How To Change Your Life?

Recently I went to Gangtok to enjoy the tourist sites there with the family. And I felt very motivated and refreshed from my experiences in Gangtok.

I met many people, watched amazing sceneries, and experienced many things.

When I returned home to Howrah, I started exercising every day and eating healthy. And my life changed.

Literally. I no longer felt negative emotions or socially anxious.

But since my exams began. I have been avoiding exercising and eating healthy.

So, I am trying to weave in those healthy habits in my life again.

But the point I am trying to make here is the importance of healthy habits and travelling.

I have decided that I will travel more, and I will exercise every day.

That’s what I wanted to share with you in this video.

By the way if you don’t know me, I am Anirban a 23-year-old man from India, and this is my personal blog where I share my thoughts on my mental health, spirituality, and racism.

Thank you for reading this 176-word blog post. I know it should be 300 words for google to rank me but who cares.

Let me know-

What are some things that help you change your life?

The Secret Which Can Reduce Your Stress Consistently

Don’t know how to deal with stress? Which activities to do to deal with stress in a healthy way? 

Read this blog post to know the secret to reducing stress in a healthy way.

Lately I have been doing meaningful, useless things to reduce stress. 

I have been regularly writing something unrelated to what I consider useful. And it’s helping me reduce my stress.

I feel more relaxed and able to focus on useful things more. I am able to overcome my procrastination more easily. Not only that, but I am also able to feel more connected to my passion for spirituality and philosophy. 

How exactly do I do it? 

Well, I started writing poems. Mystical poems, to be more specific. I have written one on this blog site. You can check it out here.

I think the key for me is to do useful things when you are bored with doing useless things. And to do useless things when you are stressed with doing useful things. 

And usually useless things don’t take much time. And if they do, it’s easier to break them in parts to do later because they are not “useful”.

I am currently experimenting more with it and I think there are only a few meaningful, useless things for everyone.

You can also look at it through the lens of doing what you are passionate about. But I like to call it useless. 

After all, when a passion becomes a chore, it can feel stressful and procrastination can occur in spite of you having passion for it.

I think everyone has multiple passions, and so the “useful” passion which one does as a career choice can be complemented with more “useless” passions which are not your career choice.

The point I am trying to make here is that this works for me, and it is something I wanted to share with you.

Also, do check out the poem I wrote on mysticism here.

Thank you for reading this blog post, and please share this post and comment-

How do you deal with your stress?

Read This to Feel Less Afraid of the Future

Do you feel afraid of the future and start worrying? In this blog post, I will share my perspective on feeling less afraid of the future.

I think it is totally okay to be afraid of the future. And it is not at all wrong if we worry about the future. In fact, a little fear and pain will motivate you. 

But when worrying becomes pointless and being afraid doesn’t help motivate you, what do you do?

I think it is in those moments of fear that we need to be courageous. We need to find the courage to say, “F*ck it! I am not going to be afraid anymore and second guess myself. I will take action.”

Recently, a person asked a question on Reddit about what career he should pursue. He said that he was having a hard time deciding. 

I wrote-

“I was feeling the same way 6months ago. I didn’t know what career should I commit to. I was confused what my purpose in life was. I also didn’t want to be in the corporate companies. I wanted to do what I felt passionate about. So I did a self-analysis. I asked myself about what successes I had in the past years. And I saw that I have some success in creating blogs and YouTube videos. I didn’t get many views or subscribers but I had posted 70 videos which most of them were low quality and I was nervous or fumbling or stammering and I had made most of them private but I had shot and uploaded 70 videos. The problem was I wasn’t getting many views. So I researched about how to grow on YouTube. And I learnt that I needed an income stream to keep myself mentally healthy and have a social life and pay expenses and make YouTube videos on the side. So I am working on my copywriting portfolio after taking a copywriting course because writing is also one of my passions.

I think it’s important to think about life like an archaeologist and not an architect. Life is about discovery and not about walking on a planned path.

I hope to make YouTube videos and generate income but I am going to do copywriting to pay my bills and build a network and friends and a social life and buy a good camera.

I remember someone told me – my main problem is not lack of knowledge of my career or purpose but lack of experience. Inaction is my greatest enemy.

