people Archives - Page 3 of 4 - Hope With Anirban

3 Qualities That Every Teacher Must Have

Daily writing prompt

What makes a teacher great?

When I was in school, I learnt from many teachers. But one teacher was my English private tutor who taught me outside school. And I love him as a teacher.

I think of him as an ideal teacher. The reasons are-

Equal treatment to all students
Justice is an important quality. A part of justice is to treat everyone equally even though everyone isn’t born with equal privileges.
My English tutor treated everyone in the class equally. He even scolded me for doing anything wrong. And I gladly accepted it and learnt from it because I respected him for his equal treatment.
Simplicity in explaining concepts
The concepts that he taught were simple to understand. In school, the school teacher taught them in a very confusing manner. But my English tutor made those ideas easy to digest and remember and apply.
Stress was given on application of the concepts. We did essay writing every week.
And we spoke in English despite India being a regional language dominated place.
I still remember and apply most of those concepts in my life.
Good behavior
He is a good person.
I think it’s important to understand that a teacher doesn’t just teach through his words but also his behavior,his personality and his character.
He was soft spoken but he could also raise his voice and protest. He was gentle but could change one’s mind with his words.
He was a leader in his own right.

I think these qualities make a great teacher.

A great teacher doesn’t have to be charismatic or an extrovert or a highly intelligent person. They simply have to be a good person and a master of their subject.

I remember we used to write essays as homework every week. And I thoroughly enjoyed that process. He taught us so many ways to think about essay writing. And I fell in love with English.

I think English is my strongest subject and I love English. All this is because of my English private tutor.

Why Is Education Important For Mental Health Fighters?

We all know the importance of education in life. But today I want to share with you my mental health perspective on education.

When I was in class 12, I had severe social anxiety going to school and private tutors’ classes. I couldn’t get out of my house to get in the car to go to school. I felt helpless.

I wanted to study and score good marks in Maths, Physics, Chemistry, Computer Science, Multimedia & Web Technology and English. But I couldn’t go to any of my private tutors’ classes.

Also I had many doubts which I couldn’t solve online. I needed a tutor. But I had social anxiety.

When the board exams arrived, I was unprepared but I somehow passed.

Post-high school I wanted to study science as a subject. I got into a private engineering college where social anxiety crippled me.

I didn’t appear for the exams and I failed. I lost one year.

One year later, I took admission in an arts college with Philosophy. But mid-year they didn’t let me pursue Philosophy because of my low Math marks.

I loved Philosophy and I was slowly overcoming my social anxiety. But life happened and I had to leave that college.

Then I took admission in an online college to pursue a Bachelor of Business Administration degree.

Throughout this journey, I lost my self-esteem. And some friends.

I also have bipolar disorder and social anxiety which made things more difficult.

But my point is education is important. Even in this mental health journey, you need to pursue and complete your education.

Most of the time people are forced to discontinue their education due to mental health issues.

Please complete your education, get a good job, start a business, and have a vision for yourself.

There a saying my sister told me about-

“What the mind doesn’t know, the eyes cannot see.”

I don’t know who said the above quote but I agree with them.

Study what you love but also keep in mind the job opportunities that could be available to you if you pursue a subject.

I don’t know how much sense this blog post makes to you. But please complete your education even if you have mental health issues.

There are online degrees, distance degrees, certifications, etc. And don’t give up.

Lastly I would like to list a few reason why education is important for mental health fighters-

Secure future that will help you get a job anytime in the future
Safety net in case you lose a job you will be able to get hired easily
Career growth will help you grow your salary which will be increasing the more qualified you are
Knowledge which will help you in your job or to start a business
Skills which will help in your job and business, plus you will be more valuable in the job market in general
Respect for yourself and from others because no one will underestimate you in your career
For getting paid for what you know
To prove to yourself that you can do it

For me, I am in my last semester of Bachelor of Business Administration degree at Amity University Online. And I will pursue my Master of Business Administration(MBA) in the future.

