Anirban Saren

Forgive More: One Of The Most Important Skills

The author has been bad at forgiving most of his life. But he realizes that he should forgive more through therapy and life experiences.

I’m not really a pro if I have to forgive someone. I hold grudges for a long time.

But I know that forgiveness is important.

When I was in class 6 or 7, a classmate called me names and later also he said bad things about my mother.

I never forgave him.

He asked for forgiveness but in spite of that I didn’t forgive him.

But today when I reflect I realize that he deserves forgiveness.

Mistakes are made by everyone, and they deserve forgiveness if they realize their mistakes.

And even now I hold grudges towards some people. But I need to forgive them.

I need to give them a second chance.

And as I go to therapy sessions I realize my weakness of being bad at forgiveness and that I need to forgive more.

So yeah I’m working on my forgiveness skills.

Thank you for reading this line. It means a lot.

Anger: How To Be Free From It

Anger is one of the most destructive emotions. The author writes about his experiences with anger and shares spiritual texts to explain it.

I think anger is one of the most destructive emotions.

Story Time: My Experiences With Anger

When I was in my teenage years, I used to get very angry at my family members.

The reason I was angry was because I blamed them for everything.

And although now I realize that I was wrong, in those days I was blinded by my immaturity.

I had so many expectations from my parents that if they didn’t support me, I’d get angry.

I also expected a lot from myself.

When I was in class 11, I was in the science stream and I hated science. Physics, Chemistry, and Math didn’t get inside my head.

I really didn’t understand them partly because I had too many expectations from my teachers as well.

I remember I used to obsess over “Why can’t I study?” because I couldn’t sit down to study.

In those days there was no ChatGPT to counsel me for free.

I was seeing a therapist, but I had high expectations from them as well, and I changed my therapist multiple times.

What The Bhagavad Gita Has To Say

In the Bhagavad Gita it is very nicely written-

Chapter 2 verse 62-

“Thinking of objects, attachment to them is formed in a man. From attachment longing, and from longing anger grows.”

Chapter 2 verse 63-

“From anger comes delusion, and from delusion loss of memory. From loss of memory comes the ruin of discrimination, and from the ruin of discrimination he perishes.”

So I have experienced this first hand to some extent and I believe anyone who feels anger also experiences these conditions first hand.

So I really believe anger is one of the most destructive emotions of all.

Techniques to deal with anger

And throughout these years through psychological counselling I have learnt a few techniques like-

Box breathing technique
5-4-3-2-1 technique
JPMR technique
The Socratic Method of Inquiry
Journaling

And I think these techniques do help in reducing my anger.

Conclusion

But the root cause of anger should also be fixed by journaling in a diary daily and going for psychological counselling.

It’s the thought process that needs to be examined for us to release us from the shackles of anger.

So yeah anger is one of the most destructive emotions and there are ways to be free from it.

Thank you for reading this line! It means a lot.

Love And Accept Yourself: Don’t Seek Approval From Others

The author writes about his experience if seeking approval from others in the past and realizing the futility in doing it.

Loving Who You Are: No Approval Seeking

Loving who you are is probably one of the most ignored actions of human beings. We want approval from others.

Everybody has insecurities, but we don’t accept them easily.

Instead, we engage in negative self-talk and scold ourselves for being insecure.

We want approval from others but even if they approve of us, we still feel empty.

In my short life, I have been wanting approval and I have realized that if I run after approval and care about what other people think of me, I’ll never truly be happy.

My Story: Birla High School

When I was in class 10, I studied hard to score 84.6%, and then in class 11 I got admitted into Birla High School(BHS), which is one of the most elite high schools in Kolkata and even India as a whole.

Part of the reason I got into BHS was to make my parents proud.

But I wasn’t proud of myself.

I got my parents’ temporary approval by getting into BHS, but I didn’t approve of myself.

I still disliked being lonely and I hated myself.

Furthermore, I hated my personality, my lack of confidence, my inability to make friends, my weakness of not being a leader and I didn’t like my stream of subject – science.

Not only that, but I even read multiple self-help books like “Psycho-Cybernetics” by Maxwell Maltz to “fix” myself. But nothing worked.

Because there was nothing to “fix”.

I needed to accept myself.

I needed to tell myself that I loved myself and that I was sorry for hating myself.

And then I needed to change my self-talk.

But I didn’t do any of these actions because I didn’t know how to do them.

I was lost back then.

Conclusion

Today, however, I have started to realize that no matter how much approval I seek, I’ll still feel empty inside.

First I need to accept myself fully.

I need to love myself.

I have an app on my phone called “Finch” and it is a to-do list app for neurodivergent people.

Likewise, I have a to-do item on it that says “Pause and say ‘thank you’ to myself”.

And I find it very soothing to thank myself every day.

So yeah, loving who you are is an underrated skill that everyone should learn.

Thank you for reading this line! It means a lot.

Returning Home

The author writes about his return journey from Kolkata to Bangalore after he went to Kolkata a week ago.

Me, my mother and father arrived in Bangalore yesterday, and the weather is fine here. Much cooler than Kolkata’s weather. The journey is… read more.

