Hate Therapy? The Biggest Reason To Motivate Yourself For Therapy

When I was depressed and mentally ill, I went to probably 5 different psychotherapists.

Each of them has a different way of doing therapy(psychotherapy). And most of them did not have any impact on my mental health.

It was only when I found my current therapist that I feel like my mental health is getting better.

I’ll not name anyone, but I’d explain why this phenomenon of most therapy not working occurs.

I’ll not speak about different methods of therapy because I don’t know about them. I’ll write about my understanding and my beliefs.

I think the calmness and thoughtfulness of my current therapist motivate me to get better. I respect my therapist because of it.

And I think this motivation and respect also come from the intuitive understanding and belief that my therapist embodies what he says. That he walks his talk.

Most of the time, other therapists give us advice, but they don’t follow that advice. They are not happy with their lives themselves.

I don’t and can’t respect them because of some reason. Maybe because they don’t set an example for the person, they want me to be.

I think this is very important for even people of other professions- to walk their talk, be who you want others to be first, embody your truth, etc. This is a basic leadership skill.

Every therapist, life coach, and consultant is a leader who leads the clients, and patients from darkness to light. And if the therapists don’t inspire change in the patient by setting an example, then the relationship between the patient and therapist won’t work.

But what you need to do to overcome social anxiety, depression or any other mental illness is to follow your therapist’s advice even though your therapist may not be a good leader.

Just don’t keep changing therapists because you feel like they are not good leaders.

Also, the content of the advice is of little significance from my experience. The relationship between the therapist and the patient is more important than the content of the advice.

I mean who really listens or pays attention in therapy except for the therapist when there is no respect from the patient. Every word of advice goes to one ear and out from another ear of the patient or is entirely ignored by the patient.

Although when the relationship gets stronger and the patient finally respects the therapist, the patient will listen to his advice.

But until then it’s only the inspiration that comes from walking the talk on the therapist’s part that works for the patient.

So, the therapist works to the degree of the personal development of the therapist as a leader and a person who walks his talk.

Therapy is useful. And it is important.

And therapy has helped me feel understood amidst all the medication and psychological tests. I have felt better because of therapy. It has given me a safe space to speak about my feelings. It has helped me persevere during hard times.

I remember there was a psychologist at NIMHANS, Bangalore who was very polite and kind to me. I never forget her kindness. She always saw the good in me.

So go to your therapist or find a therapist near you and get therapy because it is important.

Disclaimer: The information on this page is not medical advice. Anirban Saren is not a medical professional or a doctor or a psychotherapist.

How I cope with depression, bipolar disorder and anxiety

How I cope with mental illness is simple. I write in my journal, my blog, my twitter page and my laptop. I also read books on philosophy. And when I am restless or bored, I watch Netflix or Anime.

Although time does not seem to pass. My days are very long. I feel like I have nothing worthwhile to do the whole day when I am not writing.

I also feel like I am a failure and a loser often. I don’t know why. There is no logical reason for calling myself a failure and a loser. But whenever I remember past negative events, I blame myself and call myself a failure.

My parents and sibling are very supportive. They listen to my problems and sympathize with me. They always encourage me to go out and live life. Sometimes I listen to them and sometimes I don’t.

Depression is a sneaky thing. It enters through the back door and when you are unaware, it gets a hold on you. I cope with depression by listening to music.

With bipolar disorder, where two extremes of the personality dominate at different times based on the mood. I cope with it through maintaining a journal.

With anxiety, I don’t cope quite well. But I try to not depend on my parents too much and try to become independent.

Well, why do I have mental illness? I don’t know. It happens to some people.

I hope I become a great writer, blogger, author, etc.

I think one can never overcome mental illness fully. One can only live with it better.

My plan is to write great stuff. And achieve my dreams through it.

I also think coping is possible only if you know yourself. If you don’t cope well, then probably you don’t know yourself well.

Thank you for reading my blog post. Stay tuned for more.

