The author writes about his return journey from Kolkata to Bangalore after he went to Kolkata a week ago.
Me, my mother and father arrived in Bangalore yesterday, and the weather is fine here. Much cooler than Kolkata’s weather. The journey is… read more.
I’ve started a new self-hosted blog at anirbansaren.com. The full article is available on anirbansaren.com. Please visit that blog.
To access my old blog posts, please visit- this website.
The author writes about his arrival at Howrah, his hometown, and how he plans to stay there for a few days before returning to Bangalore.
Yesterday I came home to Howrah from Bangalore after a long time via flight.
And I feel bliss after eating the homemade food that my mother and father cook at home.
I think it’s important to visit home and balance work and family.
I don’t have the work part figured out just yet but I’m on my way to secure job interviews.
But I’ve figured out my family part.
My parents and my siblings are there. And they mean a lot to me.
There isn’t much story here. But I was a bit anxious throughout the journey and I was observing the people around me.
I had my fruit juice(Maiza) bottle with me which I was occasionally sipping throughout my journey.
I’ll be staying in Howrah for the next 7 days. And I have plans other than voting.
I didn’t just come here to vote. But I came to accomplish some important tasks which I’ll write about in the future(So stay tuned).
To see my parents’ faces when I came home gave me immense joy.
And I drank a glass of lassi after I entered home.
And I have to tell you I had the best sleep last night in a long time.
So yeah I came home and I’ll return soon after a few days.
Thanks for reading this line! It means a lot.
The author writes about how healing is not a straight line but a set of ups and downs in the journey of healing.
Healing is not linear. It doesn’t represent a straight line in a graph.
But it does look like ups and downs.
When I was admitted to NIMHANS in 2025, I experienced this.
Every few weeks I met new people and I had to go through different sets of ups and downs.
I met people who are hyper-active and also people who were depressed.
I met people who were delusional and people who had OCD, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and all sorts of other mental health disorders.
Of course they weren’t to be blamed for these, it’s their psychiatric disorders that require healing.
I went to yoga classes in NIMHANS and I learnt yoga and it had an important role in my healing.
It gave me a structure to my days and I enjoyed it as well.
But even with yoga, I sometimes stopped going and sometimes I prioritized it.
It had its set of ups and downs.
Mostly when we think that when we are in the down phase of healing, we are moving backwards in our journey of healing. But that’s not true.
Even when we’re feeling down, it’s a part of the growth process and the journey of healing.
So yeah the journey of healing has lots of ups and downs and my stay at NIMHANS last year accelerated it.
And when we look back after many months and years we see that we have grown so much.
Thanks for reading this line! It means a lot.
The author writes about how therapy has helped him discover his perfectionism.
I have been taking therapy sessions since 2014, and they have helped me a lot.
I have learned a lot about myself.
Not only that, but I have learnt many things about myself, but there’s this one thing that I was struggling to deal with. That’s perfectionism.
That was a major reason behind my anxiety problems, at least most of it.
It has cost me a lot of time and money. And when I discovered perfectionism as what I was experiencing, I was both shocked and relieved.
What I realized was that the problem was deep. It was deeply entangled with my beliefs.
And although it won’t be an overnight recovery, it’ll take time to overcome my mental health issues.
Thank you for reading this line. It means a lot!
The hardest decision that I ever made was to trust my parents when they forced me to take the class 12th board exams despite my mental illness.
I had been mentally ill in 2017. And I was admitted to NIMHANS(National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences), Bangalore for 2-3 months and came back to Howrah.
And I was so depressed that I couldn’t get out of bed or take a bath properly.
Plus I was diagnosed with bipolar affective disorder(BPAD).
And I think it was one of those days when my parents were really worried about me.
So they forced me to take the practicals and board exams of class 12.
I remember when our car reached the school I was feeling very scared. I thought that I couldn’t take the practicals. And yet my parents forced me to go to school and take them.
I performed pretty badly but passed. And I remember I couldn’t answer some of the viva questions.
And in the board exams I performed okay.
I passed my class 12th board exams in 2018 without dropping any year.
And for this I am grateful to my parents.
If they hadn’t forced me to take the exams I wouldn’t be here completing my MBA graduation.
If they hadn’t been there for me, I might have dropped out of school. But it was because of them that I was able to take the exams and pass out of school.
So this was my hardest decision I’d even had to make. To trust someone else more than how much I trusted myself.
Thank you for reading this line. It means a lot.
So my psychologist-psychiatrist doctor’s team met me yesterday and explained to me why sensitivity may not be as good.
I guess I’m working on it in my psych ward.
I asked the main doctor that if I can control my sensitivity will the solution to my problems be different from the initial anger outbursts?
He said said a big YES!
Thanks a lot for reading this line.
If you are scrolling on Instagram (or any other social media platform) and thinking that your life sucks, you should remember that you’re not a kid anymore.
Your life doesn’t suck. You should be grateful for your life.
I wouldn’t say “Stop using Instagram” because it is useful in some ways.
For example, instagram can be entertaining and informative.
Instagram can keep you up-to-date with trends.
Instagram can keep you busy and stop boredom and negative thoughts temporarily.
But using Instagram or social media in general is a less efficient use of your time.
If you manage your time effectively, you can stay away from your phone and other devices and work peacefully.
And by work I mean activity that makes you productive or gives you joy and pleasure.
Also after I use instagram for long periods of time, I feel exhausted and irritated.
I’m not saying that using Instagram makes you a kid.
I’m saying comparing yourself to others on Instagram is a mistake that usually grown ups don’t make.
I’m glad you read this line. Thanks a lot!
Disclaimer: I’m not a psychologist or a psychiatrist or a medical professional. These are my personal opinions and readers should first consult a doctor before following these opinions.
He wanted to have hope
He wanted to live a good life
He wanted to love
He wanted to smile
He wanted to be happy
He wanted to live for what he believed in
But they didn’t care about his hope
They wanted to box him within narrow domestic walls
They didn’t care about his good life
They didn’t care about his love
They didn’t care about his lover
They didn’t care about his life
They didn’t give him a chance to have hope
I say we avenge all these fallen hope warriors
I say we say no to family rules, caste, religion, societal pressure
I say we say no to ego
I say we say no to hatred
I say we say no to jealous
I say we say no to anger
I say we say no to control
I say we say no to manipulation
Because maybe one day he will be reborn in another life
And he will still have hope
And maybe we will care about his hope
And maybe we will care about his life
And maybe he will be able to live for what he believed in.
I know I need to change.
Because I was wrong all this time.
When I was a teenager I ignored friends who genuinely cared for me and chased people who were too arrogant to be my friend.
In school and college I focused on the wrong sets of values – marks, college name, too much all round development activities instead of knowledge, focus and hardwork.
Truth be told I was arrogant and a lot more selfish than I am today.
But it was also not entirely my fault because it is a mental illness.
Now I feel like I made these mistakes in life unknowingly and I am feeling regret.
But if I think that way, I would be wrong.
Because people don’t regret things they did, but things they didn’t.
I actually did stuff. I failed multiple times in life. I lost friends. I messed up big time.
But that gave me wisdom.
I know the value of simplicity, humility and a realistic perspective because I had none of these values until a few years ago.
So yes, making mistakes in life is worth it 100%.
I’m glad you read this line. Thanks a lot!