Please comment on why you think education is important for you?

Why Do Some People Act Selfishly?

We all know people who act selfishly. Do you ever wonder why they do it?

I will answer this question here.

I want to start with a story.

Story

I had a friend who lied a lot. He manipulated me and other people.

When I first met him, he seemed like a smart person. He had exceptional people skills.

We quickly became friends because we agreed on most things.

One day, after a few weeks of friendship, we were returning by metro train. And he started smoking behind a pillar in the metro station area.

I was not aware of the presence of policeofficers in the area. So I asked if I could smoke as well. He handed me the cigarette and I took a puff.

Then suddenly he hinted to me that a policeofficer was coming. I quickly dropped the cigarette into the drain near the pillar.

The policeofficer only saw me smoking because I was not hidden by the pillar.

He took me to the office and asked for a fine of Rs.250.

I gave him the money, and he let me go.

Then my friend and I went to catch the metro toward home.

A few weeks after that, we parted ways because of his lying.

When I look back now, I wonder why he lied so much and manipulated me and other people.

I wonder if he wanted me to go to jail over smoking a cigarette. I wonder if he started smoking intentionally.

He used to tell me to not be so simple. He would mock me, saying that people used me and manipulated me.

I will not jump to conclusions, but the thing that fascinates me is the reason why some people act so selfishly, in such evil, and so manipulative manners. It’s as if they are the messengers of the devil himself.

But then I catch myself judging, and I ask myself, “How have I ever done similar evil things? How have I lied, manipulated or done selfish and evil things? Why did I do them?”

I don’t know the answer as of now. But one of my goals is to know why people act in selfish ways.

The reason I wrote this blog post is to make you wonder- if evil exists, where does it exist? If people act selfishly, why do they do it?

My intuition tells me that evil comes from ourselves.

Conclusion

I think evil comes from thinking that you are separate from God. I don’t know what an “evil” minded person thinks or believes, but I know that when I do something bad, I believe that I am separate from God, that I am mortal, that I need to snatch my bread from others, I need to do whatever it takes to survive in this brutal world.

And that’s all nonsense. You are not separate from God. You are immortal.

Thank you for reading this blog post. Please comment on why you think some people act selfishly?

If you feel toxic masculinity is a problem, then read this.

When I used to return home from school, I had to walk 10 minutes from my school to catch the bus(main) which took me to my home bus stop.

But there was another bus stand near my school where I got other buses to take me to the next bus stop where I could get my (main) bus.

So I used to take a bus ride to the next bus stop where I could catch my (main) bus because I used to feel too tired for the 10-minute walk.

One day I got on the first bus and two of my male classmates were on that bus.

And they asked me something like where I was going. I said that I was only taking the bus to go to the next stop where I would catch the (main) bus.

As I said this they cracked a joke. I don’t remember the exact joke. But I remember that the joke was on me. They meant to say I was “half-man” for not walking 10 minutes and taking the first bus.

This was one of my many experiences with toxic masculinity.

There are other experiences like always having expectations to be emotionless among male friends, talking about sports too much or simply disrespecting girls by considering them to be less human or worse.

And I hate this.

I hate this because this is a violation of our deepest ethics.

Do you have a sister? Do you or did you have a mother? How would you feel or what would you do if someone disrespected or did worse to them?

But just to be clear about my above experience of the bus, I think these standards of masculinity are very toxic.

“If you cry, you are not a man”

“If you take a bus to avoid pain, you are not a man.”

“If you watch romance movies, you are not a man.”

“If you follow your wife’s advice, you are not a man.”

I am not saying that there’s something wrong with being gay. But the word “half-man” in the above experience meant more than just LGBTQ. It meant not walking for 10 minutes and having less stamina, less alpha, less muscular, less testosterone, less extroverted, less confident, less aggressive, less stoic, less power, less control, less military, and less manly.

