Category: Life

Why Do Some People Act Selfishly?

We all know people who act selfishly. Do you ever wonder why they do it?

I will answer this question here.

I want to start with a story. 

Story

I had a friend who lied a lot. He manipulated me and other people. 

When I first met him, he seemed like a smart person. He had exceptional people skills. 

We quickly became friends because we agreed on most things. 

One day, after a few weeks of friendship, we were returning by metro train. And he started smoking behind a pillar in the metro station area.

I was not aware of the presence of policeofficers in the area. So I asked if I could smoke as well. He handed me the cigarette and I took a puff. 

Then suddenly he hinted to me that a policeofficer was coming. I quickly dropped the cigarette into the drain near the pillar. 

The policeofficer only saw me smoking because I was not hidden by the pillar. 

He took me to the office and asked for a fine of Rs.250. 

I gave him the money, and he let me go.

Then my friend and I went to catch the metro toward home. 

A few weeks after that, we parted ways because of his lying. 

When I look back now, I wonder why he lied so much and manipulated me and other people.

I wonder if he wanted me to go to jail over smoking a cigarette. I wonder if he started smoking intentionally.

He used to tell me to not be so simple. He would mock me, saying that people used me and manipulated me. 

I will not jump to conclusions, but the thing that fascinates me is the reason why some people act so selfishly, in such evil, and so manipulative manners. It’s as if they are the messengers of the devil himself.

But then I catch myself judging, and I ask myself, “How have I ever done similar evil things? How have I lied, manipulated or done selfish and evil things? Why did I do them?”

I don’t know the answer as of now. But one of my goals is to know why people act in selfish ways.

The reason I wrote this blog post is to make you wonder- if evil exists, where does it exist? If people act selfishly, why do they do it? 

My intuition tells me that evil comes from ourselves. 

Conclusion

I think evil comes from thinking that you are separate from God. I don’t know what an “evil” minded person thinks or believes, but I know that when I do something bad, I believe that I am separate from God, that I am mortal, that I need to snatch my bread from others, I need to do whatever it takes to survive in this brutal world.

And that’s all nonsense. You are not separate from God. You are immortal.

Thank you for reading this blog post. Please comment on why you think some people act selfishly?

Read This to Feel Less Afraid of the Future

Do you feel afraid of the future and start worrying? In this blog post, I will share my perspective on feeling less afraid of the future.

I think it is totally okay to be afraid of the future. And it is not at all wrong if we worry about the future. In fact, a little fear and pain will motivate you. 

But when worrying becomes pointless and being afraid doesn’t help motivate you, what do you do?

I think it is in those moments of fear that we need to be courageous. We need to find the courage to say, “F*ck it! I am not going to be afraid anymore and second guess myself. I will take action.”

Recently, a person asked a question on Reddit about what career he should pursue. He said that he was having a hard time deciding. 

I wrote-

“I was feeling the same way 6months ago. I didn’t know what career should I commit to. I was confused what my purpose in life was. I also didn’t want to be in the corporate companies. I wanted to do what I felt passionate about. So I did a self-analysis. I asked myself about what successes I had in the past years. And I saw that I have some success in creating blogs and YouTube videos. I didn’t get many views or subscribers but I had posted 70 videos which most of them were low quality and I was nervous or fumbling or stammering and I had made most of them private but I had shot and uploaded 70 videos. The problem was I wasn’t getting many views. So I researched about how to grow on YouTube. And I learnt that I needed an income stream to keep myself mentally healthy and have a social life and pay expenses and make YouTube videos on the side. So I am working on my copywriting portfolio after taking a copywriting course because writing is also one of my passions.

I think it’s important to think about life like an archaeologist and not an architect. Life is about discovery and not about walking on a planned path.

I hope to make YouTube videos and generate income but I am going to do copywriting to pay my bills and build a network and friends and a social life and buy a good camera.

I remember someone told me – my main problem is not lack of knowledge of my career or purpose but lack of experience. Inaction is my greatest enemy.

