therapy Archives - Hope With Anirban

Anger: How To Be Free From It

Anger is one of the most destructive emotions. The author writes about his experiences with anger and shares spiritual texts to explain it.

I think anger is one of the most destructive emotions.

Story Time: My Experiences With Anger

When I was in my teenage years, I used to get very angry at my family members.

The reason I was angry was because I blamed them for everything.

And although now I realize that I was wrong, in those days I was blinded by my immaturity.

I had so many expectations from my parents that if they didn’t support me, I’d get angry.

I also expected a lot from myself.

When I was in class 11, I was in the science stream and I hated science. Physics, Chemistry, and Math didn’t get inside my head.

I really didn’t understand them partly because I had too many expectations from my teachers as well.

I remember I used to obsess over “Why can’t I study?” because I couldn’t sit down to study.

In those days there was no ChatGPT to counsel me for free.

I was seeing a therapist, but I had high expectations from them as well, and I changed my therapist multiple times.

What The Bhagavad Gita Has To Say

In the Bhagavad Gita it is very nicely written-

Chapter 2 verse 62-

“Thinking of objects, attachment to them is formed in a man. From attachment longing, and from longing anger grows.”

Chapter 2 verse 63-

“From anger comes delusion, and from delusion loss of memory. From loss of memory comes the ruin of discrimination, and from the ruin of discrimination he perishes.”

So I have experienced this first hand to some extent and I believe anyone who feels anger also experiences these conditions first hand.

So I really believe anger is one of the most destructive emotions of all.

Techniques to deal with anger

And throughout these years through psychological counselling I have learnt a few techniques like-

Box breathing technique
5-4-3-2-1 technique
JPMR technique
The Socratic Method of Inquiry
Journaling

And I think these techniques do help in reducing my anger.

Conclusion

But the root cause of anger should also be fixed by journaling in a diary daily and going for psychological counselling.

It’s the thought process that needs to be examined for us to release us from the shackles of anger.

So yeah anger is one of the most destructive emotions and there are ways to be free from it.

Thank you for reading this line! It means a lot.

The Opening Sentence of My Autobiography

This author explains with a story why “This is the story of a lucky man…” is the most appropriate opening for his autobiography.

If I ever write an autobiography I would begin it with “This is the story of a lucky man…”.

Why?

Because it is the only opening sentence that could make sense.

I could begin with “The secret to success is hard work…” or “Don’t give up ever…”, but I think that “This is the story of a lucky man” is the most appropriate one.

Let me explain why.

When I was in class 11 in school, I couldn’t study. I simply couldn’t sit down and feel like studying.

I’d play video games from morning till midnight daily because I couldn’t study and this was my way to escape my boredom.

I was going to therapy but I kept changing therapists because I wasn’t satisfied with their counselling.

Four years later I started taking a degree course in Bachelor of Business Administration and I scored 70% in the aggregate results.

I was able to study sometimes and I believe it was due to the medication that my psychiatrist had given me.

And that’s how I also completed my Master of Business Administration in Data Science last year.

When I was in class 11 I didn’t know what I didn’t know.

I was lost and I didn’t realize it.

I was lucky to have found good psychiatrists and therapists.

Without them I’d still be helpless.

But it is not psychology, psychiatry or self-help that helped me.

It was luck.

I didn’t know that if I took medicine I’d be able to study.

But the events in my life forced me to take medicines.

I wasn’t voluntarily doing any of it. The universe helped me do it.

It’s as if the universe had chosen me to suffer and to heal my own suffering.

And I learnt a lot of lessons that way.

Actually none of us can take responsibility for our successes because none of us can explain the sheer amount of luck that’s involved in these processes.

So yeah I really think I would begin my autobiography with “This is the story of a lucky man…”.

Thank you for reading this line. It means a lot to me.

Therapy is one positive change that I made in my life

Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

I’ve been going to the psychologist for psychotherapy for the past 10 years.

And I think it is the most positive change I ever made in my life.

I learnt how to accept myself as I am.

I learn to control my anger to some extent till now.

