Author: Anirban Saren

I'm a blogger. I have an MBA in Data Science and I like reading books, writing blog posts, playing the guitar, etc. I am also an aspiring data analyst.

How To Control Your Anger?

The author reflects on personal struggles with anger and its impact on self-esteem and mental health. They share experiences of losing control, including violent outbursts, and highlight the importance of managing anger through internal and external strategies. Seeking therapy is emphasized as a valuable resource for better emotional health.

I get angry sometimes. And this affects my self-esteem and peace of mind. It causes regret in me. 

My Brief Story

Although I no longer get angry to the extent of becoming violent. But I sometimes struggle to control my anger even today. 

But I have improved my self-control a lot over the years.

I remember one day I got so angry that I tore my own clothes in an attempt to run towards the other person. Luckily the neutral people stopped me.

And if that’s not enough of hell, I take medication for my bipolar affective disorder(BPAD) even today.

I am getting better. But that’s some of my story of my struggles with my anger.

Ways To Control Your Anger

In this blog post I will write about 3 internal ways and 3 external ways to control your anger.

Internal ways-

  1. Realizing that anger has consequences. It affects your self-esteem. And it can lead to violence and even death of someone.
  2. Practice gratitude for the things you already have.
  3. Perform any form of introspection daily like journaling, meditation, realizing that your expectations of the other persons are just going to make you more unhappy because you can’t change others but only yourself, etc.

External ways-

  1. AVOID them- Stay away from/avoid the other persons, events or thoughts that trigger your anger for some time. This is something you can do immediately.
  2. Let your anger go- Try to identify what you feel in the angry moments. Observe your emotions and let it go.
    I read back in 2017 called “The Sedona Method: Your Key to Lasting Happiness, Success, Peace and Emotional Well-Being” by Hale Dwoskin. 
    In that book it taught 5 questions to ask yourself consecutively to release your emotions quickly-
    • What do I feel?(example-”Anger”/”sad”/”peaceful”…)
    • Could I allow myself to welcome this feeling?(example-”yes”)
    • Could I let it go?(example-”yes”)
    • Would I let it go?(example-”yes”)
    • When?(ideally “now” but if you are not ready say “later” and then repeat these questions to yourself until you can say “now” and release these emotions. Repeat these questions as many times as your feel comfortable asking.)
    • You can answer “no” or “later” or whatever you want. Remember these questions are for yourself to ask yourself internally. (I practice them till date and these questions saved me from many difficult situations.)
  3. See a psychotherapist. Maybe you are unable to control your anger because something needs to change in your life. Maybe you are unable to change your life yourself because you have your own biases. So go to a therapist. They might be able to help. 

There’s no shame in going to a therapist because they are like doctors. You go to a doctor when you get a fever in your body. Likewise you go to a psychiatrist, psychologist or a psychotherapist when you have a “fever” or illness in your mind.

Conclusion

As I said earlier in this blog post that “I get angry sometimes. And this affects my self-esteem and peace of mind. It causes regret in me. ”. 

This may not be entirely true for you or other people but regardless of that anger does more damage to your and other people’s lives than you can imagine.

Worst of all it can lead to violence, injury, death, etc. So please be careful because prevention is better than cure. Regret is one of the worst things in life. Forgiveness is the greatest religion.

Please like, share and comment what you think about this blog post.

Pleasure is not bad.

I was listening to this.

And I feel literally enchanted.

I cook sometimes at home and I notice that ingredients like garlic require preparation like peeling off the outer layers, and then grinding it. 

I always wondered why we care about something so unnecessary as garlic and onions when we can always eat food without them.

But my mom reminds me that it improves the taste of the food.

So I wonder why taste is necessary. Living an ascetic life is more aligned with spirituality.

But then I recall the fact that everything in moderation is necessary.

In life we must enjoy it in moderation. Neither be an ascetic person nor an addict.

In the above video Diljit Dosanjh and Ed Sheeran sing together and it sounds magical. I am literally enchanted.

This is what makes life beautiful.

Pleasure is not bad. Pain is not bad.

Both are necessary in moderation.

Balance is key here.

Happiness is the goal of life. 

We demand Justice for Abhaya

I am a common man. And I don’t have political power.

I and other common people all around the world who are raising their voices for Justice for Abhaya are determined.

We want justice for Abhaya. We want justice for RGKar. We demand justice.

I watch the news every day now. I went to a government hospital for health reasons a few days ago. (Government hospitals are open and senior doctors are doing a great job)

And I am not going to bash anyone with my opinions.

I just believe in raising my voice for what’s right. It may be through going out to the streets and protesting or writing on a blog.

I am trying to do both.

We want Justice for Abhaya. We want Justice for RGKar. We demand justice.

We Want Justice!!!

I am not a philosopher. I don’t like arguments or opinions. 

I like common sense and fighting for what’s right. 

I know what’s right. I don’t need to read Descartes or Plato. Not only that, but I don’t need to research books or talk to experts to know if something is right or wrong.

Likewise, I know in my gut what’s the right thing.