So don’t worry! Just start doing what you think you love and have passionate for but also keep in mind the practical aspects of paying the bills and your long term goals. 😄”

Anirban Saren on Reddit

I think I still stand by this belief that life is about being an archaeologist (adopted by Ali Abdaal’s videos on YouTube). And it’s about self-discovery.

And it isn’t about trying to find and connect the dots backwards, it’s about believing in something strongly and following one’s heart, and trust that the dots will connect automatically.

I am working on my degree, my copywriting portfolio and moving forward slowly. 

Sometimes I worry about the future and I get anxious. But I have learned to face the fears by saying, “F*ck it!”.

I think life is not about reaching a goal, it’s about growing yourself constantly through experiences.

Conclusion

So this is my perspective-

Life is about self-discovery. Look into the future and ask yourself,”How do I want my life to be?” and take action. The dots will connect automatically when we focus on self-discovery instead of controlling the present and the future. And if the fear of the future still persists, say “F*ck it! Let’s do it.” Because life is about growing yourself constantly through experience.

Thank you for reading my blog post. Please comment- What is your perspective on feeling less afraid of the future?

My Story of Fighting Suicidal Ideations

My goal in this blog post is to make you believe that there is hope out of suicidal ideations, depression or any other mental illnesses in your life.

I remember it started 2 years ago. Before that, I had been suffering from bipolar disorder since 2015 and I had serious social anxiety. 

In 2018 I somehow passed class 12 with below-average marks and I dropped from 2 colleges in the span of 2 years. And in 2021 I was studying at an online college. 

Between 2017 to 2018 I had 3 psychotic episodes and although I didn’t share this in my previous blog post, in 2017, I attempted suicide and I had to go to Bangalore for treatment. I also started taking prescription medication for bipolar disorder since then. 

All this kind of made me doubt myself and I felt lost and confused. I remember I would say to my mom about my confusion and my suicidal ideations.

Although I didn’t take action on those thoughts, I remember days when I would play sad songs and stay up till 3 am. 

I remember in those moments the only hope for me was my mom. She gave me strength and hope. She made me who I am.

 I remember I started doing certain things-

  1. I started believing in the existence of hope(goodness, truth, real beauty, God)
  2. I took psychotherapy more seriously and took regular medications
  3. I started with small habits 
  4. I started to read books on mental health

I also went to an astrologer, which I have faith that it helped. I also did reiki healing on myself earlier which also helped me. 

What kept me going? What is hope to me?

Hope kept me going.

Hope is when I feel anxious to do something and I am unable to overcome the fear but something happens- a change of mind, a possibility in my mind opens because of someone or something inside or outside me and I am able to overcome the anxiety.


Hope is goodness, truth, real beauty, inspiration, a forgotten dream resurfacing, God, etc. 

It isn’t something we can control, but we can surrender to it and let it wash over us. 

And what I want to convey to you through this blog post is that hope exists. 


Live life for yourself, your dreams, your ambitions, your future contributions to others, helping others etc. 

I was listening to a podcast called “hope is real” by Jazz Thornton with Kevin Hines. Kevin Hines is someone who survived a suicide attempt by jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge. And he told his story of how a sea lion kept him floating on the water’s surface when he jumped.

What I learnt from the episode was “Asking for help makes you wise” not a failure. Maybe the words are slightly different but it’s what I remember is said by Jazz Thornton. 

Ask for help, see a therapist, take medication, do what you are passionate about, etc. Don’t give up. 

Every day I am fighting and I still get these ideations sometimes but I can handle them with the help of my therapist and doctors.

Believe that there’s hope for you. You matter. Your existence matters. 

You can overcome suicidal ideations.

Thank you for reading this crucial blog post. If you liked it then please share it on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter and other social media platforms. Also, comment on what you think of this blog post.

Disclaimer- I am not a psychologist or a doctor. This blog post is purely from my personal experience. I don’t provide medical advice. If you have mental health issues then please seek the help of a medical professional.

