Tag: anxiety

Trying – The Secret Of The Universe – Part 2

The author writes about how he had written a philosophy of trying as the secret of the universe and how it still holds true to this day.

On 16th February 2023 I had written a blog post named “Trying:The Secret Of The Universe”. 

In that blog post I had written my story of how my mother’s love and tenacity forced me to go outside my house. 

How Trying Has Helped Me

In this blog post, I want to share with you how that philosophy has helped me in the last 3 years.

Since 16th February 2023, I have improved a lot. My mental health and anxiety has gotten better.

I am able to go outside and am able to identify the real reasons when I’m unable to go outside.

My mother doesn’t have to force me to go outside anymore. 

And I am able to study daily and wake up on time.

I feel more confident and I have been living without my parents in Bangalore for some time.

What I want to say is that I’m trying and that act of faith in trying, knowing that I might fail, is helping me succeed.

I used to write in my older blog posts that I was waiting for my time to come. And I think it did come.

My Story

And in January 2026 I joined a data analyst course. At first I was procrastinating to study. But then I started studying for only 10 minutes. 

Slowly 10 minutes turned to 20 and then an hour and two hours. 

And now I’m almost at the end of my theory lecture parts of the course.

Same with my guitar practice. I started practicing for 10 minutes. 

I also learned to start small and break down the tasks into the essentials.

For example, if someday I’m not feeling like taking a bath, I’d think, “It’s just pouring water on my body and changing clothes.”

Conclusion

So yeah I still think trying is the secret of the universe. 

Thanks for reading this line! It means a lot.

How Therapy Helped Me Discover My Perfectionism

The author writes about how therapy has helped him discover his perfectionism.

I have been taking therapy sessions since 2014, and they have helped me a lot.

I have learned a lot about myself.

Not only that, but I have learnt many things about myself, but there’s this one thing that I was struggling to deal with. That’s perfectionism.

That was a major reason behind my anxiety problems, at least most of it.

It has cost me a lot of time and money. And when I discovered perfectionism as what I was experiencing, I was both shocked and relieved.

What I realized was that the problem was deep. It was deeply entangled with my beliefs. 

And although it won’t be an overnight recovery, it’ll take time to overcome my mental health issues.

Thank you for reading this line. It means a lot!

My Hardest Decision: Overcoming Anxiety To Pass My Exams

Daily writing prompt
What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? Why?
View all responses

The hardest decision that I ever made was to trust my parents when they forced me to take the class 12th board exams despite my mental illness.

I had been mentally ill in 2017. And I was admitted to NIMHANS(National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences), Bangalore for 2-3 months and came back to Howrah.

And I was so depressed that I couldn’t get out of bed or take a bath properly.

Plus I was diagnosed with bipolar affective disorder(BPAD).

And I think it was one of those days when my parents were really worried about me.

So they forced me to take the practicals and board exams of class 12.

I remember when our car reached the school I was feeling very scared. I thought that I couldn’t take the practicals. And yet my parents forced me to go to school and take them.

I performed pretty badly but passed. And I remember I couldn’t answer some of the viva questions.

And in the board exams I performed okay.

I passed my class 12th board exams in 2018 without dropping any year.

And for this I am grateful to my parents.

If they hadn’t forced me to take the exams I wouldn’t be here completing my MBA graduation.

If they hadn’t been there for me, I might have dropped out of school. But it was because of them that I was able to take the exams and pass out of school.

So this was my hardest decision I’d even had to make. To trust someone else more than how much I trusted myself.

Thank you for reading this line. It means a lot.

This Beautiful Song – An Original Poem

I’m listening to this beautiful song
Don’t know what she’s thinking
Don’t know how she feels about me
Don’t know if we’ll ever be together

I’m listening to this beautiful song
Don’t know if I should ask her
Don’t know if I should ask her about us
Don’t know if I should ask her about our future

I’m listening to this beautiful song
Don’t know if we should stay friends
Don’t know if our destinies are intertwined
Don’t know if we are meant for each other

I’m listening to this beautiful song
Don’t know if I should write poems anymore
Don’t know if she’ll understand me
Don’t know if God exists

I’m listening to this beautiful song
Don’t know if…
Don’t know how to feel
Don’t know how to not listen to this beautiful song

– Anirban Saren

An apology and a brief mental health update

I posted a blog post about my dissatisfaction with my life a few hours ago.

I write in that post that I wanted to cry but can’t.

I also wrote that “nobody understands me”.

All of my feelings are valid and it’s ok to cry.

But I felt the post was a little negative and didn’t add value to the readers. So I have taken it down the to drafts version.

So I am apologizing for my mistake.

Right now I am in the state I travelled to recently.

And my anxiety is going through the roof.

I need to stay busy and go out and have patience.

I’m glad you read this line. Thanks a lot!

Image credit – https://unsplash.com/photos/dont-give-up-you-are-not-alone-you-matter-signage-on-metal-fence-hluOJZjLVXc?utm_content=creditShareLink&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=unsplash

A New Perspective On Social Anxiety

I would like to write about my privilege. Before that, I would like to tell you a story. Once there was a boy with a mental illness. But people didn’t know that his condition was due to mental illness. The boy acted normally except he wouldn’t socialize much. Most times he wouldn’t socialize with people […]

A New Perspective On Social Anxiety

Just thought this might brighten up the rest of your day.

Please read this reblog post and let me know your opinion.

I’m glad you read this line. Thanks a lot!

