Tag: entitlement

The Present And The Future Is All That Matters

The present and the future is all that matters. I have done many stupid things in my life. But thinking about the future gives me hope.

Do you think about your past and feel negative emotions like regret or embarrassment? Do you wish you focused on the present and the future more?

Then this blog post is for you.

When I was younger I did many stupid things which I would not do now.

I failed in class, dropped out of engineering college, felt a lot of entitlement when I was younger, etc.

And there are many smaller things I have done which make me feel embarrassed even today.

But those things don’t matter. Because they are irrelevant.

All that matters is the present and the future.

Because life is about self-discovery, not the past life.

Every day when I think about doing something I think about this in some way or the other.

I think that life is about self-discovery and that there are so many things I can discover about myself when I try new things.

There’s no point remembering the past.

I think maintaining a journal is helpful for this reason. Because writing helps you write the memories down and let it go in some way.

I write in a journal almost daily. And it’s fun.

I write what I feel in the present and what happened in the past and what I want in life in the future.

So yeah the past doesn’t matter. All that matters is the present and the future.

Thank you for reading this line! It means a lot.

You’re not special

I had read a book called “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck” by Mark Manson.

There the author writes about how entitlement or thinking that we’re special is the cause of our problems.

It is a deeply healing book and opened my eyes to the real meaning of the Bhagavad Gita.

I’m not an authority on spiritual texts, so I’ll only share my opinion.

I felt there’s a relationship between Mark Manson’s book and The Gita.

Maybe Mark Manson didn’t read the Gita. But I feel that way for some unknown reason.

For example from Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 2 verse 47 as little as I understand, it tells us to do work but be detached from the results.

I feel that Mark Manson also wants to say this through his work.

Why am I saying this? Why am I writing about Mark Manson’s book, The Bhagavad Gita and concepts of entitlement?

Because I feel it reduces our suffering.

It releases us from the idea that we must do something great. That somehow we’re special.

Sometimes it’s wiser to be humble and down-to-earth.

No life is ordinary.

Where I’m right now, I will meet my psychiatrist and psychologist in a few days and I feel like I should be treated in a special way.

Will that happen?

Nope, not going to happen.

I am getting a lot better. I have healed a lot from my mental health issues like bipolar disorder, psychosis, social anxiety, etc.

But my situation isn’t and never was special.

I’m glad you read this line. Thanks a lot!

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My Journey from Entitlement to Realization

When I was in class 11, I was suffering. Whether it was due to some mental illness, I don’t know. 

I remember I hated school. I couldn’t force myself to get dressed and go to school. 

So I thought something was wrong with me.

I would play video games all day from 6 am to 2am at night. 

And then I would read self-help and spirituality books to find what was wrong with me.

I went to psychologists, and they told me “You don’t have social anxiety”.

Then in class 12, I experienced psychosis. As bizarre as it may be to experience psychosis, it humbled me after spending time in NIMHANS (National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences).

I saw people my age, with more severe mental illnesses. As compared to them, I was much better off.

I was in class 12 and about to complete high school. Many of my roommates at NIMHANS hadn’t completed 7th grade.

After I was diagnosed with BPAD (Bipolar Affective Disorder), the opposite of thinking “I was not normal” happened. I realized slowly that my situation was very normal. 

Most people have similar problems.

I was not special. And I am not entitled to special treatment.

Yes I had BPAD and a little social anxiety. But so do other people. 

Yes I was entitled. And unrealistic. 

Now I am more realistic and humble.

The point of all the above words is to admit to and show you- There are two arrows that we are hit by in life. One arrow is from the external world. This arrow is out of our control.

But there’s a second arrow, our reactions to the first arrow.

For example, I was not able to go to school. My mind stopped me. This is the first arrow.

But to think that something is wrong with me and to read self-help books and playing video games out of frustration is the second arrow. These were reactions to not being able to go to school.

We can’t control the world’s events but we can decide how we are going to react to them.

Thank you for reading this blog post.