How can not walking for 10 minutes make you look “half-man”? The truth is I am emotional, I am not very muscular or extroverted or aggressive or stoic or controlling or military. But does that mean I am less manly?

“We now understand that femininity and masculinity are not innate but are based upon social and cultural conditions. Anthropologist Margaret Mead addressed the issue of differences in temperament of males and females in Sex and Temperament in Three Primitive Societies (1935). This early study concluded that there are no necessary differences in traits or temperaments between the sexes. Observed differences in temperament between men and women are not a function of their biological differences. Rather, they result from differences in socialization and the cultural expectations held for each sex.”
https://www.encyclopedia.com/social-sciences/encyclopedias-almanacs-transcripts-and-maps/femininitymasculinity

Even if the above quote said that the differences between men and women “are” due to biological differences, I would still advocate against toxic masculinity. Because toxic masculinity is unethical.

I believe that I am not less of a man. I can love reading, cooking, skincare, spirituality, romance movies and books, Sims 4 and so on and still be a man.

I can love those things and still fall in love with a woman, start a family, take the kids to karate class, ride a bike, drive a car, be happy, make a million dollars, start a startup, go to Martin Garrix’s shows, get tattoos, etc. because it’s time start making the meanings of words like “man” and “woman” a little loose.

I am listening to “Don’t Look Down” by Martin Garrix and Usher. And I think this is perfect for ending this blog post because this song means freedom and community to me.

And freedom from toxic masculinity and a community where women and feminine energy are not looked down upon and disrespected is what is needed now.

Let’s make freedom and a community that is free of toxic masculinity a reality.

Trying: The Secret Of The Universe

What is the secret of the universe that moves mountains, that accomplishes the impossible, that gives power to the good people, that makes truth win, that echoes through eternity the truth that cannot be denied?

I say it is in trying. Tenacity, trying, persistence, sticking with it.

This is the secret of the universe. It is in trying that we find success, even if we fail.

There are no shortcuts and even if there is, unless you try the eleventh time after failing 10 times, you will not succeed.

A few days ago I was very anxious of going outside my house. And I was laying in bed thinking why was I not able to study or do something consistently. And I laying in bed and saying to myself,”I am unable to go.”

But something happened. My mother asked me to get up and get ready to go. Even though I repeated my mantra “I am unable to go.” , my mother force me to get up by playing some music on the TV.

Now it is a smart TV and the controls are advanced. But my mother tried again and again to figure it out and what I saw in that moment was a mother’s unending love and tenacity for her child. She eventually figured it out and played some Santhali songs.

And I got up and we went outside as planned.

What I want to say through this anecdote is that love moves mountains. Tenacity, trying, persistence are the qualities in a person who can move mountains.

By moving mountains, I mean doing what seems impossible. It is truly inspiring.

This is why trying matters. Trying matters because it is an act of faith. You don’t know whether you will succeed or not. But you are giving your best to it despite all possibilities of failure.

Thank you for reading this blog post. I am grateful for you reading this post. Please answer this question in the comments section- On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you agree that “trying” is the secret of the universe?

A New Perspective On Social Anxiety

I would like to write about my privilege.

Before that, I would like to tell you a story.

Once there was a boy with a mental illness. But people didn’t know that his condition was due to mental illness. The boy acted normally except he wouldn’t socialize much. Most times he wouldn’t socialize with people and would avoid people. He would also do rude facial expressions and sweat a lot. He would sometimes passively say rude things to avoid people.

So people thought he was too arrogant and self-centered.

But the boy asked for forgiveness from God in his heart every time he did something rude. He would say to himself in his mind,” I don’t want to be rude. But I can’t help it. I have social anxiety. Hope you understand.”

Only time will tell but I hope the boy finds peace and happiness in life and so do the people in his life.

Now let’s talk about my privilege.

I have been on both the receiving and the giving end of the spectrum of the above story.

I have been through social anxiety and I have seen people go through social anxiety. I have misjudged many people and I deeply regret it. And I have been through enough situations to understand people’s pain.