Image credit – https://unsplash.com/photos/man-in-black-jacket-and-pants-sitting-on-stairs-mY-6bncc3rw?utm_content=creditShareLink&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=unsplash

Fear is meant to be overcome

I overcame my fear of going out.

I travelled to another state within India today.

Although my mother was with me, I kind of guided her throughout the journey.

I felt very anxious and I was chanting the Hare Krishna Maha Mantra throughout the journey.

That helped me a lot.

I guided my mother by telling her to cross check any directions she got from strangers. And we saved ourselves from getting lost.

Google maps saved us. My strong English speaking skills also saved us.

I realised that I am more capable than how little capable I thought I was.

We met a few extremely kind and helpful people who helped us reach our destination.

My sister’s advice and phone calls also helped me a lot. She is really a positive force of nature.

I’m glad you read this line. Thanks a lot!

Image credit – https://unsplash.com/photos/aerial-photography-of-airliner-rf6ywHVkrlY?utm_content=creditShareLink&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=unsplash

How to be patient?

So, in 2015, therapy felt pointless for this person until they met Dr. Prasanta Kumar Roy in 2017, who really understood them and helped them heal from BPAD. They emphasize faith and patience in overcoming suffering, suggesting that finding hope and keeping busy is key to coping with tough times.

When I was going to therapy in 2015, I was just told to do Cognitive Behavioral Therapy(CBT) homework.

The problem wasn’t that I won’t do it. The problem was I didn’t feel like doing it.

I didn’t have a problem with CBT but I had a problem with them not fixing my emotional states.

My Favorite Psychologist

It’s only in 2017 when I found a great psychologist who doesn’t even charge any fees if one goes through the public healthcare system of standing in the queue for 2 hours.

It was then that I truly got healed from my BPAD.

He is Dr. Prasanta Kumar Roy and he sits in Kolkata’s SSKM hospital.

He made me feel for the first time that a psychologist understood me.

But that was before 4-5 years of changing many psychologists. And years of suffering inflicted by my own mind.

Questions & Answers

Why do we suffer so much? How to be patient so that the suffering ends one day? How to wait till that day?

I think we suffer because we don’t have faith.

Plain and simple. We need to have faith in something bigger than us.

And without God’s blessings you can’t have so much patience and humility.

I’m not asking you to become a believer from an atheist. You could believe in a role model/good person also. But you must feel hope.

How to be patient?

I guess I started healing the day I started chanting the Hare Krishna mantra internally in my mind in 2017.

That gave me mental strength to hold on and keep doing what I have to do.

So you do need faith and belief and need to bow down to the divine to have so much patience.

How to wait till that day?

So basically I don’t feel like I’m waiting because I just do what I have with me.

“If I can’t walk, I’ll crawl.”

If I can’t go to classes, I’ll take online classes.

If I can’t go to grocery shopping, I’ll at least learn to cook.

If I can’t do anything, paralyzed by fear. Then I will speak to my mom, and she tells me to have faith.

Conclusion

I know I’m not a psychologist but I hope this blog post added value to your life.

Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: I(Anirban Saren) am not a licensed medical professional, psychiatrist or a psychologist and I’m not providing any medical advice. I’m writing my own opinions. Please consult a professional psychiatrist, psychologist before following this advice.

People

The author expresses a profound fear of people stemming from social anxiety, which severely restricts their daily activities. They believe that falling in love with a pursuit could help them confront this fear, though past experiences with rejection have made it challenging. Despite their anxiety, they remain hopeful for improvement.

Daily writing prompt
What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?
View all responses

What am I scared of the most?

I am scared of people.

But I am scared of them a lot. Because I have social anxiety.

I am scared of people.

I don’t go out much because I am scared of people.

I don’t do it intentionally. It is too severe in me.

What would it take to get me to face my social anxiety?

I think love.

If I fall in love with an endeavor that compels me to face social anxiety, I will face it.

It doesn’t have to be a person with whom I fall in love. It could be a vision, a task, a hobby, a business idea, a plan, etc.

I have fallen in love before, with business ideas, with tasks, hobbies, plans. But I guess the fear keeps coming back.

I am scared of rejection. Because I am afraid to be myself in front of people.

Conclusion

I hope things get better.

Thank you for reading this short blog post. Let me know what you think and please like, share and follow my blog.

My Realizations on Satisfaction part 1

The post discusses the struggle between desiring success and the need for satisfaction, particularly for individuals dealing with mental health issues. It highlights how trauma can hinder achievement, affecting self-esteem and confidence. The author encourages mental health fighters to forgive themselves for not meeting their success expectations, emphasizing understanding and compassion.

Everybody knows that they should be satisfied with what they have.

And yet they (including me) seek more success and more achievements.

And the funny thing is they can’t suppress their desire for success by telling themselves to be satisfied. No one can.

If you want success and you are not satisfied, don’t force yourself to be satisfied.

But sometimes, especially in the case of mental health fighters, one cannot fulfill all of their desires of success because of their traumatic mental illness related experiences and the time it takes to heal through medicines and counseling.

It’s like a handicap situation.

The hardships that people with mental illnesses go through leave them in a situation from where it’s difficult to achieve success with the same energy and force as before the mental illness.

Their self-esteem is damaged. Their self-confidence is damaged. Plus there are the symptoms of their specific mental illnesses.

And it takes a lot to have just a little success let alone more success.

So mental health fighters need to forgive themselves if they can’t do certain things or if they can’t perform at the level that’s required for achieving their expectations of success.

That’s what I wanted to write in this blog post.

Thank you for reading this blog post. And please comment if you struggled with mental illness and how you feel about success and satisfaction?