July 2023 - Hope With Anirban

What’s independence like?

Independence is lonely. This is what I learned from my experience with bipolar disorder.

When I feel like my family members are not giving me enough attention, I get upset. And it’s not like they don’t like me anymore.

There could be any number of reasons why they don’t give me enough attention, but I feel like it’s because they don’t like me.

It’s not like that, but I feel it’s like that.

One day I realized that I was getting upset because of this, and I was thinking about how helpless I was.

Then it struck me that I have control over my thoughts and that I am giving my family members too much power over my happiness by thinking that they complete me.

I realized that I was dependent on my family members for my love and happiness needs.

One fine evening when I had been thinking I was helpless, I decided to not be dependent on my family members or anyone for love and happiness except God.

I said to myself,”I will not be dependent on my mother or father or sister. I will be dependent only on God.”

And I felt powerful. I felt empowered.

I started doing my share of household chores, like washing my own clothes, etc. Slowly, I will start contributing to my family’s well-being even more.

This power gives me independence and freedom.

But this newfound independence also brings loneliness sometimes. Because blaming and doing self-pity is easy. Blaming others and staying dependent on others is easy. But being independent and taking responsibility is hard.

Thank you for reading this post.

What is independence like for you?

3 Qualities That Every Teacher Must Have

Daily writing prompt

What makes a teacher great?

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When I was in school, I learnt from many teachers. But one teacher was my English private tutor who taught me outside school. And I love him as a teacher.

I think of him as an ideal teacher. The reasons are-

Equal treatment to all students
Justice is an important quality. A part of justice is to treat everyone equally even though everyone isn’t born with equal privileges.
My English tutor treated everyone in the class equally. He even scolded me for doing anything wrong. And I gladly accepted it and learnt from it because I respected him for his equal treatment.
Simplicity in explaining concepts
The concepts that he taught were simple to understand. In school, the school teacher taught them in a very confusing manner. But my English tutor made those ideas easy to digest and remember and apply.
Stress was given on application of the concepts. We did essay writing every week.
And we spoke in English despite India being a regional language dominated place.
I still remember and apply most of those concepts in my life.
Good behavior
He is a good person.
I think it’s important to understand that a teacher doesn’t just teach through his words but also his behavior,his personality and his character.
He was soft spoken but he could also raise his voice and protest. He was gentle but could change one’s mind with his words.
He was a leader in his own right.

I think these qualities make a great teacher.

A great teacher doesn’t have to be charismatic or an extrovert or a highly intelligent person. They simply have to be a good person and a master of their subject.

I remember we used to write essays as homework every week. And I thoroughly enjoyed that process. He taught us so many ways to think about essay writing. And I fell in love with English.

I think English is my strongest subject and I love English. All this is because of my English private tutor.

3 Ways To Feel More Grateful For A Better Life

Have you ever felt like you ran out of things to be grateful for? Everyday you seem to repeat the same things in your gratitude journal and not feel as grateful.

That’s why I am writing this blog post where I will share 3 things you can do that will definitely make you feel more grateful. Plus these 3 things will improve your life and make it better.

Before I list the 3 things and explain it, I would like to share a story.

2 months ago, I was feeling very bored and unmotivated. I also wasn’t taking care of my body and was overeating and not following a routine.

So my family and I went to Gangtok, which is a place in the Sikkim state in India. There we saw snow and went to places high up in the cloudy mountains.

We saw Nathula pass, Changu lake and Baba mandir. We also went to Darjeeling where we saw Tiger Hill, and many other places of which I forgot their names. We had a lot of fun.

When I came back home, I felt very motivated. And started to take care of myself, my body, my mind and my daily routine.

I saw a video by a girl on YouTube (thewizardliz). And I was inspired.

I bought a bathing loofah and a back scrubber and a face wash. And I used them daily to keep myself clean. I still do.

I bought a yoga mat and started doing freehand exercises. I still do them.

I started living a self-loving life. And my life, and my mental health improved. Every area of my life from studying, to health, to peace of mind, moods, to anger issues, to motivation, all of them improved.

What I want to convey through this story is that although gratitude is a feeling, gratitude could also be an action or a habit that is oriented towards values like gratitude, honesty, kindness, cleanliness, friendship, positivity, persistence and so on.

It doesn’t have to be just about writing 3 things in a gratitude journal. It can be more than that. It can be an action or a habit.

Now I would like to give you the 3 ways or habits or actions that will make you feel more grateful for a better life-

Cleaning Your Room Regularly– We know the saying “Cleanliness is next to Godliness”. Cleaning your room will make you feel more positive, more decluttered and it will also make you feel grateful when you do it with a mindset of gratitude.

