Mental Health Archives - Page 6 of 7

I will not name anything after me

If you could have something named after you, what would it be?

I will not name anything after me except my blog and business.

That’s because I believe that your work and deed make you worthy of remembrance than your name.

Great people like Gandhi, Dr. B. R. Ambedkar are still remembered because of their work, not because their photo and name are printed on paper money or books.

Why bother naming something after you?

Focus on humility and hard work.

There’s no need to attempt to prove to people that you are great.

If you are great, people would know it automatically.

I’m glad you read this line. Thanks a lot!

Good old days’ memories make me laugh

What makes you laugh?

When I was in secondary school, class 10, I had a lot of fun with my friends.

We had to go to multiple private tutor classes and we travelled by bicycle throughout town.

We stole money from our parents and feasted on good food.

We wasted time playing video games.

We studied together.

I had a crush. More about that later 😉.

But recalling the memories of those days makes me laugh.

Not because they were precious but because I know I can never have them back.

Now they are gone.

Those innocent days are of the past.

I feel lucky to have lived such a life even if it’s for a short period of time.

I am grateful.

I’m glad you’re reading this. Thanks a lot!

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Why am I doing this?

I am doing this for myself.

I am doing this for my soul.

I am doing this for my mental health.

I am doing this for my hope of a good life.

I am doing this for my dreams.

I am doing this for my pleasure.

I am doing it for my passions.

I am doing this for my truth.

I matter, all these things matter and I am doing this unapologetically for myself.

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I’m pretty bad at saying “No”

How often do you say “no” to things that would interfere with your goals?

I’m pretty bad at saying “No”.

I care too much about other people’s opinions and advice.

So when someone tells me about a goal that looks attractive, I think about it and get distracted from my main goal.

I’m working on fixing this tendency.

I’m glad you read this line. Thanks a lot!

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Caring

What is one word that describes you?

The word “caring” describes me the best.

I care about my family and friends and even strangers.

In school, there have been occasions when I have helped that new classmate sit in my seat in spite of me having a good time with my friends because he said he had some eye disease and he couldn’t see the white board from the back bench.

Once I had decided to not submit my assignment to the teacher because the previous day I had forgotten to inform my friend about it. He was upset and so I decided to postpone the assignment submission and submit it later with him.

In regular college where I went for only 6 months, I was always polite to everyone.

I made a few friends and they love me and I love them.

I learnt the values of caring from my mother. And I think it’s a crucial skill.

But sometimes I wonder if I care too much. So much that people take advantage of me.

A college classmate once said to me “You are so good. But nobody cares.”

Well, I don’t care if nobody cares.

And most people do care. People remember.

So yes I appreciate anirbansaren.com/ coming up with daily blogging prompts for their users.

I’m really happy that you are reading this. Thanks a lot!

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What’s confidence? – An Original Poem

Daily writing prompt

Who is the most confident person you know?

View all responses

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What’s confidence?

What’s confidence?
To be humble, yet fiercely brave
To be reasonable, understanding of your enemy’s pain
To not be violent, but argue peacefully.

What’s confidence?
It’s not about speaking in a charismatic way
It’s not about lying so subtly
It’s not about manipulating to get your own way.

What’s confidence?
To be honest about your needs
To draw healthy boundaries
To respect yourself.

What’s confidence?
It’s not something to show others
It’s how you feel about yourself
It’s about your values.

-Anirban Saren

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If I had to say who the most confident person I know is, it would be-

Not one person, but all kinds of people who share value of humanity.

And guess what everyone can be a confident and good human beings.

But if I had to say one person’s name- my mother.

She is the most confident person I know.

Thank you my dear followers/readers/writers.

Honestly I get social anxiety in the comments sections of some of your posts. Y’all know so much more than me and I feel like if I comment, I’ll look like a fool. But I will try to comment more.

Writing, music, and my mom

What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?

I write poems and listen to sad songs(when I’m sad) to cope with negative feelings.

Honesty my repository of activities to do when feeling negative feelings is pretty small.

When I say negative feelings, I mean anger, hopelessness, sadness, apathy, fear, shame, etc.

Emotions

Here’s what I do when I feel these emotions –

Anger–

First I remember the words of Sri Ramakrishna Paramahansa who said ” যে সয় সে রয়, যে না সয় তার নাশ হয়।” It means in English,”He who tolerates, is able to withstand, He who does not tolerate, gets destroyed.”

Then I stay away from the person I am angry with.

Then I start listening to sad songs and writing.

Hopelessness–

When I feel hopeless, my mother is my savior. She talks to me all the time.

My mother (মা), maa, is my best friend.

Writing doesn’t help in this department. Nor does sad songs.

Sadness–

I listen to sad songs. I guess I write only poems when I feel sad.

Apathy–

Apathy means not feeling like doing anything or “indifference”.

In these case, I ask myself,”What am I interested in learning/doing now?”

Usually it’s some computer skills unrelated to my academic studies.

But it gets me out of my negative feelings.

Fear–

I call my mom because I have no friends.

No sad songs or writing helps though.

Shame–

Shame, self-hatred, etc. are horrible feelings which I feel when visiting some of my relatives’ places.