I learnt how to make good decisions.

I learnt how to be realistic.

I learnt the value of education.

I learnt how to manage my time.

I learnt how to prioritise my own happiness.

I learnt to believe in myself.

Although I still make errors and mistakes. But I’m learning from psychotherapy regularly.

Although it’s nothing to be proud of because you’re supposed to stop therapy when you can deal with your problems alone.

My problems have persisted. And I’m working on it.

I’m glad you read this line. Thanks a lot!

So, in 2015, therapy felt pointless for this person until they met Dr. Prasanta Kumar Roy in 2017, who really understood them and helped them heal from BPAD. They emphasize faith and patience in overcoming suffering, suggesting that finding hope and keeping busy is key to coping with tough times.

When I was going to therapy in 2015, I was just told to do Cognitive Behavioral Therapy(CBT) homework.

The problem wasn’t that I won’t do it. The problem was I didn’t feel like doing it.

I didn’t have a problem with CBT but I had a problem with them not fixing my emotional states.

My Favorite Psychologist

It’s only in 2017 when I found a great psychologist who doesn’t even charge any fees if one goes through the public healthcare system of standing in the queue for 2 hours.

It was then that I truly got healed from my BPAD.

He is Dr. Prasanta Kumar Roy and he sits in Kolkata’s SSKM hospital.

He made me feel for the first time that a psychologist understood me.

But that was before 4-5 years of changing many psychologists. And years of suffering inflicted by my own mind.

Questions & Answers

Why do we suffer so much? How to be patient so that the suffering ends one day? How to wait till that day?

I think we suffer because we don’t have faith.

Plain and simple. We need to have faith in something bigger than us.

And without God’s blessings you can’t have so much patience and humility.

I’m not asking you to become a believer from an atheist. You could believe in a role model/good person also. But you must feel hope.

How to be patient?

I guess I started healing the day I started chanting the Hare Krishna mantra internally in my mind in 2017.

That gave me mental strength to hold on and keep doing what I have to do.

So you do need faith and belief and need to bow down to the divine to have so much patience.

How to wait till that day?

So basically I don’t feel like I’m waiting because I just do what I have with me.

“If I can’t walk, I’ll crawl.”

If I can’t go to classes, I’ll take online classes.

If I can’t go to grocery shopping, I’ll at least learn to cook.

If I can’t do anything, paralyzed by fear. Then I will speak to my mom, and she tells me to have faith.

Conclusion

I know I’m not a psychologist but I hope this blog post added value to your life.

Thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: I(Anirban Saren) am not a licensed medical professional, psychiatrist or a psychologist and I’m not providing any medical advice. I’m writing my own opinions. Please consult a professional psychiatrist, psychologist before following this advice.

My Realizations on Satisfaction part 1

The post discusses the struggle between desiring success and the need for satisfaction, particularly for individuals dealing with mental health issues. It highlights how trauma can hinder achievement, affecting self-esteem and confidence. The author encourages mental health fighters to forgive themselves for not meeting their success expectations, emphasizing understanding and compassion.

Everybody knows that they should be satisfied with what they have.

And yet they (including me) seek more success and more achievements.

And the funny thing is they can’t suppress their desire for success by telling themselves to be satisfied. No one can.

If you want success and you are not satisfied, don’t force yourself to be satisfied.

But sometimes, especially in the case of mental health fighters, one cannot fulfill all of their desires of success because of their traumatic mental illness related experiences and the time it takes to heal through medicines and counseling.

It’s like a handicap situation.

The hardships that people with mental illnesses go through leave them in a situation from where it’s difficult to achieve success with the same energy and force as before the mental illness.

Their self-esteem is damaged. Their self-confidence is damaged. Plus there are the symptoms of their specific mental illnesses.

And it takes a lot to have just a little success let alone more success.

So mental health fighters need to forgive themselves if they can’t do certain things or if they can’t perform at the level that’s required for achieving their expectations of success.

That’s what I wanted to write in this blog post.

Thank you for reading this blog post. And please comment if you struggled with mental illness and how you feel about success and satisfaction?