Category: Mental Health

Desires: Do What You Genuinely Want

The author writes how parents, society, and Instagram had imposed their desires on him, but he followed what he genuinely wanted in life.

I have desires-

  • I should read books on politics. 
  • I should go to the gym.
  • I should learn Taekwondo.
  • I should read novels.
  • I should cook every meal myself.
  • I should do stock trading.
  • I should start a business.
  • I should run every day.
  • I should write poems.
  • I should write songs.
  • I should become a DJ.
  • I should become a singer.
  • I should learn singing…

MY Desires

These are some of the desires that are amplified when I use Instagram.

I’m not saying these are wrong.

I’m just saying that these aren’t MY desires.

These are other people’s desires.

And if I do what other people want, I’ll stay unhappy all my life.

The problem is that it’s not something that is imposed on me by other people. 

I seem to compare myself with these people on Instagram who are doing these things. 

And my mind, like most people, also wants those things.

But it’s important to do what I genuinely want.

Not follow others.

I need to be aware when I am thinking some desire is mine, while it’s not.

On one hand, it’s not okay to follow desires that are not my own.

On the other hand, it can be okay sometimes to have desires that are good for me- like going to the gym. 

So yeah, in life we tend to follow others, but what we should strive to do is be our own leaders and not follow others.

Story Time

When I was in class 11, I was studying physics, chemistry, maths… But I wanted something else in life.

I wanted to start a business. I wanted to be creative. 

So in 2019 I decided to study philosophy. And then business administration. 

And now I have a Master of Business Administration(MBA) degree. 

If I had stuck to science subjects, which my parents and society wanted me to study, I wouldn’t feel happy.

I would feel stuck and depressed.

So yeah, do what you genuinely want, not what others expect of you.

Thank you for reading this line! It means a lot.

I Don’t Have A Choice: Throwing The Garbage

The author writes how he doesn’t have a choice but to throw the garbage despite it being uncomfortable.

Throwing the garbage is a perpetual struggle for me. (Although I have no choice)

First I have to wake up early in the morning. Then I have to put the garbage in the garbage bags.

Then I have to throw them away.

I know it sounds simple but in reality it’s not.

First there’s the smell, then there’s the piling up of garbage bags.

Then there’s convincing myself to do the whole thing.

But I have no choice. I have to throw the garbage.

There’s no choice. 

So now I’ll go pack up the garbage in the garbage bags after writing this blog post.

And I’ll throw them away.

The struggle is really real.

Thank you for reading this line! It means a lot.

The Struggle: Feeling Sleepy And Still Writing

The author writes about how in spite of feeling sleepy, he is struggling to writing a blog post early morning.

I’m writing this as I feel sleepy. I woke up minutes ago and I started writing.

It is 06:55AM and I still feel sleepy. 

But I slept on time yesterday.

And as I remember about yesterday and think deeply about topics, I start becoming more awake.

But I feel sleepy.

I don’t drink much coffee because someone told me once that coffee worsens anxiety.

But I really want to write a blog post today. Even if it means writing badly.

Or writing something that is based on sleep and coffee.

I just know one thing — I need to write.

I’m a writer. And I will write. That’s my job.

I know I’m struggling to stay awake. But that’s the nature of life— struggle.

Struggle is the way.

If you don’t have struggles, you’re missing out on progress.

And just now I closed my eyes and I was about to fall asleep in my chair.

But I forced myself to stay awake.

The struggle is real.

Right now I’m thinking about making a hot drink for myself. Not coffee but Boost(without sugar).

I’ll be right back.

I just made two cups of Boost(hot drink) for myself and my elder sister.

And after doing this activity itself I feel less sleepy.

Now the time is 07:28AM and I don’t even know if what I’m writing makes any sense.

Thank you for reading this line! It means a lot.

How My Illusions of Anger and Misunderstanding Are Removed By The Bhagavad Gita

The author writes about how reading the Bhagavad Gita helps him overcome the illusions of emotions like anger, misunderstanding, etc.

The Bhagavad Gita helps me overcome illusions of anger and misunderstanding and more.

