Tag: acceptance

Love And Accept Yourself: Don’t Seek Approval From Others

The author writes about his experience if seeking approval from others in the past and realizing the futility in doing it.

Loving Who You Are: No Approval Seeking

Loving who you are is probably one of the most ignored actions of human beings. We want approval from others.

Everybody has insecurities, but we don’t accept them easily.

Instead, we engage in negative self-talk and scold ourselves for being insecure.

We want approval from others but even if they approve of us, we still feel empty.

In my short life, I have been wanting approval and I have realized that if I run after approval and care about what other people think of me, I’ll never truly be happy.

My Story: Birla High School

When I was in class 10, I studied hard to score 84.6%, and then in class 11 I got admitted into Birla High School(BHS), which is one of the most elite high schools in Kolkata and even India as a whole.

Part of the reason I got into BHS was to make my parents proud. 

But I wasn’t proud of myself. 

I got my parents’ temporary approval by getting into BHS, but I didn’t approve of myself.

I still disliked being lonely and I hated myself.

Furthermore, I hated my personality, my lack of confidence, my inability to make friends, my weakness of not being a leader and I didn’t like my stream of subject – science.

Not only that, but I even read multiple self-help books like “Psycho-Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz to “fix” myself. But nothing worked. 

Because there was nothing to “fix”.

I needed to accept myself.

I needed to tell myself that I loved myself and that I was sorry for hating myself.

And then I needed to change my self-talk.

But I didn’t do any of these actions because I didn’t know how to do them.

I was lost back then.

Conclusion

Today, however, I have started to realize that no matter how much approval I seek, I’ll still feel empty inside.

First I need to accept myself fully.

I need to love myself.

I have an app on my phone called “Finch” and it is a to-do list app for neurodivergent people.

Likewise, I have a to-do item on it that says “Pause and say ‘thank you’ to myself”.

And I find it very soothing to thank myself every day.

So yeah, loving who you are is an underrated skill that everyone should learn.

Thank you for reading this line! It means a lot.

This Beautiful Song – An Original Poem

I’m listening to this beautiful song
Don’t know what she’s thinking
Don’t know how she feels about me
Don’t know if we’ll ever be together

I’m listening to this beautiful song
Don’t know if I should ask her
Don’t know if I should ask her about us
Don’t know if I should ask her about our future

I’m listening to this beautiful song
Don’t know if we should stay friends
Don’t know if our destinies are intertwined
Don’t know if we are meant for each other

I’m listening to this beautiful song
Don’t know if I should write poems anymore
Don’t know if she’ll understand me
Don’t know if God exists

I’m listening to this beautiful song
Don’t know if…
Don’t know how to feel
Don’t know how to not listen to this beautiful song

– Anirban Saren

I wish

I wish I had the courage to tell her

That I think about her

That I care for her

That I don’t want to lose her

–

I wish I had the intelligence to understand her

To feel her pain

To let her make mistakes but

To let me feel her pain

–

I wish I was closer to her

To protect her

To be by her side

Even when she didn’t want me

–

I wish I could be someone she prefers

Someone she thinks is handsome

And be hot and cool

And everything she adores

–

I wish I could tell her

That I love her

That I just want her soul

That I just want to be there for her.

–

Anirban Saren

I could let go of my anger

What could you let go of, for the sake of harmony?

If I could let go of something and if it brings harmony,  I would let go of my anger.

I used to think anger was necessary to get justice.

But now I think differently.

I’ve been in NIMHANS for over 2.5 months and my perspective has changed.

What anger does is make us think emotionally and not logically.

And when I get angry, the first thing I try to do is box breathing and the 5-4-3-2-1 method.

It helps to do some kapalbhati and bhastrika yoga pranayamas.

I think I have grown a lot in these few months.

So yeah if I had to let it go, I would let go of my anger.

And then think calmly.

Anger is the enemy and we need to let it go.

Thanks for reading this line. It means a lot.

Image credit – https://unsplash.com/photos/selective-focus-photography-of-green-succulent-plant-vHnVtLK8rCc?utm_content=creditShareLink&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=unsplash

Forgive yourself

When you meet a stranger and based on their first impressions you judge them and think maybe they are rude and you are innocent, remember that they also might think the same about you.

You judgement that they are rude and judgemental is your judgement. And they aren’t necessarily true.

So stop judging and be happy.

We all are equal. And we must respect ourselves and each other.

Forgive yourself and forgive them and forget.

I’m glad you’re reading this. Thanks a lot!

Accept accept accept

Accept whatever life throws at you.

Without accepting you can’t change it.

Without accepting you can’t be happy.

Without accepting you can’t be good.

Surrender to the truth however bitter it may be.

That’s real growth.

That’s real healing.

Truth is the ultimate healer.

Acceptance is the ultimate method of healing.