We want justice for Abhaya. We want justice for RGKar. We demand justice.

My Journey from Entitlement to Realization

When I was in class 11, I was suffering. Whether it was due to some mental illness, I don’t know. 

I remember I hated school. I couldn’t force myself to get dressed and go to school. 

So I thought something was wrong with me.

I would play video games all day from 6 am to 2am at night. 

And then I would read self-help and spirituality books to find what was wrong with me.

I went to psychologists, and they told me “You don’t have social anxiety”.

Then in class 12, I experienced psychosis. As bizarre as it may be to experience psychosis, it humbled me after spending time in NIMHANS (National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences).

I saw people my age, with more severe mental illnesses. As compared to them, I was much better off.

I was in class 12 and about to complete high school. Many of my roommates at NIMHANS hadn’t completed 7th grade.

After I was diagnosed with BPAD (Bipolar Affective Disorder), the opposite of thinking “I was not normal” happened. I realized slowly that my situation was very normal. 

Most people have similar problems.

I was not special. And I am not entitled to special treatment.

Yes I had BPAD and a little social anxiety. But so do other people. 

Yes I was entitled. And unrealistic. 

Now I am more realistic and humble.

The point of all the above words is to admit to and show you- There are two arrows that we are hit by in life. One arrow is from the external world. This arrow is out of our control.

But there’s a second arrow, our reactions to the first arrow.

For example, I was not able to go to school. My mind stopped me. This is the first arrow.

But to think that something is wrong with me and to read self-help books and playing video games out of frustration is the second arrow. These were reactions to not being able to go to school.

We can’t control the world’s events but we can decide how we are going to react to them.

Thank you for reading this blog post. 

Dropping Engineering To Pursuing MBA: Finding Peace Within

I know that the world is not easy to live in. But it is worth the struggle.

When I had just dropped out of engineering college in 2018, I didn’t know what I wanted. I just got admitted to a philosophy honors degree program at a local college.

But as easy as it was to quit engineering, it was not at all easy to withstand the shock of philosophy being taken away by a technical issue in the college’s admission system after a few months. 

I had quit engineering and started studying philosophy. Everything was going well. But before our first semester exams, the college authorities told me that they couldn’t allow me to sit for my philosophy honors exams because my university’s criteria for philosophy weren’t met. 

Later, they offered me other subjects. I took the offer with English honors. But I didn’t like the subject, and I struggled.

Even after quitting engineering and getting English honors, I was struggling. 

Life always seems to make you struggle until you find peace within yourself.

So I was forced to admit myself in an online bachelor of business degree(BBA), which I completed, and I am currently pursuing an online master of business administration(MBA).

What people know is that I completed my BBA. But they don’t know how I found peace within myself to be able to complete it.

More about that in another blog post. But a quick introduction to that would be when I was pursuing the online BBA, I was also thinking about pursuing a philosophy degree from other universities. But I stopped thinking about those distractions and focused on my present reality.

With this, I would like to thank my mom, dad, sister, and my friends. And I would also like to thank you for reading this blog post.

What did you learn from this blog post?

What’s independence like?

Independence is lonely. This is what I learned from my experience with bipolar disorder.

When I feel like my family members are not giving me enough attention, I get upset. And it’s not like they don’t like me anymore. 

There could be any number of reasons why they don’t give me enough attention, but I feel like it’s because they don’t like me. 

It’s not like that, but I feel it’s like that. 

One day I realized that I was getting upset because of this, and I was thinking about how helpless I was. 

Then it struck me that I have control over my thoughts and that I am giving my family members too much power over my happiness by thinking that they complete me. 

I realized that I was dependent on my family members for my love and happiness needs. 

One fine evening when I had been thinking I was helpless, I decided to not be dependent on my family members or anyone for love and happiness except God.

I said to myself,”I will not be dependent on my mother or father or sister. I will be dependent only on God.”

And I felt powerful. I felt empowered.

I started doing my share of household chores, like washing my own clothes, etc. Slowly, I will start contributing to my family’s well-being even more.

This power gives me independence and freedom.

But this newfound independence also brings loneliness sometimes. Because blaming and doing self-pity is easy. Blaming others and staying dependent on others is easy. But being independent and taking responsibility is hard.

Thank you for reading this post.

What is independence like for you?

3 Qualities That Every Teacher Must Have

Daily writing prompt
What makes a teacher great?
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When I was in school, I learnt from many teachers. But one teacher was my English private tutor who taught me outside school. And I love him as a teacher.

I think of him as an ideal teacher. The reasons are-

  1. Equal treatment to all students
    Justice is an important quality. A part of justice is to treat everyone equally even though everyone isn’t born with equal privileges.
    My English tutor treated everyone in the class equally. He even scolded me for doing anything wrong. And I gladly accepted it and learnt from it because I respected him for his equal treatment.
  2. Simplicity in explaining concepts
    The concepts that he taught were simple to understand. In school, the school teacher taught them in a very confusing manner. But my English tutor made those ideas easy to digest and remember and apply.
    Stress was given on application of the concepts. We did essay writing every week.
    And we spoke in English despite India being a regional language dominated place.
    I still remember and apply most of those concepts in my life.
  3. Good behavior
    He is a good person.
    I think it’s important to understand that a teacher doesn’t just teach through his words but also his behavior,his personality and his character.
    He was soft spoken but he could also raise his voice and protest. He was gentle but could change one’s mind with his words.
    He was a leader in his own right.

