December 2024 - Hope With Anirban

Believe in yourself

The author reflects on personal experiences highlighting the significance of self-belief. They recount two pivotal moments: evading parental authority at 14 and facing academic failure at 15. Through therapy and self-reflection, they learned that negative self-talk undermined their confidence. Ultimately, the message emphasizes the vital role of believing in oneself for happiness and personal growth.

Why should you believe in yourself?

To answer this questions let me tell you two stories.

First Story

When I was 14 years old(class 10), one evening I took a bus from my town to Dharmatala(Kolkata, India) to eat a certain food dish. I did this without my parent’s permission and also I skipped my private tutor’s class.

I returned home late at night without being able to find that food dish.

But my parents were very worried.

They called up my private tutor and the tutor told my parents that I hadn’t come to attend the class.

When I came home, I told my parents the truth and nothing happened. They said nothing.

Second Story

Fast forward to when I was 15 years old(class 11) next year, I failed in my final term exams. And got detained in class 11.

The reason I failed was because I couldn’t make myself study science. I hated those subjects.

And also I couldn’t overcome my mood swings.

But I didn’t have these insights at that time. I thought I wasn’t able to study because something was wrong with me.

Plus I was playing video games all day.

As a result to find what was wrong with me, I started watching self-help videos on YouTube and reading self-help books like “Psycho-Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz, “Mastery” by George Leonard,etc.

They were good books but they didn’t work for me. I applied their techniques for a few days but then gave up.

What fixed my problems was being treated by a psychiatrist and a psychologist.

But there’s also another perspective to this.

And that is…

I didn’t believe in myself.

Another Perspective

Maybe in class 10, I was better off because I had the confidence in myself, but I somehow lost that confidence in myself in class 11. And I became dependent on self-help techniques.

Maybe all my life I believed in something other than myself.

It is only recently at the age of 25 I realised that my self-talk is so negative. I am so harsh on myself all the time.

I need to believe in myself.

Why should you believe in yourself?

Because you will feel better about yourself.
Because you will be happier.
Because you will have a healthy mind.
Because you will be able to take better decisions.
Because you will be able to take better responsibility for your circumstances and mistakes.
Because you will be in control of your negative and positive self-talk.
Be less manipulated by others.
Be more authentic.

And so much more.

Conclusion

Believe in yourself.

In my short life I have realised the importance of believing in myself at the age of 25.

Life’s not easy. And maybe your life hasn’t been easy as well. We need to believe. Even if you don’t believe in God, believe in yourself.

Believe in yourself!

This is the core of what hope is.

Believe in yourself.

Thank you for reading this blog post.

Guide to an online degree for mental health fighters (India)

Anirban, despite battling bipolar affective disorder and social anxiety, has achieved a Bachelor of Business Administration from Amity University Online. He overcame immense self-doubt and setbacks in his academic journey. Anirban advocates for the value of online degrees, emphasizing their legitimacy and the opportunities they provide for stable employment.

Hi I’m Anirban, a person who struggles with bipolar affective disorder(BPAD) and social anxiety. And I have graduated with a bachelors in business administration in spite of my mental health struggles.

Before Online Degree/ Mental Health Struggles

For giving you some context, I was diagnosed with BPAD when I was 17 years old. And I take medication and am a lot better because of my medication and psychotherapy.

At 17, I was in class 12, and I had no confidence in myself, I couldn’t get out of bed and even take a bath or eat alone. I was depressed, manic, and had no self-confidence.

But with God’s blessings I somehow appeared for class 12 board exams and I passed. This was after I was diagnosed.

Then I got into an engineering college where I found it too difficult to understand the subjects. So I quit engineering college.

Then I started pursuing a Bachelor of Arts with Philosophy honors from a local college because I love philosophy.

But due to some technical problems, I was denied Philosophy and had to get into English honors in the same college.

But I couldn’t cope with the new environment and due to my social anxiety, I quit Bachelor of Arts with English honors.

Then I started my own business which was an ecommerce t-shirt print-on-demand business. That’s a story for another day. But I failed in that too.

Online College

But that’s not the end of my career.

I decided to study in an online college (Amity University Online). And I took admission in Bachelor of Business Administration because I had to get a degree. The job market is so competitive in India that you must have a degree to get a decent job.

And I studied, and I passed with 7.0 CGPA after 3 years in 2023.

Hurray!!!

I faced a lot of self-doubt, but I overcame them with the help of my parents and siblings.

Why an Online Degree?

So you may wonder,” Why get an online degree? Maybe it’s not as valuable as a regular degree.” or “How can I get an online degree? I haven’t finished high school.” or “I don’t need a degree because I will start a business.”

Well the last reason is a little naive because a business can fail but once you have a degree you can at least get a standard job anytime you want. And you can’t get a degree anytime you want. But you can start a business anytime you want.

And as for the first doubt,” Why get an online degree? Maybe it’s not as valuable as a regular degree.”, according to the University Grants Commission(UGC) in India, an online degree is equivalent with a regular degree.

Here’s the official notification from UGC’s website.

And as for the second doubt “How can I get an online degree? I haven’t finished high school.”, you can pass school through the National Institute of Open Schools(NIOS).

