Month: March 2025

How to be patient?

So, in 2015, therapy felt pointless for this person until they met Dr. Prasanta Kumar Roy in 2017, who really understood them and helped them heal from BPAD. They emphasize faith and patience in overcoming suffering, suggesting that finding hope and keeping busy is key to coping with tough times.

When I was going to therapy in 2015, I was just told to do Cognitive Behavioral Therapy(CBT) homework.

The problem wasn’t that I won’t do it. The problem was I didn’t feel like doing it.

I didn’t have a problem with CBT but I had a problem with them not fixing my emotional states.

My Favorite Psychologist

It’s only in 2017 when I found a great psychologist who doesn’t even charge any fees if one goes through the public healthcare system of standing in the queue for 2 hours.

It was then that I truly got healed from my BPAD.

He is Dr. Prasanta Kumar Roy and he sits in Kolkata’s SSKM hospital.

He made me feel for the first time that a psychologist understood me.

But that was before 4-5 years of changing many psychologists. And years of suffering inflicted by my own mind.

Questions & Answers

Why do we suffer so much? How to be patient so that the suffering ends one day? How to wait till that day?

I think we suffer because we don’t have faith.

Plain and simple. We need to have faith in something bigger than us.

And without God’s blessings you can’t have so much patience and humility.

I’m not asking you to become a believer from an atheist. You could believe in a role model/good person also. But you must feel hope.

How to be patient?

I guess I started healing the day I started chanting the Hare Krishna mantra internally in my mind in 2017.

That gave me mental strength to hold on and keep doing what I have to do.

So you do need faith and belief and need to bow down to the divine to have so much patience.

How to wait till that day?

So basically I don’t feel like I’m waiting because I just do what I have with me.

“If I can’t walk, I’ll crawl.”

If I can’t go to classes, I’ll take online classes.

If I can’t go to grocery shopping, I’ll at least learn to cook.

If I can’t do anything, paralyzed by fear. Then I will speak to my mom, and she tells me to have faith.

Conclusion

I know I’m not a psychologist but I hope this blog post added value to your life.

Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: I(Anirban Saren) am not a licensed medical professional, psychiatrist or a psychologist and I’m not providing any medical advice. I’m writing my own opinions. Please consult a professional psychiatrist, psychologist before following this advice.

Writing, music, and my mom

What strategies do you use to cope with negative feelings?

I write poems and listen to sad songs(when I’m sad) to cope with negative feelings.

Honesty my repository of activities to do when feeling negative feelings is pretty small.

When I say negative feelings, I mean anger, hopelessness, sadness, apathy, fear, shame, etc.

Emotions

Here’s what I do when I feel these emotions –

Anger–

First I remember the words of Sri Ramakrishna Paramahansa who said ” যে সয় সে রয়, যে না সয় তার নাশ হয়।” It means in English,”He who tolerates, is able to withstand, He who does not tolerate, gets destroyed.”

Then I stay away from the person I am angry with.

Then I start listening to sad songs and writing.

Hopelessness–

When I feel hopeless, my mother is my savior. She talks to me all the time.

My mother (মা), maa, is my best friend.

Writing doesn’t help in this department. Nor does sad songs.

Sadness–

I listen to sad songs. I guess I write only poems when I feel sad.

Apathy–

Apathy means not feeling like doing anything or “indifference”.

In these case, I ask myself,”What am I interested in learning/doing now?”

Usually it’s some computer skills unrelated to my academic studies.

But it gets me out of my negative feelings.

Fear–

I call my mom because I have no friends.

No sad songs or writing helps though.

Shame–

Shame, self-hatred, etc. are horrible feelings which I feel when visiting some of my relatives’ places.

It’s truly horrible.

They make me feel like I better hide under a rock and disappear for the next 20 years.

They compare me to my cousins and uncles.

They say things that has utter insensitivity to my mental health issues. They don’t understand and they don’t want to understand mental illnesses. Period.

I don’t visit them much. That’s how I cope with shame.

Conclusion

So that’s a lot of combinations of- writing,music and my mom.

I hope I never outgrow these three gifts of my life. May I always love writing, music and my mom (মা).

Well this script is Bengali, our local Indian language in Kolkata, India.