Yesterday I was very angry with my sister. 

I was feeling angry because she comes to my bedroom and sleeps in it because it’s tidier than her bedroom.

She goes back to her bedroom at night but yesterday I felt very possessive of my bedroom.

So I felt angry even minutes after she went back to her room.

But then I started reading the Bhagavad Gita.

And I read a couple of chapters, and my anger was dispelled fast. 

Because when I read the Bhagavad Gita, it reminded me of the real goal of life.

It gave me clarity and I felt balanced and calm.

I also performed some of the psychological and breathing techniques that I learnt from NIMHANS.

And it helped me.

But the Bhagavad Gita was a real help.

My anger and possessiveness were illusions. They were not real. They were born of misunderstanding.

Sometimes I wonder why I didn’t read the Bhagavad Gita earlier.

Because if I had read it earlier, I would not have dropped out of the science stream after school.

But now there’s no point regretting it.

I need to use everything I have and not feel sorry for myself.

It’s never too late to change. 

And now that I have the dispeller of all illusions — The Bhagavad Gita, I can relax.

I am thankful I read Bhagavad Gita.

Thank you for reading this line! It means a lot.

College Memories: Pleasant And Negative

The author writes about his regular college memories and how they are influencing his mind in both pleasant and negative ways.

I’ve gone to regular college but I quit.

Due to my anxiety, I quit regular college and got admitted to another college in online mode.

The memories of the regular college were both pleasant and negative. 

Sometimes they haunt me. 

College Memories: What Was Possible

They remind me of what was possible. Of what I could have accomplished.

I did avoid regular college and I got admitted to online college.

But I don’t regret my decision. It was what was appropriate for that situation.

There’s no other alternative I could have gone for given what I knew back then.

There’s a stigma around online and distance education in India and also around the world.

And that may kind of hurt my career.

But it’s in the past.

I don’t want it to turn into a bad memory.

Nor do I want it to poison my soul. Because it is exactly that.

It’s going to make me negative and have regrets which I don’t want.

So I’ll stop thinking about it. I’ll focus on the present and future. Not the past.

Right now I am an MBA post-graduate. And I have completed my Bachelor’s and Master’s. 

Conclusion

I need to focus on how to move forward, not look back and have regrets.

Thanks for reading this line! It means a lot.

Bhagavad Gita: Significant Changes In My Life

The author writes how the Bhagavad Gita is changing this life and how a healthy level of doubt is necessary and alright.

I’ve been reading the Bhagavad Gita and I already see changes in my life.

Bhagavad Gita : Story Time

I recently started cooking lunch and dinner. 

Earlier me and my sister used to order lunch and dinner from restaurants.

But now I cook them.

Although I order the curry and side dishes, I prepare the main staple dish.

I cook rice or rotis. And order vegetable or chicken curry.

And I also know that my psychiatric medication has a big part to play in this.

But I also think the Bhagavad Gita definitely has a part in causing these changes in my life.

I feel more grounded and am sleeping better.

I’m having less problems waking up early or sleeping early.

Religion

The Bhagavad Gita is a Hindu scripture. But I’m not a Hindu, I’m an Adivasi(Saridharam- truth religion).

But I find that reading the Bhagavad Gita helps me a lot.

I can relate to Arjuna from Chapter 1 itself.

Doubts

Sometimes I doubt if indeed the Gita is the word of God. Or whether Gita is true.

And I think it is good to doubt to some extent.

I don’t need to have blind faith. I need to challenge the Gita and experience its truths for myself in real life.

Conclusion

I need to treat it as a manual but the real realisation would only be possible if I act and actually “assemble the parts” or “attain spiritual realisation” or “moksh” by following it.

So yeah I’m reading the Bhagavad Gita and this journey never ends because unless one attains “moksh”, there’s no stopping.

Thank you for reading this line! It means a lot.

Responsibility: Today I need to throw away all the garbage

The author writes about responsibility and how he is doing a lot of chores and tasks that are making him a responsible person.