So don’t worry! Just start doing what you think you love and have passionate for but also keep in mind the practical aspects of paying the bills and your long term goals. 😄”

Anirban Saren on Reddit

I think I still stand by this belief that life is about being an archaeologist (adopted by Ali Abdaal’s videos on YouTube). And it’s about self-discovery.

And it isn’t about trying to find and connect the dots backwards, it’s about believing in something strongly and following one’s heart, and trust that the dots will connect automatically.

I am working on my degree, my copywriting portfolio and moving forward slowly. 

Sometimes I worry about the future and I get anxious. But I have learned to face the fears by saying, “F*ck it!”.

I think life is not about reaching a goal, it’s about growing yourself constantly through experiences.

Conclusion

So this is my perspective-

Life is about self-discovery. Look into the future and ask yourself,”How do I want my life to be?” and take action. The dots will connect automatically when we focus on self-discovery instead of controlling the present and the future. And if the fear of the future still persists, say “F*ck it! Let’s do it.” Because life is about growing yourself constantly through experience.

Thank you for reading my blog post. Please comment- What is your perspective on feeling less afraid of the future?

My Story of Fighting Suicidal Ideations

My goal in this blog post is to make you believe that there is hope out of suicidal ideations, depression or any other mental illnesses in your life.

I remember it started 2 years ago. Before that, I had been suffering from bipolar disorder since 2015 and I had serious social anxiety. 

In 2018 I somehow passed class 12 with below-average marks and I dropped from 2 colleges in the span of 2 years. And in 2021 I was studying at an online college. 

Between 2017 to 2018 I had 3 psychotic episodes and although I didn’t share this in my previous blog post, in 2017, I attempted suicide and I had to go to Bangalore for treatment. I also started taking prescription medication for bipolar disorder since then. 

All this kind of made me doubt myself and I felt lost and confused. I remember I would say to my mom about my confusion and my suicidal ideations.

Although I didn’t take action on those thoughts, I remember days when I would play sad songs and stay up till 3 am. 

I remember in those moments the only hope for me was my mom. She gave me strength and hope. She made me who I am.

 I remember I started doing certain things-

  1. I started believing in the existence of hope(goodness, truth, real beauty, God)
  2. I took psychotherapy more seriously and took regular medications
  3. I started with small habits 
  4. I started to read books on mental health

I also went to an astrologer, which I have faith that it helped. I also did reiki healing on myself earlier which also helped me. 

What kept me going? What is hope to me?

Hope kept me going.

Hope is when I feel anxious to do something and I am unable to overcome the fear but something happens- a change of mind, a possibility in my mind opens because of someone or something inside or outside me and I am able to overcome the anxiety.


Hope is goodness, truth, real beauty, inspiration, a forgotten dream resurfacing, God, etc. 

It isn’t something we can control, but we can surrender to it and let it wash over us. 

And what I want to convey to you through this blog post is that hope exists. 


Live life for yourself, your dreams, your ambitions, your future contributions to others, helping others etc. 

I was listening to a podcast called “hope is real” by Jazz Thornton with Kevin Hines. Kevin Hines is someone who survived a suicide attempt by jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge. And he told his story of how a sea lion kept him floating on the water’s surface when he jumped.

What I learnt from the episode was “Asking for help makes you wise” not a failure. Maybe the words are slightly different but it’s what I remember is said by Jazz Thornton. 

Ask for help, see a therapist, take medication, do what you are passionate about, etc. Don’t give up. 

Every day I am fighting and I still get these ideations sometimes but I can handle them with the help of my therapist and doctors.

Believe that there’s hope for you. You matter. Your existence matters. 

You can overcome suicidal ideations.

Thank you for reading this crucial blog post. If you liked it then please share it on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter and other social media platforms. Also, comment on what you think of this blog post.

Disclaimer- I am not a psychologist or a doctor. This blog post is purely from my personal experience. I don’t provide medical advice. If you have mental health issues then please seek the help of a medical professional.

How I Deal With My Negative Self-Talk

Do you feel frustrated with your negative self-talk? Then read this blog post to know how I deal with it.

I used to frequently demean myself for doing stupid things. And although it’s considered normal and almost everybody does it, I think it’s important to reduce these self-demeaning thoughts.

It’s OK to sometimes think that you are weird or stupid. But sometimes these thoughts feel overwhelming and too much to handle.

In those situations, we need to calm our minds and relax a bit. And seek to become more self-aware.