Thanks for reading!

Image credit – https://unsplash.com/photos/silhouette-photo-of-woman-and-girl-on-shoreline-y1wVavuxZtE?utm_content=creditShareLink&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=unsplash

when your mind rebels against you -An Original Poem

When your mind rebels against you
Because it wants to tell you
A message
A guidance that might change your life.

The age-old message is-
“Do what you love
Follow your heart
Break the chains and be yourself.”

At first, it’s scary
But it’s possible
That you could take a leap of faith
And do what you are passionate about.

Maybe you will look like a failure
Maybe you will not succeed
Or maybe you could become your true self
And show others the light at the end of the tunnel.

Because everybody wants to be free
But nobody wants to let go of their safety net
Nobody want to give up their illusion of “life”
Nobody wants to ignore people’s opinions.

These messages are rare
Not many people have such rebellious minds
Follow your heart
And be free.

No Hell No Heaven – An Original Poem

There’s no hell or heaven
Outside yourself
In the afterlife
Nor in other people’s mentalities.

Hell is when don’t understand the reality
Heaven is when you seek to see what they see
Hell is ignore-ance
Heaven is acceptance and empathy.

People fight outside my house
But they’re not other than me
They are just like my mother, my father, my friends
I choose to not ignore and feel their place of pain.

Pain is real, pain is there
People don’t go to hell
We, You, I am already in hell
Trying to make it heaven piece by piece, brick by brick.

Next time when you pray to your God, say
“I don’t want heaven nor hell.
I just want to see the truth, your face
No matter how ugly or beautiful you might be.”

-Anirban Saren

Just let go of all regrets and desires and be grateful

Write a letter to your 100-year-old self.

Hi 100-year-old-Anirban,

I am 25 now and you’re 75 years older than me!!! Can you imagine that?

You will probably read this letter 75years later. But it’s unbelievable! Really!!

I mean I am lucky to be 25 and alive. I bet you are one 7th heaven because you made it to the 100th year marks.

You get to be even more grateful than me because you have more experiences.

But do you remember what this blog is about? If not, then let me remind you dear Sir.

This blog is about hope and making mistakes to stop regret.

And so the title says “Just let go of all regrets and desires and be grateful”.

I have seen many old people who were unhappy before going to heaven.

I want to remind you to let go of that unhappiness, let go of your regrets, your unfulfilled desires.

And I want you to be satisfied and happy and think about God and be loving towards everyone in this universe.

I bet you married your crush, you became a millionaire by 50 and you raised great children.

But you are unhappy because you forget things, you feel lonely, people leave, friends don’t call you, and on and on. And all this diabetes and other ailments are of course frustrating for you.

But I still hope that you are alive to read this letter from your 25 year old self.

Because I am still grateful to God for what I already have.

I have a great family, an intelligent mind, writing skills, will get an MBA degree soon, and most importantly I am satisfied and happy. And grateful.

And you probably had started a startup, done your PhD, married her(you know who I am talking about 😉), and travelled all around the world… You should definitely be more grateful than me.

But what I mean to say,”We arrive in life with nothing, we leave with nothing “, “Nothing is ours”, and “You are already naked” as said by Steve Jobs of Apple.  So be grateful for whatever you have.

I don’t know what you’ve been through because I’m only 25 and you’re 100. But I know you can do it. You can find satisfaction inside yourself. And be happy.

Regards,

Anirban

So I still can’t believe that I’m writing to my 100-year-old self!!! Wow!!!

And to all my readers, be grateful!!! Please be grateful!!!😊

Image credit – https://unsplash.com/photos/person-in-white-long-sleeve-shirt-and-black-pants-VsbdJGrjmp8?utm_content=creditShareLink&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=unsplash

“You were finding CA Foundation difficult?” A mental health perspective

The author recounts a challenging experience with a coaching center regarding the CA Foundation exam, highlighting their struggles with bipolar disorder and social anxiety. They emphasize the importance of gratitude for personal strengths and mental health, recognizing that everyone’s journey is different and that worth isn’t solely defined by academic success.

A few months ago I got a phone call from a popular coaching center in India.