I think these qualities make a great teacher.

A great teacher doesn’t have to be charismatic or an extrovert or a highly intelligent person. They simply have to be a good person and a master of their subject.

I remember we used to write essays as homework every week. And I thoroughly enjoyed that process. He taught us so many ways to think about essay writing. And I fell in love with English.

I think English is my strongest subject and I love English. All this is because of my English private tutor. 

3 Ways To Feel More Grateful For A Better Life

Have you ever felt like you ran out of things to be grateful for? Everyday you seem to repeat the same things in your gratitude journal and not feel as grateful. 

That’s why I am writing this blog post where I will share 3 things you can do that will definitely make you feel more grateful. Plus these 3 things will improve your life and make it better.

Before I list the 3 things and explain it, I would like to share a story.

2 months ago, I was feeling very bored and unmotivated. I also wasn’t taking care of my body and was overeating and not following a routine. 

So my family and I went to Gangtok, which is a place in the Sikkim state in India. There we saw snow and went to places high up in the cloudy mountains. 

We saw Nathula pass, Changu lake and Baba mandir. We also went to Darjeeling where we saw Tiger Hill, and many other places of which I forgot their names. We had a lot of fun.


When I came back home, I felt very motivated. And started to take care of myself, my body, my mind and my daily routine.

I saw a video by a girl on YouTube (thewizardliz). And I was inspired. 

I bought a bathing loofah and a back scrubber and a face wash. And I used them daily to keep myself clean. I still do.

I bought a yoga mat and started doing freehand exercises. I still do them.

I started living a self-loving life. And my life, and my mental health improved. Every area of my life from studying, to health, to peace of mind, moods, to anger issues, to motivation, all of them improved.

What I want to convey through this story is that although gratitude is a feeling, gratitude could also be an action or a habit that is oriented towards values like gratitude, honesty, kindness, cleanliness, friendship, positivity, persistence and so on. 

It doesn’t have to be just about writing 3 things in a gratitude journal. It can be more than that. It can be an action or a habit. 

Now I would like to give you the 3 ways or habits or actions that will make you feel more grateful for a better life-

  1. Cleaning Your Room Regularly– We know the saying “Cleanliness is next to Godliness”. Cleaning your room will make you feel more positive, more decluttered and it will also make you feel grateful when you do it with a mindset of gratitude.

    Ask yourself (and I am taking this key idea from Marie Kondo’s book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing”) if the thing that you want to keep or remove while decluttering, will spark joy.

    This is a new idea I got from brainstorming. I myself have done it. It feels very positive and grateful and it is also productive. I also see it as a way of making myself more positive.
  2. Read An Inspirational Biography– I read biographies and I feel we can learn many things from them. Learning from the lives of people whom we assume as superficial can be eye-opening.

    I am currently reading Tim Cook’s biography and I am shocked by how much struggle Tim Cook had to face. Just from his childhood, there is a lot to learn.

    I used to think of Tim Cook as a superficial person who went to good schools and whose family had a lot of money from the start. But that’s not the truth.

    I mean there’s a lot to learn about life from biographies. And it will help you feel more grateful when you do it consistently.

    Even if you read just for 15 minutes everyday, it will be worth it. The key is to approach reading through the lens of curiosity.

    I feel extremely grateful to get to learn about Tim Cook’s life.
  3. Daily Journaling– I write in a journal daily,whether digital or paper journal. I love to write.

    Although it may seem obvious that most people do gratitude journaling. So of course you might be journaling already. But here I am not talking just about gratitude journaling.

    I am talking about consistent journaling about everything from your feelings to your stories to how your day went and so on.

    You will definitely feel grateful once you approach journaling through the lens of self-improvement.

    Re-reading your journal once a week or more frequently is important. It is important for healing and feeling grateful.

There could be more ways but these are some things I do myself and that’s why I shared them.

I see these activities as a commitment to my belief in myself. 

Swami Vivekananda taught me to believe in myself. And he also said,”You cannot believe in God until you believe in yourself”. 


So first you must believe in yourself. All the ways I shared will strengthen your belief in yourself because you are essentially doing self-care and living a routine lifestyle through these habits. 

I also believe that gratitude is a way of seeing the world. It’s not about thinking 10 things to be grateful for. It’s about being grateful even if something bad happens to you. 

Can you be grateful even when you lose a leg or when your girlfriend leaves you? Can you be grateful when you don’t get the result you want? 

It’s easy to feel grateful when you are doing well. But to do the same for the opposite condition should be the ideal goal.

So I share with you three ways to feel more grateful for a better life and I also share with you a new perspective of gratitude. 

Please comment on what you will do to feel more grateful every day?