Tag: success

I finally accepted I am not a failure

The author writes about how his preconception that he was a failure because he failed in school was wrong. It wasn’t his failure to begin with, it was society’s failure.

When I was in class 11 I had failed one year and I was detained in the same class.

And I had been carrying the burden on my shoulders that I was a failure.

I had never introspected if it was indeed true that I had failed.

Last night I was journaling and I realized that it was not my failure.

But it was someone else’s failure.

It was society’s failure.

I was trying my best to survive but it was society who had failed me.

I was trying out a socratic method of introspection with the guidance of Claude AI.

And it turned out that I was studying physics, chemistry, computer science and maths because my parents told me to.

Not because I wanted to.

I felt as if I was learning something I found strange. 

I felt stupid and as if it was a waste of my time.

I felt sad and stressed. I felt tired of all the traveling to school, coaching classes, and tutors. 

And yet I didn’t understand those subjects.

I felt, “If the world is so difficult, I don’t want to live in a difficult world.”

I couldn’t sit down to study.

I played videogames 16 hours a day from morning till midnight. 

I slept less, ate irregularly and didn’t study.

I avoided everything.

And I was also reading so many self-help books to help me figure out what was wrong with me.

My psychologists said that nothing was wrong with me. But I believed something was wrong with me.

I wasn’t having fun while avoiding life, I was trying my best to cope with the sadness and pain and the stress.

And then when I failed I finally felt free. 

But this feeling of freedom and relief was short-lived.

I was again back to repeating the year in another school where I took admission.

And somehow I passed high school with the same subjects.

And for a few months I studied engineering at a private university but I dropped out. 

And again I got the feeling of relief and freedom.

This time I took a Bachelor of Arts (honours) in philosophy course in college.

But due to some technical problems I had to change my subject to English and I had to drop out.

Then I took a bachelor of business administration course from my last online college. 

And I studied it and graduated and took MBA and graduated that too.

But all this while I kept thinking that “I am a failure”.

And boy I couldn’t be so wrong.

I thought that since class 11 was something I experienced and I failed it, I am the failure.

But the truth is it was my parents’ and society’s expectations that made me take physics, chemistry, computer science, maths as subjects. 

And if I “failed” that and felt relief, it wasn’t my failure really, it was their failure.

I was never a failure.

I gave my best and I did my best to cope with the stress and sadness.

I read self-help books to find the solution.

But I couldn’t find any.

So it was never my failure.

I was living in someone else’s design of a life.

It wasn’t mine to begin with.

And I also realized that even right now I am living in someone else’s design of my life.

I am living in fear of not getting a job, fear of never making it, fear of not having a comparable income to others.

I am trying to get a data analytics job but all I want to do is write and read and experience the world and share it with you.

I guess I need to work on this aspect now before it’s too late.

But yeah I was never a failure, it wasn’t my failure.

I am not a failure.

Thanks for reading this line! It means a lot.

How I Turned My Failure Into Success

The author writes about how he failed in high school and still managed to complete his MBA years later in spite of other people’s negative remarks.

When I was in class 11 in high school, I failed and was detained for one year.

I was asked to change schools and study in class 11 again.

It was a failure for me. And I felt very bad about myself at that time.

I felt like I was not enough and that I was somehow flawed and not normal.

I remember a few remarks from my relatives about me failing one year and it stuck with me.

Whenever I wanted to feel good about myself, those remarks about failing one year would haunt me.

“How can I be a successful person knowing that I failed a test in class 11?”

“I am a failure because I failed in my studies.”

All kinds of negative self-talk started in my mind since then.

But fast forward 10 years, I have completed my MBA in Data Science. 

I have completed a post-graduate degree.

And I am proud of myself. 

I have persisted and not given up.

I have worked and I have achieved my version of success no matter the size.

My failure in class 11 set me up for success by making me more ambitious. 

After I failed in class 11 I wanted to show my relatives that I can do much bigger things. 

If they want to make me a black sheep of the family, I’ll show that I can be different in a great way.

That I can be different from them by getting an MBA degree and someday starting my own business.

And I know the importance of forgiveness and that it’s normal for those remarks by relatives. 

I do forgive them for what they said, and I also know that the fire inside me for greater dreams has been lit up and there’s no stopping now.

I am grateful for my failure in class 11 and my relatives’ remarks. Because they were fuel for my successes.

Thank you for reading this line! It means a lot.

If you feel like a failure, read this…

The author writes about himself being a failure all his life and how he found meaning and purpose in spite of that.

I think I’ve been a black sheep of my family. I’ve been failing at everything I attempted to do for the entire 26 years of my life. 

But I think I’ll be successful in my life.

When I was in class 11 at my school, I failed a year. And I was detained and I had to repeat a year.

And I identified myself with a failure. And it can get demoralizing sometimes but it taught me a lesson.

The lesson was “No matter what happens, failure is a stepping stone for success. It’s not the end of the world.”

Even after failing multiple times, if you can keep going for a lofty goal in life, you’ll be successful. 

In fact if you’re working hard to succeed even after failing multiple times, you’re a “successful person” in your own right.

When I was studying for my undergraduate degree, I wanted to start a career in copywriting.

I even bought a course after asking money from my parents.

And I ended up leaving the course half-way because I found it was very difficult for me.

And that was also a failure. 

But it also taught me the same lesson- to keep moving forward.

I know I don’t do well in classroom environments when a teacher teaches me a fixed curriculum.

I like to learn on my own. And I thrive in that way.

And that way I’ve completed my MBA in Data Science(online mode), I’ve completed many small courses.

I’ve started a business in 2020 and failed(which is a win because I learnt many business lessons).

I’ve never stopped believing in myself. And every day is a battle I still continue to fight. 

And as I said if a person continues to work hard in spite of failing multiple times, they’re a “successful person” in their own right. 

Life isn’t the same all the time. It changes. You change. 

And nothing lasts forever. “This too shall pass” as they say.

So success is just around the corner even if it’s too small to notice.

But it’s by being grateful for those small successes that we learn to change our identities from a “failure” to a “success”.

Thank you for reading this line. It means a lot to me.