A few weeks ago, I was reading a book called “How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety” by Ellen Hendriksen (Affiliate link: I get a commission if you purchase the book through this link) and I read a part where the author makes the readers ask three easy questions.

These three questions from the book helped me deal with negative self-talk and reduce my anxiety-

  1. What’s the worst that can happen?
  2. What are the odds of that happening?
  3. How would you cope?

And I noticed that whenever I get anxious or do any negative self-talk, I ask myself these questions and I can become aware of why I felt negative or got a strong urge to call myself “stupid” or “loser”.

When I do this, I can reduce my negative feelings to something manageable.

For example, if I feel like a loser because I lied to someone about something unimportant because it would be very embarrassing to accept that I had lied. So I say to myself in negative self-talk,” You are just a loser”. 

If I immediately counter that by saying,” No, I am not a loser, I am a winner.”, I continue feeling bad for some reason. 

But if I ask myself the above three questions one by one, this is what happens-

Me – “What’s the worst that could happen in this situation?”

My answer- “Oh well, the person would call me a ‘liar’ out loudly and kick me out of the institute forever and people would know I am a ‘liar’.”

Me- “What are the odds of that happening?”

My answer- “Well, the person may ask why I lied. And I would say I was nervous. And he would probably trust me less.”

Me- “How would I cope?”

My answer- “I would probably listen to some sad songs and write a sad poem to myself and read spiritual stories and forgive myself through writing in my journal. It’s just one time I lied a silly lie, to one person. No big deal. I won’t repeat it and now past is past.”

This process makes me feel so much better. And I don’t feel like I am fighting an uphill battle against my mind.

This process also reduces my anxiety a lot and I feel like I can reduce these big and scary thoughts to something more manageable with just the second question,” What are the odds of that happening?”

And I also noticed that I can overcome more of my social anxiety with these questions in real life. I went to 3 big social events this month and I think those are big wins for me. I believe that’s because of the above book.

For all this, I want to thank Ellen Hendriksen, the author of the above-mentioned book “How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety”. 

I haven’t finished listening to the whole audiobook on audible.in but I will do it soon. 

You can also use these questions to deal with your inner critic and negative self-talk and reduce your anxiety one question at a time.

Although I didn’t overcome my anxieties this month overnight. It took time. 

Also, the book’s original questions are phrased like this-

  1. How bad would that really be?
  2. What are the odds?
  3. How could I cope?

Also in the book originally the questions are only one part of the whole process. So don’t completely depend on me or think that this is the complete process. Please get the book and read it.

Thank you for reading this blog post. Do read the book and please comment on what you think about this blog post.

Disclaimer- I am not a psychologist or a doctor. If you have a mental illness, please seek the help of a professional. The advice in this blog post is just from my personal experience. For the full scientific process, read the mentioned book.

If you feel toxic masculinity is a problem, then read this.

When I used to return home from school, I had to walk 10 minutes from my school to catch the bus(main)  which took me to my home bus stop. 

But there was another bus stand near my school where I got other buses to take me to the next bus stop where I could get my (main) bus. 

So I used to take a bus ride to the next bus stop where I could catch my (main) bus because I used to feel too tired for the 10-minute walk.

One day I got on the first bus and two of my male classmates were on that bus. 

And they asked me something like where I was going. I said that I was only taking the bus to go to the next stop where I would catch the (main) bus. 

As I said this they cracked a joke. I don’t remember the exact joke. But I remember that the joke was on me. They meant to say I was “half-man” for not walking 10 minutes and taking the first bus.

This was one of my many experiences with toxic masculinity. 

There are other experiences like always having expectations to be emotionless among male friends, talking about sports too much or simply disrespecting girls by considering them to be less human or worse. 

And I hate this. 

I hate this because this is a violation of our deepest ethics. 

Do you have a sister? Do you or did you have a mother? How would you feel or what would you do if someone disrespected or did worse to them?

But just to be clear about my above experience of the bus, I think these standards of masculinity are very toxic. 

“If you cry, you are not a man”

“If you take a bus to avoid pain, you are not  a man.”

“If you watch romance movies, you are not a man.”

“If you follow your wife’s advice, you are not a man.”