My privilege is that I have been through mental illness to be able to relate to the pain of others who are going through mental illness.

The reason I wanted to bring this perspective to your attention is that I think people suffer in silence even though other people see them as inflicting the suffering.

I think we need to have more empathy and actively seek to include people.

This verse from The Bible says it best-

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” – Luke 6:37

Also, I think we need to take it one step further by trying to forgive them even before they ask for forgiveness, and by thinking good thoughts for them.

This applies to both perspectives of the story.

Thank you for reading this blog post. If you liked this then like it and share it.

A Special Blog Post for Making You Feel Good

So for the past weeks I have been through a strange mental journey of coming to a temporary conclusion of the belief that-“Life is hard”.

You may say, “Well of course life is hard.”

I am not questioning this strong fact. But let’s ask ourselves a simple question for the sake of curiosity and truth- “Does believing in the fact that life is hard make us do work where we can give a 100% of ourselves?”

Before answering the question, I would like to give you a brief background information.

I am in the process of healing from my mental health problems. I have severe social anxiety and a little bipolar disorder. For instance, I find it hard to go out of my home on a daily basis because I am afraid of interacting with people. And I have problems forcing myself to do anything because most of the time my mood dictates every action I take. It makes me feel crazy to do anything if I must use willpower to force motivation into my soul. Mind over body does not work for me consistently.

However, I can best do the things I have a strong emotionally powerful vision for or things that I am passionate about. The problem is my curiosity questions all the powerful visions and I am not passionate about something in the Steve Jobs style.

“You have to have a lot of passion for what you do… because if you don’t, any rational person would give up.”
Steve Jobs

Now, story time.

So nowadays I am staying at home most of the time partly because of anxiety and partly because I switched to an online Bachelor of Business Administration degree(I know most of my friends have graduated but I don’t compare myself to others).

And sometimes I get two of my cousin brothers (10year old’s) visiting our home during at noon time. They basically watch anime and only ask me if a certain movie is on hotstar or Netflix. I just tell them, and they do everything else. They are experts little 10year old’s. Right??

So, one day they were watching an anime that I watched season one of years ago. The anime’s name is Tokyo Ghoul.

As I watched it with them, I got interested.

In my free time I watched all the seasons of Tokyo Ghoul, and I was particularly inspired by a character in this anime.

His name is Hide (spelled Hye-Day). He is not the hero. He is the hero Kaneki’s best friend. In fact, we don’t see much of him in the anime. But his role in the ending of the anime is significant.

He is the person who is selfless, sacrificing, a true leader.

I don’t want to spoil the anime for you. You can watch Tokyo Ghoul on Netflix.

But I just wonder, what makes a person so determined and selfless. It’s certainly not in believing that life is hard that a person does selfless acts.

One can occasionally do hard things in life, but it takes extraordinary reason to do hard things consistently and becoming successful at it and “Life is hard” is not an extraordinary reason.

So I just started experimenting with different perspectives. First, I used the belief “Life is hard” to motivate myself to study more. I studied consistently for a week for a short amount of time. It was consistent. I chose this belief from observing people in my life. It’s their belief.

But the process of forcing myself was mentally taxing and exhausting. I was not happy.

Secondly, I resumed to my normal way of being and I read fiction novels and listened to my favorite songs.

I realized from all this that an inspiring future expectation creates passion. But it is not easy to have an inspiring future expectation that is also realistic.

So I am going to my career counselor for an appointment to help me pinpoint my post-graduate plans for me.

But to answer the question- “Does believing in the fact that life is hard make us do work where we can give a 100% of ourselves?”

The answer is NO!

I know life is hard. I also know this- life is beautiful. Beauty mesmerizes us and a beautiful future inspires all of us.

And it is not possible to give 100% of yourself or myself to the work unless you or I secretly love that work.

Thank you for reading this blog post. Also, I am not a mental health or career expert. I am Anirban, I am just an average person. This was a blog post about my realizations and story. If you like this post, then share it and comment what you want to comment. See you next time!