I packed all the garbage and I’ll throw it today when the garbage truck arrives because it’s my responsibility as long as I’m in Bangalore.

And I don’t want to miss it, so I’m not wearing my earbuds while writing this blog post.

This is what responsibility does to you.

It makes you practical and grounded. 

It makes you want to save every paise and bargain with the shopkeepers. It makes you want to fight for survival and research the cheapest options before buying anything.

And that makes you a better person.

I learnt this from my elder sister. She always finds the cheapest food on Zomato. She always makes sure that she isn’t paying the delivery fee on Blinkit by buying over 200 INR of stuff.

So now I also follow my sister in her footsteps. 

But I also try to keep an abundant mindset. I don’t sacrifice quality for cheapness.

When I was younger, like maybe 19 years old, I used to think that money is meant to be used and spent to make life easier and more productive. 

Although it’s true to some extent, it is a dangerous belief because it makes you forget the value of saving money and the fact that for a middle class employee, money isn’t abundant, it’s scarce.

So we need to save money.

But do you see what responsibility did to me with regards to money.

It made me more practical and grounded.

And in life everyone has to become practical at some point.

It’s not optional.

Fear of not surviving, fear of death — these are the causes of this practicality.

And they are necessary. Responsibility is necessary.

Thank you for reading this line! It means a lot.

Responsibilities Are Necessary

Responsibilities teach you to be a better person more than any classes or reading books.

When I was in class 11 and I failed in class, I didn’t take any household responsibilities. 

My parents did everything for me.

And I just had to study.

But at that time I was facing problems related to sitting down to study.

I think if I had taken some household responsibilities at that time, I could have avoided failing in class.

And I am saying this not from a place of regret but maturity and knowledge.

Responsibility in my opinion makes you more realistic because you have to deal with life on a practical level.

And you also need to deal with all kinds of people.

You have to get out there.

Be it buying groceries, throwing garbage, cleaning your house, washing your clothes, cooking, etc. It requires being practical and facing society.

I’m not saying that you need to make conversations with everybody, but what I’m saying is that “Don’t get angry if someone misbehaves with you or speaks rudely to you.”

Responsibilities teach you many things like humility, perseverance, focus, groundedness, etc.

Thanks for reading this line! It means a lot.

Need: A Different Way To Hope

Sometimes we need to do something because there’s no other option but to survive. The author writes about that.

I NEED-

  • to write in the morning so that I can wake up and also because I like writing,
  • to follow a routine so that I can avoid feeling bored,
  • to get out of bed in the morning so that I can close the door when my mother leaves for work,
  • to stay awake during the day so that I can take medicine on time to get better,
  • to take a bath daily so that I feel better mentally and physically,
  • to study daily so that I can get a job soon,
  • to sleep on time daily so that I can wake up the next day,
  • to keep going so that I can live.

Most things we do have aspects of pain and pleasure attached to them.

And that’s really important for motivating us.

If we don’t do those things then there will be consequences.

And I think that’s necessary. 

If there are no consequences in life, we wouldn’t get up and do work.

Today when I woke up I was getting negative thoughts about the future.

But in a way those were good. They helped me understand the importance of urgency and doing my work as soon as possible.

In ancient Stoic Philosophy, this was called negative visualization. It’s really helpful.

But the fact that we do what we need to do is a powerful concept.

In life we need to do things which are difficult even if we don’t want to do them.

Thank you for reading this line! It means a lot.

Face Your Fears: Stop Being Toxic

The author writes about his experiences with fear, what happens when he doesn’t face them and what happens when he does.

Fear is an obstacle for everyone.

If you don’t face your fear, your life becomes toxic.

I don’t know why that happens but I’ve noticed it in my own life.

When I don’t face my fears, I become toxic.

I start to say negative things. 

I start blaming God.

I start hating myself.

I stop being grateful.

But when I face your fears, I start waking up early, saying positive things, loving God, loving myself, and becoming grateful again.

Because fear is a strong emotion.

But fear is also an illusion. 

It isn’t real. 

So face your fears. Follow your dreams. 

Thank you for reading this line! It means a lot.