Tag: wanting

I wish

I wish I had the courage to tell her

That I think about her

That I care for her

That I don’t want to lose her

–

I wish I had the intelligence to understand her

To feel her pain

To let her make mistakes but

To let me feel her pain

–

I wish I was closer to her

To protect her

To be by her side

Even when she didn’t want me

–

I wish I could be someone she prefers

Someone she thinks is handsome

And be hot and cool

And everything she adores

–

I wish I could tell her

That I love her

That I just want her soul

That I just want to be there for her.

–

Anirban Saren

I wish I could study and work more every day

What do you wish you could do more every day?

Study and Work

I wish I could study and work more every day.

I study and work on projects sometimes related to my MBA Data Science degree.

But I get tired and get mood swings.

I bet everyone gets these mood swings when sitting down to study.

But they study regardless of their mood.

I need to work on my “study regardless of their mood” aspect.

Relation to mental health

My bipolar disorder is also responsible for my difficulties in studying long hours.

It’s not like I don’t want to study and work. It’s just that I can’t.

Writing helps me tremendously to cope with the frustration of being unable to study.

But I guess I need to draw a line between what I can do and what I expect myself to achieve.

Satisfaction

  1. What I can do is – study for 2 hours.
    What I expect myself to achieve is – study 4-5 hours.
  2. What I can do is – go out with family, friends, relatives, etc. and sometimes alone to the barber’s saloon.
    What I expect myself to achieve is –
    • to travel from my town to the city by bus, or
    • take a public transportation facility,
    • to talk to strangers,
    • to make friends,
    • to go to regular/offline university, etc.
  3. What I can do is – be satisfied and work hard for uplifting genuine values like honesty, integrity, generosity, etc.
    What I expect myself to achieve is – to achieve external success that has no meaning expect earning more money.

What I can do and what I expect myself to do are two different things. They are not the same things.

Conclusion

Sure I can aim to study more but I need to be satisfied with what I have.

I can try to study and work for 3 hours next time. Or may 2.5 hours.

Because my circumstances are different.

Wanting more isn’t always necessary because we don’t need to compare ourselves with others.

I need to take it slow.

I’m glad you’re reading this line. Thanks a lot!