Social Anxiety To Master Leader And Salesman

As I write about the solution, I would like to tell you that I tried to overcome my social anxiety for the last two days with great difficulty and I succeeded to go to my grandmaa’s house and also ask my father if I could accompany him at his office. But I failed to continue the streak of success. I will try again
Anirban Saren

The reason I am writing this blog post is to show a way in which life works to disguise your greatest gifts as your greatest weakness.

By the way I have not become a master leader and salesman but I want to. This is what I want and I am willing to do many difficult things for achieving it.

Why do I want it? Because I want to help people be free of suffering.

As you know I said before that I have social anxiety disorder. Then why this deep desire to be a leader and a salesman, things that are totally opposite of a person suffering from social anxiety?

Well to be honest I don’t know. You can ask many of my friends and they will tell you that I am not a people person. But my close friends will tell you an entirely different story. They will tell you that I love people. When among them I become an irresistibly social person.

So I don’t know why this is the case. But I think there is a shadow aspect of my personality that has been hidden due to my circumstances of life. Regardless of the reason let’s talk about the solution.

As I write about the solution, I would like to tell you that I tried to overcome my social anxiety for the last two days with great difficulty and I succeeded to go to my grandmaa’s house and also ask my father if I could accompany him at his office. But I failed to continue the streak of success. I will try again.

So back to what we are talking about here. What is the solution?

I used to think I can just use brute force to push through the fear. But it’s not easy.

I even read books on releasing emotions, self-esteem and stoic philosophy but life just doesn’t work like that.

But I have to tell you a solution that I will execute on, if not for me, for you.

My solution is to follow my passion. I will improve my self-expression skills through attending events, writing everyday for a set period of time, commit to self-expression,etc.

Yes that’s my solution because my passion is a stronger motivation than social anxiety.

So basically my deepest desire is to be a leader and salesman who helps people overcome suffering and I have no clue how to do it because I feel abnormal levels of fear before most social interactions. This is going to be one hell of a ride.

This could be my greatest gift. This could also be my greatest regret if I don’t try. Either way I will succeed or perish trying.

So thank you for reading this blog post. I could not post in the past two days because I was busy applying some of my own ideas to overcome social anxiety. See you tomorrow.

About “Perfect” Social Media Photos

The reason I am writing this is to show you a unique perspective on comparing yourself with other people.

Social media is full of the perfect moments in the lives of us but sometimes when you are down in the drain these perfect moments seldom empower you.

Instead they make you feel like a failure.

Comparing myself with my friends and college mates who have girlfriends/boyfriends, perfect slim bodies, and happiness makes me feel like I am missing out on life.

And if you feel like same way when you scroll your social media feed, you are not alone.

But we know how it goes. They probably feel as empty inside as me or maybe more. But the truth is my social life is not what I want it to be.

And I am not blaming anyone.

Ok ok I am blaming my past. But I am learning to see past these superficial comparisons.

So what is the solution?

I noticed that as soon as I focus on what I love, that is self-expression, I feel good about myself. I am even planning to go all in.

As soon as I write I feel like I am doing something unique to me. I am sharing my unique life story and gifts to the world.

I don’t know what the phd psychologist will recommend as a solution but this one solution, doing your passion works for me.

I follow a guy whose name is Grant Cardone, New York Times best-selling author and the founder of the 10X Rule and I love his ideas. One of his ideas is to swim in the kool-aid than just drinking it. It means to immerse yourself in an activity or learn about something so much that you forget everything else and fully commit to it in order to be a master in it.

In Grant’s own life he is busy all the time and tells his viewer that if you want to meet the devil, have blank space in your calendar. It is a good example for comparing the negative thoughts and comparisons to the devil in your head.

So I hope you liked this little post and see you every Monday. I say Monday but I am posting a new blog post everyday and it gets old when I say “see you every Monday”. So see you tomorrow!