Independence is lonely. This is what I learned from my experience with bipolar disorder.
When I feel like my family members are not giving me enough attention, I get upset. And it’s not like they don’t like me anymore.
There could be any number of reasons why they don’t give me enough attention, but I feel like it’s because they don’t like me.
It’s not like that, but I feel it’s like that.
One day I realized that I was getting upset because of this, and I was thinking about how helpless I was.
Then it struck me that I have control over my thoughts and that I am giving my family members too much power over my happiness by thinking that they complete me.
I realized that I was dependent on my family members for my love and happiness needs.
One fine evening when I had been thinking I was helpless, I decided to not be dependent on my family members or anyone for love and happiness except God.
I said to myself,”I will not be dependent on my mother or father or sister. I will be dependent only on God.”
And I felt powerful. I felt empowered.
I started doing my share of household chores, like washing my own clothes, etc. Slowly, I will start contributing to my family’s well-being even more.
This power gives me independence and freedom.
But this newfound independence also brings loneliness sometimes. Because blaming and doing self-pity is easy. Blaming others and staying dependent on others is easy. But being independent and taking responsibility is hard.
Thank you for reading this post.
What is independence like for you?