Journaling : How I Do It

I love to journal or write my thoughts in a diary. It is extremely therapeutic and calming. In this blog post I will share my experience with journaling.

I journal in the morning and evening and sometimes when I feel strong emotions. I know it sounds girly but trust me it’s not. Anyone who can write can do journaling.

The problem I think most people have is they don’t understand why journaling is necessary. It is extremely necessary. 

There are many benefits but I will share my personal experiences only because you can google the general benefits anyway.

For me as a person struggling with mental health issues, I journal a lot. I journal digitally, in a physical journal, on my phone, on the computer,etc. And that helps me keep myself focused and sane.

I am not saying that without journaling you are insane. I am just saying I journal because I love it and also because it is a necessity for me. 

There are many ways to journal- using prompts, using self-talk, using recollection of the day’s events, etc. And this makes the process fun. You can do it however you want to do it.

You can draw sketches in a journal. Or just write. Or do both.

Journaling is also a form of introspection. And introspection, I believe, is the most important skill a human being can learn. Journaling helps you do that.

I also think re-reading one’s  journals can help one grow more. It is the act of observation of the past accurately that creates wisdom. 

I re-read my journals sometimes. Although I started re-reading only a few months ago I am shocked by the insights I get from re-reading my journals.

But when you start writing in a journal the main focus should be to just write. It does not matter if you re-read it. You can think about that later. In the beginning just write as Iearnt this idea from Ryan Holiday from the Daily Stoic youtube channel.

The point of journaling is to introspect. To examine yourself. This is my opinion.

Thank you for reading my post. Please share this with your friends and family members and see you next time.

Role Of Racism And Casteism In Mental Health In India

The reason I am writing this post is to share with you how disturbing race or caste discrimination is on mental health.

I was born as an Adivasi in the Santhal community of India and I love my race and religion. But I also feel discrimination in society. And the reason is because of my birth.

From childhood I lived in an urban setting and my parents moved locations due to their jobs. I did not live in segregation from society in my tribal community. I lived with mainstream society. 

When I was in class 6 one of my classmates said to me in a bad language a slang followed by the word “Adivasi”. This had an impact on my thinking. 

I never felt like I could be myself when I am with non-tribal people. Because if I do become myself and act like myself I will be judged not based on my appearance or character but by race.

And they say that caste and race does not exist!

When I was a kid, I was not very social. And I did not assert myself very much. And race, in my case, had a big part to play in it.

And so when I was in a private engineering college I had to face even more racism. My labmates won’t let me do any lab work. They would outright ignore me and dominate through making groups inside the group and basically seeing me as a filth. I never felt at home there.

I am not saying my life is the way it is because of racism. I am not blaming racism or declaring myself a victim. I am saying that  racism and casteism is a serious issue. Ignoring it is not going to make it go away.

Even in high school I was being point to as the guy with Scheduled Tribe quota which created discrimination. I remember thinking,”How can I be myself here? They dislike me for my race. They dislike me because of a misconception of reservation quotas. They don’t realize that reservation is there so that we can represent ourselves in the parliament. Our communities, races and castes are far behind, economically, socially and education-wise. We don’t need a handout. We want our right- representation. That’s what reservation is for.”  I still remember the class teacher saying out aloud in class that the SC/ST people are taking away their seats. 

Some upper caste people say that their forefathers were the ones who did us wrong and they being their sons have nothing to do with their atrocities.

A thing about forgiveness is we cannot forgive. Forgiveness won’t bring our martyrs back. It won’t give us representation. Forgiveness won’t give us our rights in a democracy. Forgiveness will not undo the injustice that’s been done to us. So we cannot forgive. We want, we demand our place on the seat whether in university or parliament.

Racism and casteism has a tremendous impact on mental health. I cannot speak for others but I can speak for myself.

I never felt like I could be myself among non-tribal people. I never feel free to speak up or assert myself among them. 

In India if there is a movement where lower caste people and other races are accepted as part of India and not seen as the other, then maybe people like me can assert our identities more openly and be ourselves. That will improve the mental health of people like me.

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