The person on the other side asked if I had taken the CA Foundation exam. She also asked other questions that were somehow rude.

So she asked-

  1. “Have you taken the CA Foundation exam?” I had taken admission in their CA Foundation batch for a few months despite finding it difficult to cope with the demands of its preparation. And yes I find it demanding because I had BPAD and Social Anxiety and I am not special. I answered her with a “No.”
  2. “Why not?” was her next question. I answered “I have dropped out of it.”
  3. “Why?” was her yet another question. I answered “I was finding it difficult.”
  4. “You were finding CA Foundation difficult??” I could hear her disgust and confusion through the phone call. I kindly hung up.

The above is what happened a few months ago.

For those who don’t know,CA exams or the Chartered Accountancy exams, being one of the most difficult exams in India and the world, are divided into 3 exams, foundation, intermediate and finals. After qualifying in all of them, you become a Chartered Accountant which is one of the highest and most powerful positions in accounting and finance. And most commerce students in India aim for being a CA. It takes on average about 5-7 years to become a CA(might be less due to recent changes).

So I wanted to give this a shot. But my bipolar affective disorder and anxiety shot through the roof and stress came. I was weak in academics and I found CA studies difficult. But mostly because of my inability to study for more than a few hours daily.

Well after writing this what I want to tell you is-

Be grateful for what you have.

Maybe you are struggling with mental health issues. Maybe you can’t do some things because your mind causes problems. Maybe you have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or Depression or Anxiety or you struggle with severely negative thoughts.

You are not alone.

Some people are lucky to have everything and be normal.

Some people are lucky to have a healthy mind, a healthy body, a great family, and a great partner.

And then in my case, some people are lucky to be able to focus, study long hours, go to coaching classes, attend classes online, ask doubts without feeling sick in the stomach, etc.

Some people forget to be grateful  about these things.

Even I take my family, my life, my friends, my intellect, my writing skills, my creativity, my technical savviness,etc. for granted sometimes.

So be grateful for what you have even if it looks less in quantity than other peoples’ shares.

Trust me when I say, “God has better plans for you than you can even imagine, plans that you don’t yet see.”

So when the person on the call asked me “You were finding CA Foundation difficult?”, I didn’t want to say anything because she won’t understand.

Unless one goes through the same painful circumstances, one won’t understand you.

I don’t blame anyone. I am a good and worthwhile person and I know my worth.

Maybe I am not the best at something. Maybe I am not super hardworking.

Maybe I can’t study for 7 hours daily for CA Foundation. Maybe I can’t deal with the stress that others find quite manageable. Maybe I can’t score 90% marks in most exams.

But I have a good heart. I am scoring 70-75%. I am studying for 2 hours daily.

And personally I am fighting every day. I am fighting nature, I am fighting my BPAD and social anxiety. I am slowly moving forward.

I am not answerable to anyone about why I am not scoring 90%. Or why I am not a “successful” person.

Thank you for reading!

Learning maths basics in my free time

What is the last thing you learned?

Well, I was studying for my MBA Data Science degree and I guess I am lucky in a way because I just have to explain mathematics concepts and not actually do much complex problem solving.

But I was just curious about revising some of the basics about linear equations and statistics.

And I guess I am unlucky in the sense that I wish I could understand mathematics more deeply like if I was studying a masters in science degree.

I guess I will study more mathematics in my free time.

Do I have the Khan academy app on my phone? No I have it on my PC’s browser.

Anyways I guess I was feeling a little depressed for a few days, but now I am back to studying for my MBA.

I had my 3rd semester exams a few days ago. It went well.

Thought I would just answer this daily prompt. Thanks for reading!

Dear friend, does God exist?

Dear friend,

God exists.

God is not some entity or idea.

God is inside you.

God is inside your friends and enemies.

God is inside a stranger.

God is empathy.

God is sympathy.

God is the truth.

God is your friend.

God is.

God is when you hold on to nothing anymore.

God is when you let go of your expectations.

God is when you love yourself.

God is when you accept yourself as you are.

God is when you remember to even once chant his name before giving up. And he shows his miracle.

God is when you prioritise your well being before “success”.

God is your best friend.

God is there.

God is there with you always.

God exists. Believe.

-Your friend