I am not saying that there’s something wrong with being gay. But the word “half-man” in the above experience meant more than just LGBTQ. It meant not walking for 10 minutes and having less stamina, less alpha, less muscular, less testosterone, less extroverted, less confident, less aggressive, less stoic, less power, less control, less military, and less manly.

How can not walking for 10 minutes make you look “half-man”? The truth is I am emotional, I am not very muscular or extroverted or aggressive or stoic or controlling or military. But does that mean I am less manly?

“We now understand that femininity and masculinity are not innate but are based upon social and cultural conditions. Anthropologist Margaret Mead addressed the issue of differences in temperament of males and females in Sex and Temperament in Three Primitive Societies (1935). This early study concluded that there are no necessary differences in traits or temperaments between the sexes. Observed differences in temperament between men and women are not a function of their biological differences. Rather, they result from differences in socialization and the cultural expectations held for each sex.”

https://www.encyclopedia.com/social-sciences/encyclopedias-almanacs-transcripts-and-maps/femininitymasculinity

Even if the above quote said that the differences between men and women “are” due to biological differences, I would still advocate against toxic masculinity. Because toxic masculinity is unethical. 

I believe that I am not less of a man. I can love reading, cooking, skincare, spirituality, romance movies and books, Sims 4 and so on and still be a man. 

I can love those things and still fall in love with a woman, start a family, take the kids to karate class, ride a bike, drive a car, be happy, make a million dollars, start a startup, go to Martin Garrix’s shows, get tattoos, etc. because it’s time start making the meanings of words like “man” and “woman” a little loose.

I am listening to “Don’t Look Down” by Martin Garrix and Usher. And I think this is perfect for ending this blog post because this song means freedom and community to me. 

And freedom from toxic masculinity and a community where women and feminine energy are not looked down upon and disrespected is what is needed now. 

Let’s make freedom and a community that is free of toxic masculinity a reality.

The Story of My Favourite Singer 

This is the story of my favourite singer Christina Grimmie. 

Christina Grimmie was a singer, YouTuber and many things. She was also a contestant and top 3 finalists of The Voice Season 6. 

She was also a strong believer in Jesus Christ. Her strong faith was commendable. 

And she was my role model. I looked up to her and wanted to grow up watching her succeed. 

But on 10th June 2016, she was murdered and died from gunshot wounds. 

Story of Christina Grimmie

I found her youtube channel on 5th June 2016(approx. date) and I watched her “Must Be Love” music video and I fell in love with her. Next, I watched all her videos and became a fan.

But on 11th June I was scrolling through her best friend Sarah’s Instagram profile and I saw someone’s comment about someone being shot. 

At first, I was confused. So I googled Christina Grimmie and click the news tab. And I saw the news that Christina Grimmie was shot by a gun.

I was devastated. The next few days I followed all the updates and one day I broke down and started sobbing. I cried and I asked my mom why God did this to her. She was such a good person. How could God do this?

We(me and my family) decided that we would go to church and do something to pray for Christina Grimmie’s soul’s peace. 

So on 19th June 2016, we lit a candle at church after asking permission from the Father and we stayed for the evening prayer that day and something happened. Since then I started believing in God for the first time. 

I listen to Christina’s songs sometimes and I also share them on my social media profiles. I also try to attend the yearly concerts that are conducted by the Christina Grimmie foundation(NGO for supporting gun violence victims) every June 10. 

Conclusion

I know this was personal and not related to mental health or consciousness or anti-casteism, but this could help you find peace of mind. 

Death is not real. When I remember Christina I remember her as a beautiful soul who is with God. We are immortal. We are souls on a journey of self-discovery. So we are never going to die. We are eternal.

This is because death that kills something forever is a concept that doesn’t make sense. How can I, who is the eternal soul, die? God is there!

Thank you for reading this blog post. Please check out her YouTube channel and comment- 

In your life, what made you feel like God is there?

How to deal with anxiety?

In this blog post, I will share some 8 tips on how to deal with anxiety. 

As you might be knowing, I have anxiety and I have learnt to reduce it and live my life with it.

I had social anxiety since I was a teenager and it was both a boon and a bane. I learnt a lot from facing my anxiety.

Other than the advice that my psychiatrist and psychologist gave me, there are my own insights.

I will write a blog post on my psychogists’ advice another day but today I want to share how to deal with anxiety.