Ask yourself (and I am taking this key idea from Marie Kondo’s book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing”) if the thing that you want to keep or remove while decluttering, will spark joy.

This is a new idea I got from brainstorming. I myself have done it. It feels very positive and grateful and it is also productive. I also see it as a way of making myself more positive.
Read An Inspirational Biography– I read biographies and I feel we can learn many things from them. Learning from the lives of people whom we assume as superficial can be eye-opening.

I am currently reading Tim Cook’s biography and I am shocked by how much struggle Tim Cook had to face. Just from his childhood, there is a lot to learn.

I used to think of Tim Cook as a superficial person who went to good schools and whose family had a lot of money from the start. But that’s not the truth.

I mean there’s a lot to learn about life from biographies. And it will help you feel more grateful when you do it consistently.

Even if you read just for 15 minutes everyday, it will be worth it. The key is to approach reading through the lens of curiosity.

I feel extremely grateful to get to learn about Tim Cook’s life.
Daily Journaling– I write in a journal daily,whether digital or paper journal. I love to write.

Although it may seem obvious that most people do gratitude journaling. So of course you might be journaling already. But here I am not talking just about gratitude journaling.

I am talking about consistent journaling about everything from your feelings to your stories to how your day went and so on.

You will definitely feel grateful once you approach journaling through the lens of self-improvement.

Re-reading your journal once a week or more frequently is important. It is important for healing and feeling grateful.

There could be more ways but these are some things I do myself and that’s why I shared them.

I see these activities as a commitment to my belief in myself.

Swami Vivekananda taught me to believe in myself. And he also said,”You cannot believe in God until you believe in yourself”.

So first you must believe in yourself. All the ways I shared will strengthen your belief in yourself because you are essentially doing self-care and living a routine lifestyle through these habits.

I also believe that gratitude is a way of seeing the world. It’s not about thinking 10 things to be grateful for. It’s about being grateful even if something bad happens to you.

Can you be grateful even when you lose a leg or when your girlfriend leaves you? Can you be grateful when you don’t get the result you want?

It’s easy to feel grateful when you are doing well. But to do the same for the opposite condition should be the ideal goal.

So I share with you three ways to feel more grateful for a better life and I also share with you a new perspective of gratitude.

Please comment on what you will do to feel more grateful every day?

Why Is Education Important For Mental Health Fighters?

We all know the importance of education in life. But today I want to share with you my mental health perspective on education.

When I was in class 12, I had severe social anxiety going to school and private tutors’ classes. I couldn’t get out of my house to get in the car to go to school. I felt helpless.

I wanted to study and score good marks in Maths, Physics, Chemistry, Computer Science, Multimedia & Web Technology and English. But I couldn’t go to any of my private tutors’ classes.

Also I had many doubts which I couldn’t solve online. I needed a tutor. But I had social anxiety.

When the board exams arrived, I was unprepared but I somehow passed.

Post-high school I wanted to study science as a subject. I got into a private engineering college where social anxiety crippled me.

I didn’t appear for the exams and I failed. I lost one year.

One year later, I took admission in an arts college with Philosophy. But mid-year they didn’t let me pursue Philosophy because of my low Math marks.

I loved Philosophy and I was slowly overcoming my social anxiety. But life happened and I had to leave that college.

Then I took admission in an online college to pursue a Bachelor of Business Administration degree.

Throughout this journey, I lost my self-esteem. And some friends.

I also have bipolar disorder and social anxiety which made things more difficult.

But my point is education is important. Even in this mental health journey, you need to pursue and complete your education.

Most of the time people are forced to discontinue their education due to mental health issues.

Please complete your education, get a good job, start a business, and have a vision for yourself.

There a saying my sister told me about-

“What the mind doesn’t know, the eyes cannot see.”

I don’t know who said the above quote but I agree with them.

Study what you love but also keep in mind the job opportunities that could be available to you if you pursue a subject.

I don’t know how much sense this blog post makes to you. But please complete your education even if you have mental health issues.

There are online degrees, distance degrees, certifications, etc. And don’t give up.

Lastly I would like to list a few reason why education is important for mental health fighters-

Secure future that will help you get a job anytime in the future
Safety net in case you lose a job you will be able to get hired easily
Career growth will help you grow your salary which will be increasing the more qualified you are
Knowledge which will help you in your job or to start a business
Skills which will help in your job and business, plus you will be more valuable in the job market in general
Respect for yourself and from others because no one will underestimate you in your career
For getting paid for what you know
To prove to yourself that you can do it

For me, I am in my last semester of Bachelor of Business Administration degree at Amity University Online. And I will pursue my Master of Business Administration(MBA) in the future.

Please comment on why you think education is important for you?