The author reflects on personal struggles with anger and its impact on self-esteem and mental health. They share experiences of losing control, including violent outbursts, and highlight the importance of managing anger through internal and external strategies. Seeking therapy is emphasized as a valuable resource for better emotional health.
I get angry sometimes. And this affects my self-esteem and peace of mind. It causes regret in me.
My Brief Story
Although I no longer get angry to the extent of becoming violent. But I sometimes struggle to control my anger even today.
But I have improved my self-control a lot over the years.
I remember one day I got so angry that I tore my own clothes in an attempt to run towards the other person. Luckily the neutral people stopped me.
And if that’s not enough of hell, I take medication for my bipolar affective disorder(BPAD) even today.
I am getting better. But that’s some of my story of my struggles with my anger.
Ways To Control Your Anger
In this blog post I will write about 3 internal ways and 3 external ways to control your anger.
Internal ways-
- Realizing that anger has consequences. It affects your self-esteem. And it can lead to violence and even death of someone.
- Practice gratitude for the things you already have.
- Perform any form of introspection daily like journaling, meditation, realizing that your expectations of the other persons are just going to make you more unhappy because you can’t change others but only yourself, etc.
External ways-
- AVOID them- Stay away from/avoid the other persons, events or thoughts that trigger your anger for some time. This is something you can do immediately.
- Let your anger go- Try to identify what you feel in the angry moments. Observe your emotions and let it go.
I read back in 2017 called “The Sedona Method: Your Key to Lasting Happiness, Success, Peace and Emotional Well-Being” by Hale Dwoskin.
In that book it taught 5 questions to ask yourself consecutively to release your emotions quickly-
- What do I feel?(example-”Anger”/”sad”/”peaceful”…)
- Could I allow myself to welcome this feeling?(example-”yes”)
- Could I let it go?(example-”yes”)
- Would I let it go?(example-”yes”)
- When?(ideally “now” but if you are not ready say “later” and then repeat these questions to yourself until you can say “now” and release these emotions. Repeat these questions as many times as your feel comfortable asking.)
- You can answer “no” or “later” or whatever you want. Remember these questions are for yourself to ask yourself internally. (I practice them till date and these questions saved me from many difficult situations.)
- See a psychotherapist. Maybe you are unable to control your anger because something needs to change in your life. Maybe you are unable to change your life yourself because you have your own biases. So go to a therapist. They might be able to help.
There’s no shame in going to a therapist because they are like doctors. You go to a doctor when you get a fever in your body. Likewise you go to a psychiatrist, psychologist or a psychotherapist when you have a “fever” or illness in your mind.
Conclusion
As I said earlier in this blog post that “I get angry sometimes. And this affects my self-esteem and peace of mind. It causes regret in me. ”.
This may not be entirely true for you or other people but regardless of that anger does more damage to your and other people’s lives than you can imagine.
Worst of all it can lead to violence, injury, death, etc. So please be careful because prevention is better than cure. Regret is one of the worst things in life. Forgiveness is the greatest religion.
Please like, share and comment what you think about this blog post.