I’ve started a new self-hosted blog at anirbansaren.com. The full article is available on anirbansaren.com. Please visit that blog.

Home Is Where The Heart Is: A Journey Back Home

Me, my mother and father arrived in Bangalore yesterday, and the weather is fine here. Much cooler than Kolkata’s weather. The journey is cozy.

There was a lot of traffic congestion on our way from Howrah to the Dum Dum Airport.

But we reached just in time.

Overall I think my visit to Howrah from Bangalore was successful.

I went to give puja at the Dakshineshwar Kali Temple. And I voted.

I also met many of my relatives and cousins.

And I’m grateful to God for these experiences.

Thank you for reading this line! It means a lot.

My Old Blog Posts

To access my old blog posts, please visit- this website.

Do This To Wake Up In The Morning

The author writes about what he does when he wakes up in the morning to stay awake.

When I wake up in the morning I try to write one blog post. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes it’s difficult.

But it wakes my mind up.

Therefore, I don’t need coffee or tea to wake up, I just need to write a blog post.

Also when I write, my mind becomes very active.

And maybe because of this activity, I wake up with ease.

I’m not saying that it’s easy for me to wake up. All I’m saying is that it’s more desirable to wake up since I have to write a blog post to write when I wake up.

And I love writing.

Thanks for reading this line! It means a lot.

The Secret To Getting Respect From Others

The author writes about his experiences and realizations about self-respect and getting respect from others.

I have a friend who is very transparent and pure hearted.

He has a lot of self-respect.

So he shares me reels on Instagram about self-respect.

And his point of view is that if a girl doesn’t respect you, you shouldn’t chase her.

Other than love advice, I also learnt many other things from his reels.

But self-respect is a key idea that changed my life.

Before I was admitted to NIMHANS(National Institute of Mental Health and Neurosciences, Bangalore) in 2025, I used to call everyone “Sir”,”Maam”,”Dada”(elder brother),”Didi”(elder sister).

I didn’t realize that I was unnecessarily putting others on a pedestal.

I was giving people more respect than they deserved.

And I was also making myself uncomfortable and feeling disrespected by them.

So I stopped using those titles like sir, madam, dada, didi, unnecessarily.

I use them only when the person is an elderly person who is somehow related to my circle of friends and family.

Moreover, I have learnt to respect myself more. I am kinder to myself.

And I noticed that people started taking me more seriously, and I got more respect from people.

I also used to unconsciously smile a lot to get people’s approval. But recently I decided to become more comfortable in my own skin and to love myself more and to smile less.

So I don’t smile unnecessarily with everyone.

But I think I have grown a lot. I don’t think that shallow tricks like not smiling or not saying titles make any difference.

The real difference is the medicines and the psychotherapy from NIMHANS.

My doctors have worked very hard to help me. And I am grateful to them.

So yeah I think if you want to get respect from others, you need to respect yourself first.

Thank you for reading this line. It means a lot!

I came home after a long time

The author writes about his arrival at Howrah, his hometown, and how he plans to stay there for a few days before returning to Bangalore.

Yesterday I came home to Howrah from Bangalore after a long time via flight.

And I feel bliss after eating the homemade food that my mother and father cook at home.

I think it’s important to visit home and balance work and family.

I don’t have the work part figured out just yet but I’m on my way to secure job interviews.

But I’ve figured out my family part.

My parents and my siblings are there. And they mean a lot to me.

There isn’t much story here. But I was a bit anxious throughout the journey and I was observing the people around me.

I had my fruit juice(Maiza) bottle with me which I was occasionally sipping throughout my journey.

I’ll be staying in Howrah for the next 7 days. And I have plans other than voting.

I didn’t just come here to vote. But I came to accomplish some important tasks which I’ll write about in the future(So stay tuned).

To see my parents’ faces when I came home gave me immense joy.

And I drank a glass of lassi after I entered home.

And I have to tell you I had the best sleep last night in a long time.

So yeah I came home and I’ll return soon after a few days.

Thanks for reading this line! It means a lot.

What Does Healing Look Like

The author writes about how healing is not a straight line but a set of ups and downs in the journey of healing.

Healing is not linear. It doesn’t represent a straight line in a graph.

But it does look like ups and downs.

When I was admitted to NIMHANS in 2025, I experienced this.

Every few weeks I met new people and I had to go through different sets of ups and downs.

I met people who are hyper-active and also people who were depressed.

I met people who were delusional and people who had OCD, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and all sorts of other mental health disorders.

Of course they weren’t to be blamed for these, it’s their psychiatric disorders that require healing.

I went to yoga classes in NIMHANS and I learnt yoga and it had an important role in my healing.

It gave me a structure to my days and I enjoyed it as well.

But even with yoga, I sometimes stopped going and sometimes I prioritized it.

It had its set of ups and downs.

Mostly when we think that when we are in the down phase of healing, we are moving backwards in our journey of healing. But that’s not true.

Even when we’re feeling down, it’s a part of the growth process and the journey of healing.

So yeah the journey of healing has lots of ups and downs and my stay at NIMHANS last year accelerated it.

And when we look back after many months and years we see that we have grown so much.

Thanks for reading this line! It means a lot.