It’s truly horrible.

They make me feel like I better hide under a rock and disappear for the next 20 years.

They compare me to my cousins and uncles.

They say things that has utter insensitivity to my mental health issues. They don’t understand and they don’t want to understand mental illnesses. Period.

I don’t visit them much. That’s how I cope with shame.

Conclusion

So that’s a lot of combinations of- writing,music and my mom.

I hope I never outgrow these three gifts of my life. May I always love writing, music and my mom (মা).

Well this script is Bengali, our local Indian language in Kolkata, India.

Thanks for reading!

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Learning maths basics in my free time

What is the last thing you learned?

Well, I was studying for my MBA Data Science degree and I guess I am lucky in a way because I just have to explain mathematics concepts and not actually do much complex problem solving.

But I was just curious about revising some of the basics about linear equations and statistics.

And I guess I am unlucky in the sense that I wish I could understand mathematics more deeply like if I was studying a masters in science degree.

I guess I will study more mathematics in my free time.

Do I have the Khan academy app on my phone? No I have it on my PC’s browser.

Anyways I guess I was feeling a little depressed for a few days, but now I am back to studying for my MBA.

I had my 3rd semester exams a few days ago. It went well.

Thought I would just answer this daily prompt. Thanks for reading!

What’s independence like?

Independence is lonely. This is what I learned from my experience with bipolar disorder.

When I feel like my family members are not giving me enough attention, I get upset. And it’s not like they don’t like me anymore.

There could be any number of reasons why they don’t give me enough attention, but I feel like it’s because they don’t like me.

It’s not like that, but I feel it’s like that.

One day I realized that I was getting upset because of this, and I was thinking about how helpless I was.

Then it struck me that I have control over my thoughts and that I am giving my family members too much power over my happiness by thinking that they complete me.

I realized that I was dependent on my family members for my love and happiness needs.

One fine evening when I had been thinking I was helpless, I decided to not be dependent on my family members or anyone for love and happiness except God.

I said to myself,”I will not be dependent on my mother or father or sister. I will be dependent only on God.”

And I felt powerful. I felt empowered.

I started doing my share of household chores, like washing my own clothes, etc. Slowly, I will start contributing to my family’s well-being even more.

This power gives me independence and freedom.

But this newfound independence also brings loneliness sometimes. Because blaming and doing self-pity is easy. Blaming others and staying dependent on others is easy. But being independent and taking responsibility is hard.

Thank you for reading this post.

What is independence like for you?

What Will Make You The Happiest?

Although this insight comes from my experience, I believe that what will make you the happiest is being yourself.

Be unique, quirky, different, find your own truth, be yourself, don’t live a common life, don’t do what is conventional, always seek your truth, etc.

Let me tell you a story. When I started writing I had no idea that I would fall in love with the process of writing and the benefits that come with writing. It led me to discover my truth instead of accepting some fixed doctrine.

Sometimes I fall into the trap of following religion or capitalism or materialism or some philosophy or some other ideology which is always a trap of finding your truth.

For example, one day some three years ago approximately, I reading Bhagavad Gita As It Is. And reading it felt good but then after a month I joined ISKCON’s Satsang and started absorbing the ideology in my mind.

I am not saying that there’s no truth in spiritual teachings. What I am saying is that your truth is not an ideology, it’s your inner wisdom.

No amount of ideology can replace your inner wisdom, your truth.

So as you might infer, I stopped going to ISKCON satsangs for various reasons but one of them was the heavy use of Hindu mythology.

I still read the Gita from time to time but I don’t subscribe to one ideology.

Now you may think what does being yourself look like?

Although I am far from perfect but for me, I journal every day and I write in my blog sometimes. This helps me observe what I am thinking daily and stay on track with living my truth.

I believe in hope and all things real like honesty, love, faith, generosity, etc. And I have social anxiety and so sometimes I am unable to be generous to all people, but I try my best to have hope most of the time.

Overcoming social anxiety is something I have to work on but that’s just what comes with the package that is called me.

Being yourself is also full of struggles. Choosing commerce or arts instead of science stream is hard when no one in your family is from commerce or arts. Choosing to work in a corporate job is hard when all your family members and relatives work in the government.

But it comes with the knowledge that you are being you. You are living life from your inner wisdom.

Have you ever travelled solo to some new place? I did. When I was in class 10, age 14, I went to the city to eat in a restaurant alone skipping tuition classes. My parents were worried thinking about where I had gone. But I returned home safely.

Also, I had done stupid things all my life with friends or alone.

Something inside me guided me. And I believe the more we allow this guidance to guide us in new situations, the wiser we become.

This is what fuelled pioneers- freedom, adventure, and self-expression.

But you may think that spiritual teachings ask us to find these values in ourselves- to find God in yourself, in man.

I guess you could say if finding God is what inspires you, then that is your truth. If someone is inspired by adventure, then that is their truth.

Conclusion

Swami Vivekananda taught humanity to believe in oneself.

And that’s why I say what will make you happiest is to be yourself, to live by your truth, to believe in yourself, and to be original and truly free.

Thank you for reading this blog post. Please share this blog post and answer this one question-

What is your truth that you believe in?