How I Deal With My Negative Self-Talk

Do you feel frustrated with your negative self-talk? Then read this blog post to know how I deal with it.

I used to frequently demean myself for doing stupid things. And although it’s considered normal and almost everybody does it, I think it’s important to reduce these self-demeaning thoughts.

It’s OK to sometimes think that you are weird or stupid. But sometimes these thoughts feel overwhelming and too much to handle.

In those situations, we need to calm our minds and relax a bit. And seek to become more self-aware.


A few weeks ago, I was reading a book called “How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety” by Ellen Hendriksen (Affiliate link: I get a commission if you purchase the book through this link) and I read a part where the author makes the readers ask three easy questions.

These three questions from the book helped me deal with negative self-talk and reduce my anxiety-

  1. What’s the worst that can happen?
  2. What are the odds of that happening?
  3. How would you cope?

And I noticed that whenever I get anxious or do any negative self-talk, I ask myself these questions and I can become aware of why I felt negative or got a strong urge to call myself “stupid” or “loser”.

When I do this, I can reduce my negative feelings to something manageable.

For example, if I feel like a loser because I lied to someone about something unimportant because it would be very embarrassing to accept that I had lied. So I say to myself in negative self-talk,” You are just a loser”. 

If I immediately counter that by saying,” No, I am not a loser, I am a winner.”, I continue feeling bad for some reason. 

But if I ask myself the above three questions one by one, this is what happens-

Me – “What’s the worst that could happen in this situation?”

My answer- “Oh well, the person would call me a ‘liar’ out loudly and kick me out of the institute forever and people would know I am a ‘liar’.”

Me- “What are the odds of that happening?”

My answer- “Well, the person may ask why I lied. And I would say I was nervous. And he would probably trust me less.”

Me- “How would I cope?”

My answer- “I would probably listen to some sad songs and write a sad poem to myself and read spiritual stories and forgive myself through writing in my journal. It’s just one time I lied a silly lie, to one person. No big deal. I won’t repeat it and now past is past.”

This process makes me feel so much better. And I don’t feel like I am fighting an uphill battle against my mind.

This process also reduces my anxiety a lot and I feel like I can reduce these big and scary thoughts to something more manageable with just the second question,” What are the odds of that happening?”

And I also noticed that I can overcome more of my social anxiety with these questions in real life. I went to 3 big social events this month and I think those are big wins for me. I believe that’s because of the above book.

For all this, I want to thank Ellen Hendriksen, the author of the above-mentioned book “How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety”. 

I haven’t finished listening to the whole audiobook on audible.in but I will do it soon. 

You can also use these questions to deal with your inner critic and negative self-talk and reduce your anxiety one question at a time.

Although I didn’t overcome my anxieties this month overnight. It took time. 

Also, the book’s original questions are phrased like this-

  1. How bad would that really be?
  2. What are the odds?
  3. How could I cope?

Also in the book originally the questions are only one part of the whole process. So don’t completely depend on me or think that this is the complete process. Please get the book and read it.

Thank you for reading this blog post. Do read the book and please comment on what you think about this blog post.

Disclaimer- I am not a psychologist or a doctor. If you have a mental illness, please seek the help of a professional. The advice in this blog post is just from my personal experience. For the full scientific process, read the mentioned book.

The Story of My Favourite Singer 

This is the story of my favourite singer Christina Grimmie. 

Christina Grimmie was a singer, YouTuber and many things. She was also a contestant and top 3 finalists of The Voice Season 6. 

She was also a strong believer in Jesus Christ. Her strong faith was commendable. 

And she was my role model. I looked up to her and wanted to grow up watching her succeed. 

But on 10th June 2016, she was murdered and died from gunshot wounds. 

Story of Christina Grimmie

I found her youtube channel on 5th June 2016(approx. date) and I watched her “Must Be Love” music video and I fell in love with her. Next, I watched all her videos and became a fan.

