiety for the last two days with great difficulty and I succeeded to go to my grandmaa’s house and also ask my father if I could accompany him at his office. But I failed to continue the streak of success. I will try again.

So back to what we are talking about here. What is the solution?

I used to think I can just use brute force to push through the fear. But it’s not easy.

I even read books on releasing emotions, self-esteem and stoic philosophy but life just doesn’t work like that.

But I have to tell you a solution that I will execute on, if not for me, for you.

My solution is to follow my passion. I will improve my self-expression skills through attending events, writing everyday for a set period of time, commit to self-expression,etc.

Yes that’s my solution because my passion is a stronger motivation than social anxiety.

So basically my deepest desire is to be a leader and salesman who helps people overcome suffering and I have no clue how to do it because I feel abnormal levels of fear before most social interactions. This is going to be one hell of a ride.

This could be my greatest gift. This could also be my greatest regret if I don’t try. Either way I will succeed or perish trying.

So thank you for reading this blog post. I could not post in the past two days because I was busy applying some of my own ideas to overcome social anxiety. See you tomorrow.

About “Perfect” Social Media Photos

The reason I am writing this is to show you a unique perspective on comparing yourself with other people.

Social media is full of the perfect moments in the lives of us but sometimes when you are down in the drain these perfect moments seldom empower you.

Instead they make you feel like a failure.

Comparing myself with my friends and college mates who have girlfriends/boyfriends, perfect slim bodies, and happiness makes me feel like I am missing out on life.

And if you feel like same way when you scroll your social media feed, you are not alone.

But we know how it goes. They probably feel as empty inside as me or maybe more. But the truth is my social life is not what I want it to be.

And I am not blaming anyone.

Ok ok I am blaming my past. But I am learning to see past these superficial comparisons.

So what is the solution?

I noticed that as soon as I focus on what I love, that is self-expression, I feel good about myself. I am even planning to go all in.

As soon as I write I feel like I am doing something unique to me. I am sharing my unique life story and gifts to the world.

I don’t know what the phd psychologist will recommend as a solution but this one solution, doing your passion works for me.

I follow a guy whose name is Grant Cardone, New York Times best-selling author and the founder of the 10X Rule and I love his ideas. One of his ideas is to swim in the kool-aid than just drinking it. It means to immerse yourself in an activity or learn about something so much that you forget everything else and fully commit to it in order to be a master in it.

In Grant’s own life he is busy all the time and tells his viewer that if you want to meet the devil, have blank space in your calendar. It is a good example for comparing the negative thoughts and comparisons to the devil in your head.

So I hope you liked this little post and see you every Monday. I say Monday but I am posting a new blog post everyday and it gets old when I say “see you every Monday”. So see you tomorrow!

I love people

But only when I am totally selfless. And since I am not a saint, who is selfless all the time, I sometimes don’t love people.

The reason for today’s blog post is to give you my point of view on better relationships with your loved ones and people in general.

When I was 16 years old all I wanted was pleasure. When a video of a successful entrepreneur popped up and it said I could be a millionaire, I wanted to know how.

It turned out his vehicle was to learn sales skills and work hard. But his approach was very inspiring to me. So I read all his books and watched all his courses.

I learnt a great deal about sales but this is what got me to understand the importance of people and relationships with people.

I learnt how important it is to have friends who you could count on in business and in life.

I understand that at this point it seems silly of me to find such a basic thing after spending thousands of dollars on courses and books.

As Dale Carnegie wrote in “How to win friends and influence people” – don’t criticise, praise heartily,etc. These things are true in life.

But I also realise that it is very difficult to practice in real life.

Please let me tell you a story. I did not spend much time with my father during childhood because he was away for work. Being brought up by my mother I never had a father figure at home on a regular basis.

I learnt to be a boy from my friends but I learnt to be a man from TV,movies,pop culture,etc. And I hope you know TV is not a good source of information of how to be a good man.

So I got an unrealistic standard for a good man in my head. I started resenting my father who stayed with us from when I was 7. He was not the perfect human being and so I resented him.

This resentment may not be in your life but what I want to convey to you is our selfishness and neurotic lens through which we see life can make the job of having good relationships in life very hard.

Whether it is a business relationship or a private one, we tend to project our mental garbage on other people who reminds us of the aspects of us that we don’t love about ourselves.

This leads to us unconsciously sabotaging our relationships with people. Do you remember the last time you met someone whom you “just can’t stand”? That’s what I am talking about.

So what is the solution? I found out that journaling helps a lot for me. Feeling the emotion rather than suppressing it is the key. Understanding why you feel certain emotions like anxiety or anger or rage helps you understand the cause of your life’s recurring patterns.

And then slowly redesigning your life by changing your values to a more honest life.

All these things I learned from many books and videos but a few big ones are “The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck”, reading my journal entries, Actualized.org,etc.

So what are my results?

I feel angry instead of suppressing it. I feel my emotions and know exactly why I feel them and I am starting to forgive my father.

I am learning to see past all the flaws of the other person and actually see the other person clearly.

I guess this is somehow selfless and can be used to love people.

The steps-

1. Understanding and uncovering why you feel that way(journaling)

2. Dealing with it through forgiveness or change

In the next blog post you will get a new point of view. This is not about me, this is about using my past experiences to create a meaningful future for you and me.

So I hope you will stick with me for the next blog post and read it next week on Monday.