I’m listening to this beautiful song
Don’t know what she’s thinking
Don’t know how she feels about me
Don’t know if we’ll ever be together
I’m listening to this beautiful song
Don’t know if I should ask her
Don’t know if I should ask her about us
Don’t know if I should ask her about our future
I’m listening to this beautiful song
Don’t know if we should stay friends
Don’t know if our destinies are intertwined
Don’t know if we are meant for each other
I’m listening to this beautiful song
Don’t know if I should write poems anymore
Don’t know if she’ll understand me
Don’t know if God exists
I’m listening to this beautiful song
Don’t know if…
Don’t know how to feel
Don’t know how to not listen to this beautiful song
– Anirban Saren
Tag: self-aware
First Be A Good Person
A good leader must first embody qualities of a good person, defined primarily by honesty and integrity. While not perfect, such individuals stay true to their word and admit their mistakes. Morality is crucial, often valuing personal character as much as success or wealth. The reflection on leadership is influenced by personal experiences.
I belief a good leader must be a good person even before they start leading people.
What is a good person?
Now this one is what I can answer.
I can answer this NOT because I think I am a good person.
I am not a bad person. I am moderately good. But only other people’s statements regarding my character will be true.
Who are they?
So what is a good person?
I have read the Bhagavad Gita’s Chapter 2 but I will not borrow definitions from it because that’s not verified by me with direct experience.
In my opinion, a good person is a person who is honest(to himself/herself always and to others most of the time).
I know a person who is older than me. They are a leader in their profession. And they are good as a person in the common sense. But they are also honest to the extent that they will go out of their way to keep their word.
It’s 21st century and I am talking about the “word”.
Who cares about honesty these days? Right?
Well, the answer isn’t “nobody”. Although nobody is honest all the time. And nobody is flawless. There are people who are honest and pure hearted.
Honest to themselves.
They would admit they are wrong even if it means their opponents would win.
Morality is as important as money or success.
The person I was talking about can be any good leader in the world.
But I had my mother’s life floating before my eyes when I was writing the above lines.
Same goes for my elder sister.
Conclusion
Thank you for reading this blog post. Please comment your opinion on what a good leader is.
How I Deal With My Negative Self-Talk
Do you feel frustrated with your negative self-talk? Then read this blog post to know how I deal with it.
I used to frequently demean myself for doing stupid things. And although it’s considered normal and almost everybody does it, I think it’s important to reduce these self-demeaning thoughts.
It’s OK to sometimes think that you are weird or stupid. But sometimes these thoughts feel overwhelming and too much to handle.
In those situations, we need to calm our minds and relax a bit. And seek to become more self-aware.
A few weeks ago, I was reading a book called “How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety” by Ellen Hendriksen (Affiliate link: I get a commission if you purchase the book through this link) and I read a part where the author makes the readers ask three easy questions.
These three questions from the book helped me deal with negative self-talk and reduce my anxiety-
- What’s the worst that can happen?
- What are the odds of that happening?
- How would you cope?
And I noticed that whenever I get anxious or do any negative self-talk, I ask myself these questions and I can become aware of why I felt negative or got a strong urge to call myself “stupid” or “loser”.
When I do this, I can reduce my negative feelings to something manageable.
For example, if I feel like a loser because I lied to someone about something unimportant because it would be very embarrassing to accept that I had lied. So I say to myself in negative self-talk,” You are just a loser”.
If I immediately counter that by saying,” No, I am not a loser, I am a winner.”, I continue feeling bad for some reason.
But if I ask myself the above three questions one by one, this is what happens-
Me – “What’s the worst that could happen in this situation?”
My answer- “Oh well, the person would call me a ‘liar’ out loudly and kick me out of the institute forever and people would know I am a ‘liar’.”
Me- “What are the odds of that happening?”
My answer- “Well, the person may ask why I lied. And I would say I was nervous. And he would probably trust me less.”
Me- “How would I cope?”
My answer- “I would probably listen to some sad songs and write a sad poem to myself and read spiritual stories and forgive myself through writing in my journal. It’s just one time I lied a silly lie, to one person. No big deal. I won’t repeat it and now past is past.”
This process makes me feel so much better. And I don’t feel like I am fighting an uphill battle against my mind.
This process also reduces my anxiety a lot and I feel like I can reduce these big and scary thoughts to something more manageable with just the second question,” What are the odds of that happening?”
And I also noticed that I can overcome more of my social anxiety with these questions in real life. I went to 3 big social events this month and I think those are big wins for me. I believe that’s because of the above book.
For all this, I want to thank Ellen Hendriksen, the author of the above-mentioned book “How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety”.
I haven’t finished listening to the whole audiobook on audible.in but I will do it soon.
You can also use these questions to deal with your inner critic and negative self-talk and reduce your anxiety one question at a time.
Although I didn’t overcome my anxieties this month overnight. It took time.
Also, the book’s original questions are phrased like this-
- How bad would that really be?
- What are the odds?
- How could I cope?
Also in the book originally the questions are only one part of the whole process. So don’t completely depend on me or think that this is the complete process. Please get the book and read it.
Thank you for reading this blog post. Do read the book and please comment on what you think about this blog post.
Disclaimer- I am not a psychologist or a doctor. If you have a mental illness, please seek the help of a professional. The advice in this blog post is just from my personal experience. For the full scientific process, read the mentioned book.