But on 11th June I was scrolling through her best friend Sarah’s Instagram profile and I saw someone’s comment about someone being shot. 

At first, I was confused. So I googled Christina Grimmie and click the news tab. And I saw the news that Christina Grimmie was shot by a gun.

I was devastated. The next few days I followed all the updates and one day I broke down and started sobbing. I cried and I asked my mom why God did this to her. She was such a good person. How could God do this?

We(me and my family) decided that we would go to church and do something to pray for Christina Grimmie’s soul’s peace. 

So on 19th June 2016, we lit a candle at church after asking permission from the Father and we stayed for the evening prayer that day and something happened. Since then I started believing in God for the first time. 

I listen to Christina’s songs sometimes and I also share them on my social media profiles. I also try to attend the yearly concerts that are conducted by the Christina Grimmie foundation(NGO for supporting gun violence victims) every June 10. 

Conclusion

I know this was personal and not related to mental health or consciousness or anti-casteism, but this could help you find peace of mind. 

Death is not real. When I remember Christina I remember her as a beautiful soul who is with God. We are immortal. We are souls on a journey of self-discovery. So we are never going to die. We are eternal.

This is because death that kills something forever is a concept that doesn’t make sense. How can I, who is the eternal soul, die? God is there!

Thank you for reading this blog post. Please check out her YouTube channel and comment- 

In your life, what made you feel like God is there?

Trying: The Secret Of The Universe

What is the secret of the universe that moves mountains, that accomplishes the impossible, that gives power to the good people, that makes truth win, that echoes through eternity the truth that cannot be denied?

I say it is in trying. Tenacity, trying, persistence, sticking with it.

This is the secret of the universe. It is in trying that we find success, even if we fail.

There are no shortcuts and even if there is, unless you try the eleventh time after failing 10 times, you will not succeed.

A few days ago I was very anxious of going outside my house. And I was laying in bed thinking why was I not able to study or do something consistently. And I laying in bed and saying to myself,”I am unable to go.”

But something happened. My mother asked me to get up and get ready to go. Even though I repeated my mantra “I am unable to go.” , my mother force me to get up by playing some music on the TV.

Now it is a smart TV and the controls are advanced. But my mother tried again and again to figure it out and what I saw in that moment was a mother’s unending love and tenacity for her child. She eventually figured it out and played some Santhali songs.

And I got up and we went outside as planned.

What I want to say through this anecdote is that love moves mountains. Tenacity, trying, persistence are the qualities in a person who can move mountains.

By moving mountains, I mean doing what seems impossible. It is truly inspiring.

This is why trying matters. Trying matters because it is an act of faith. You don’t know whether you will succeed or not. But you are giving your best to it despite all possibilities of failure.

Thank you for reading this blog post. I am grateful for you reading this post. Please answer this question in the comments section- On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you agree that “trying” is the secret of the universe?

What Will Make You The Happiest?

Although this insight comes from my experience, I believe that what will make you the happiest is being yourself.

Be unique, quirky, different, find your own truth, be yourself, don’t live a common life, don’t do what is conventional, always seek your truth, etc.

Let me tell you a story. When I started writing I had no idea that I would fall in love with the process of writing and the benefits that come with writing. It led me to discover my truth instead of accepting some fixed doctrine.

Sometimes I fall into the trap of following religion or capitalism or materialism or some philosophy or some other ideology which is always a trap of finding your truth.

For example, one day some three years ago approximately, I reading Bhagavad Gita As It Is. And reading it felt good but then after a month I joined ISKCON’s Satsang and started absorbing the ideology in my mind.

I am not saying that there’s no truth in spiritual teachings. What I am saying is that your truth is not an ideology, it’s your inner wisdom.

No amount of ideology can replace your inner wisdom, your truth.

So as you might infer, I stopped going to ISKCON satsangs for various reasons but one of them was the heavy use of Hindu mythology.

I still read the Gita from time to time but I don’t subscribe to one ideology.

Now you may think what does being yourself look like?