I have no experience with NIOS. But you can check out other people’s YouTube videos to research the information.

How to get a degree from an online college?

I will only speak about a private online college because I have graduated with a Bachelor of Business Administration(BBA) degree from Amity University Online where I have first-hand experience.

First speak to the admission counselor.
Fill the online admission form.
Then pay the first semester fees. Or you can avail an EMI plan.
Then wait for the login credentials for the university online portal which you will receive in your email inbox in a few days.
(optional) Attend the orientation program occurring for online students of that university.
Study and take the exams at semester end.(The exams are online proctored, meaning you will need a webcam on your laptop or PC and there will be a professor or admission invigilator who will watch you while you write the exam by typing.
(Optional)Attendance in online classes is not mandatory.
(Optional) Attend the convocation program and get your degree. Or you can get it via courier.
The medium of education is mostly English. And you need to be comfortable typing your answers on a computer.
Physical books are sent to your address every semester.
You can send them any query you have via email or the portal or even talk to them through phone call.
There may be a research project in your degree’s last semester depending on which degree you choose. You need to manage it somehow.

Conclusion

If you have any doubts, you can contact me via the contact form or send me a DM on Instagram(@anirbansaren657) or LinkedIn(https://www.linkedin.com/in/anirbansaren/).

I hope you found something useful from this blog post. I hope you get your future college degree and get a good job in spite of having mental health issues.

How To Control Your Anger?

The author reflects on personal struggles with anger and its impact on self-esteem and mental health. They share experiences of losing control, including violent outbursts, and highlight the importance of managing anger through internal and external strategies. Seeking therapy is emphasized as a valuable resource for better emotional health.

I get angry sometimes. And this affects my self-esteem and peace of mind. It causes regret in me.

My Brief Story

Although I no longer get angry to the extent of becoming violent. But I sometimes struggle to control my anger even today.

But I have improved my self-control a lot over the years.

I remember one day I got so angry that I tore my own clothes in an attempt to run towards the other person. Luckily the neutral people stopped me.

And if that’s not enough of hell, I take medication for my bipolar affective disorder(BPAD) even today.

I am getting better. But that’s some of my story of my struggles with my anger.

Ways To Control Your Anger

In this blog post I will write about 3 internal ways and 3 external ways to control your anger.

Internal ways-

Realizing that anger has consequences. It affects your self-esteem. And it can lead to violence and even death of someone.
Practice gratitude for the things you already have.
Perform any form of introspection daily like journaling, meditation, realizing that your expectations of the other persons are just going to make you more unhappy because you can’t change others but only yourself, etc.

External ways-

AVOID them- Stay away from/avoid the other persons, events or thoughts that trigger your anger for some time. This is something you can do immediately.
Let your anger go- Try to identify what you feel in the angry moments. Observe your emotions and let it go.
I read back in 2017 called “The Sedona Method: Your Key to Lasting Happiness, Success, Peace and Emotional Well-Being” by Hale Dwoskin.
In that book it taught 5 questions to ask yourself consecutively to release your emotions quickly-
- What do I feel?(example-”Anger”/”sad”/”peaceful”…)
- Could I allow myself to welcome this feeling?(example-”yes”)
- Could I let it go?(example-”yes”)
- Would I let it go?(example-”yes”)
- When?(ideally “now” but if you are not ready say “later” and then repeat these questions to yourself until you can say “now” and release these emotions. Repeat these questions as many times as your feel comfortable asking.)
- You can answer “no” or “later” or whatever you want. Remember these questions are for yourself to ask yourself internally. (I practice them till date and these questions saved me from many difficult situations.)
See a psychotherapist. Maybe you are unable to control your anger because something needs to change in your life. Maybe you are unable to change your life yourself because you have your own biases. So go to a therapist. They might be able to help.

There’s no shame in going to a therapist because they are like doctors. You go to a doctor when you get a fever in your body. Likewise you go to a psychiatrist, psychologist or a psychotherapist when you have a “fever” or illness in your mind.

Conclusion

As I said earlier in this blog post that “I get angry sometimes. And this affects my self-esteem and peace of mind. It causes regret in me. ”.

This may not be entirely true for you or other people but regardless of that anger does more damage to your and other people’s lives than you can imagine.

Worst of all it can lead to violence, injury, death, etc. So please be careful because prevention is better than cure. Regret is one of the worst things in life. Forgiveness is the greatest religion.

Please like, share and comment what you think about this blog post.

Pleasure is not bad.

I was listening to this.

And I feel literally enchanted.

I cook sometimes at home and I notice that ingredients like garlic require preparation like peeling off the outer layers, and then grinding it.

I always wondered why we care about something so unnecessary as garlic and onions when we can always eat food without them.

But my mom reminds me that it improves the taste of the food.

So I wonder why taste is necessary. Living an ascetic life is more aligned with spirituality.

But then I recall the fact that everything in moderation is necessary.

In life we must enjoy it in moderation. Neither be an ascetic person nor an addict.

In the above video Diljit Dosanjh and Ed Sheeran sing together and it sounds magical. I am literally enchanted.

This is what makes life beautiful.

Pleasure is not bad. Pain is not bad.

Both are necessary in moderation.

Balance is key here.

Happiness is the goal of life.