Although I am far from perfect but for me, I journal every day and I write in my blog sometimes. This helps me observe what I am thinking daily and stay on track with living my truth.

I believe in hope and all things real like honesty, love, faith, generosity, etc. And I have social anxiety and so sometimes I am unable to be generous to all people, but I try my best to have hope most of the time.

Overcoming social anxiety is something I have to work on but that’s just what comes with the package that is called me.

Being yourself is also full of struggles. Choosing commerce or arts instead of science stream is hard when no one in your family is from commerce or arts. Choosing to work in a corporate job is hard when all your family members and relatives work in the government.

But it comes with the knowledge that you are being you. You are living life from your inner wisdom.

Have you ever travelled solo to some new place? I did. When I was in class 10, age 14, I went to the city to eat in a restaurant alone skipping tuition classes. My parents were worried thinking about where I had gone. But I returned home safely.

Also, I had done stupid things all my life with friends or alone.

Something inside me guided me. And I believe the more we allow this guidance to guide us in new situations, the wiser we become.

This is what fuelled pioneers- freedom, adventure, and self-expression.

But you may think that spiritual teachings ask us to find these values in ourselves- to find God in yourself, in man.

I guess you could say if finding God is what inspires you, then that is your truth. If someone is inspired by adventure, then that is their truth.

Conclusion

Swami Vivekananda taught humanity to believe in oneself.

 And that’s why I say what will make you happiest is to be yourself, to live by your truth, to believe in yourself, and to be original and truly free.

Thank you for reading this blog post. Please share this blog post and answer this one question-

What is your truth that you believe in?

All Seeking Is A Bad Habit

In this blog post, I will write about why I think seeking anything is a bad habit and it is just that-a bad habit.

Some people call it bad karma, but I will just call it a bad habit.

When we ask ourselves what is the purpose of life, or what is the best way to make money today, we are essentially asking a very essential question that is important for our survival.

But if we ask ourselves why are we asking ourselves or others what the purpose of life is, then we will end up with a feeling, a deep desire or a fear after we have dug deep enough.

This feeling is supposed to be faced in my opinion. It is this fear that we need to dive into.

It is important to seek but this seeking is the cause of our suffering, in my opinion. Seeking money, fame, power, love, beauty, etc. is not bad but seeking them will create suffering.

When we seek we are acting out of habit. It is very difficult to not seek, even for a jobless person. Even a person who sleeps all day is seeking comfort. And when the comfort ends, he/she suffers.

That feeling that is before all questions, if dealt with and understood, can reduce our suffering and seeking.

I think that seeking God is also a cause of suffering. But if we don’t seek God we will not be free from suffering. And this is good suffering.

In my opinion, if we know the source of all seeking, then the seeking will automatically become more meaningful. And not knowing the source will trap us in a habitual pattern of seeking more things without satisfaction.

Conclusion

To conclude, I think we need to break from this bad habit of seeking and establish ourselves in something that is not related to seeking, maybe it is meditation, journaling or reading or writing or running or listening to piano music or any passion that we have.

Thank you for reading this blog post. Please share it with your friends and answer this question:

What do you do that is not related to seeking?

Faith Is Important

In this blog post, I will write about why faith is important in life.

So basically, I was of the school of thought that unless one experiences something one should not believe in it.

Whether it’s belief in God or belief in any idea or principle or anything that changes the way we live life, I used to think that we should try out new ideas and then prove to ourselves if it is true in our experience.

But I have always wondered what the most worthy goal in life is and what is the most real and meaningful cause to which I can fight and dedicate my life without feeling like I am wasting my time in life.

And from there started my pursuit of Truth.

What is the truth? What is the most real thing? What is worthy of hard work and personal struggle? What is worthy of fighting for? What is not empty? What is true?

At first in class 11, I went to get a better education to find this real thing. I thought if I can get into a good school I will be able to dedicate my life to it and find something worth fighting for. But questions started appearing in my mind.

I doubted my beliefs and asked myself,” I know that a good education is very important. But I don’t feel happy. I am suffering. And I have lost my sense of direction and hunger in life. Also, I don’t even know if this subject I am studying is meaningful. I want to be an engineer. But why? Why do I want to be an engineer? Why? I could do career counselling but will I really find the answer in other professions? I will feel empty even then, and I will probably ask the why question after I lose my passion for that profession.”

So I started losing interest in formal education. (I am in college now studying seriously.)

Then I started pursuing money in business by learning digital marketing. I started a blog, a youtube channel, a clothing e-commerce store, etc.

And I found success here and there but I still had the feeling of emptiness and meaninglessness that gradually entered my pursuit of money.

I remember I was doing an internship as an insurance agent for a big company and I did well in the interview and training. I was punctual all the time and very serious about success, but I gave up before the joining date because I could not see meaning in that job. (Little did I know that the meaning that I am searching for is in me and not outside in objects.)

So I started losing interest in money. (I am regardlessly going to start a business in the future)

Then I started feeling depressed.

But…

This is where things changed. I started believing in God. I surrendered and took action.

Life without God is empty and meaningless. Even things that are meaningful in the beginning seem meaningless if we don’t believe in something real.

If one believes in God, then a simple thing looks beautiful, one finds joy in the little things in life. But if one doesn’t believe in God, then all the wealth of the world can’t make one happy.

It started with me one day noticing that a girl and her mother at NIMHANS chanting a religious mantra one evening while chilling, and it hit me that I can also try that approach. I could try to have faith in God. Since nothing works, then let’s try this.

And I found that it is a source of immense love, power, strength and wisdom. It made suffering make sense and my life got better.

Then one day I was reading Swami Vivekananda’s quote-

“You cannot believe in God until you believe in yourself.” – Swami Vivekananda

And I started consciously strengthening my belief in myself.

What I am trying to say through this blog post is this-

Faith is important.

Without faith, one will find it very difficult to find the truth.

Personally, I still get doubts but I have surrendered my fears to God. I know that there is a reality that is truly real. I don’t need to hold on to objects of the mind or the world to feel secure. I just need to hold on to God.

The reason faith is important for finding the truth, is that faith and truth are not opposite words, but where truth cannot be reached by the mind, faith is the guide to truth.

Thank you for reading this blog post. If you liked this post then please comment, why is faith important to you?

What Is Hope To Me? (Warning: Sensitive Mental Health Story)

Hope to me is an angelic force that knows when I need answers most, when I need to learn a lesson, when I need to suffer, when I need to realise the truth about a situation and when the right time comes I need to surrender.

Story

I remember after my major psychotic episode in 2017, I was taken to the hospital. And I was so scared. I thought strange thoughts and was so scared.

When the doctor came, he asked something which I don’t remember. But I said, “I love you”.

The doctor smiled and said something like “You love me?”

Then I forgot what happened. My parents visited me and I was relieved.

Later the hospital referred me to NIMHANS, Bangalore.

I had no hope except my belief that there’s something higher in existence that is most true and divine.

So I said,” I love you” to the doctor. Not because he was beautiful or something else. But because I was scared. I was so scared of myself, so scared of my thoughts and I had no confidence in myself during my psychotic episode. I had to believe in that invisible higher truth/force which most probably is the expression of the words ”I love you”.

Love is, in my opinion, one of the closest expressions of truth.

Maybe I said it because I was scared. But that’s what I felt would keep me sane.

And I was referred to NIMHANS, where they treated me further and I made many new friends.

Slowly things got better.

And things are much better now. I haven’t had to go through psychosis since 2017 and I am well on my way to graduating college and finding work.

Conclusion

I think things are never bad indefinitely. Life gets better. There’s hope. And there’s family, friends, work, truth, etc.

As the famous proverb says- This Too Shall Pass. I too say “This Too Shall Pass”.

Thank you for reading this blog post on what is hope to me. Please comment, what is hope to you in a few words?