Here they are-

  1. Do what you are passionate about

When we do what we are passionate about we become more relaxed and happier. This leads to confidence and peace of mind and calm. It helps us deal with anxiety better.

Living with purpose helps us become more confident and gives us the motivation to overcome anxiety. 

  1.  Take extra responsibility and initiative

This is what increases our mental strength and makes us more resilient. If we take more responsibility we will be more active and busy. We’ll also get the confidence to face our anxiety and fears. 

  1. Dance like nobody’s watching(live a moral life and not care what people think of us)

If we want to live a full life, we have to not care about what people think about us. We need to dance like nobody’s watching. 

But in reality, people do watch when we dance in public. And so we need to become good human beings. We need to be selfless and caring, in a non-people-pleasing way.

  1. Sitting down and calmly observing your feelings

I do this almost every time I get anxious. I don’t rush things. I take 5mins of silence and just observe my feelings. This gives me space and the clarity of mind to make a good decision.

  1. Listen to inspiring songs

This is a surefire way to convert anxiety into inspiration. It almost always works. I like to listen to Shakira and Sia and some EDM songs.

  1. Tell yourself “LIFE IS HARD” 

You won’t believe me but it works like a charm. This is one of my truths and most people’s truths. 

“Life is hard and not facing anxiety is not helping you. You will be stuck and fall behind and waste valuable time if you don’t face your anxiety. No one cares to expect your family whether you have anxiety or not. Other people only see that you are a success or a failure. So get up and fight.”

I say something similar to myself.

  1. You don’t have to give a 100% effort

You just need to get up and fight. Winning or losing isn’t in your hands but trying is. So try. You just have to get started.

  1. If you can’t overcome anxiety for some reason, then don’t blame yourself, accept yourself

Acceptance is powerful. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Not everyone is built the same way. You feel anxious to do public speaking but maybe you can edit videos pretty well. Work on your strengths and deal with your weaknesses. And forgive yourself for not being perfect.

Thank you for reading this blog post. Please comment- 

Which tip will you use this week for dealing with anxiety?

Disclaimer: This is not medical advice. I am not a psychologist or a psychiatrist. If you want medical advice, please contact a psychologist or a psychiatrist.

Trying: The Secret Of The Universe

What is the secret of the universe that moves mountains, that accomplishes the impossible, that gives power to the good people, that makes truth win, that echoes through eternity the truth that cannot be denied?

I say it is in trying. Tenacity, trying, persistence, sticking with it.

This is the secret of the universe. It is in trying that we find success, even if we fail.

There are no shortcuts and even if there is, unless you try the eleventh time after failing 10 times, you will not succeed.

A few days ago I was very anxious of going outside my house. And I was laying in bed thinking why was I not able to study or do something consistently. And I laying in bed and saying to myself,”I am unable to go.”

But something happened. My mother asked me to get up and get ready to go. Even though I repeated my mantra “I am unable to go.” , my mother force me to get up by playing some music on the TV.

Now it is a smart TV and the controls are advanced. But my mother tried again and again to figure it out and what I saw in that moment was a mother’s unending love and tenacity for her child. She eventually figured it out and played some Santhali songs.

And I got up and we went outside as planned.

What I want to say through this anecdote is that love moves mountains. Tenacity, trying, persistence are the qualities in a person who can move mountains.

By moving mountains, I mean doing what seems impossible. It is truly inspiring.

This is why trying matters. Trying matters because it is an act of faith. You don’t know whether you will succeed or not. But you are giving your best to it despite all possibilities of failure.

Thank you for reading this blog post. I am grateful for you reading this post. Please answer this question in the comments section- On a scale of 1 to 10 how much do you agree that “trying” is the secret of the universe?

What Is Hope To Me? (Warning: Sensitive Mental Health Story)

Hope to me is an angelic force that knows when I need answers most, when I need to learn a lesson, when I need to suffer, when I need to realise the truth about a situation and when the right time comes I need to surrender.

Story

I remember after my major psychotic episode in 2017, I was taken to the hospital. And I was so scared. I thought strange thoughts and was so scared.

When the doctor came, he asked something which I don’t remember. But I said, “I love you”.

The doctor smiled and said something like “You love me?”

Then I forgot what happened. My parents visited me and I was relieved.

Later the hospital referred me to NIMHANS, Bangalore.

I had no hope except my belief that there’s something higher in existence that is most true and divine.

So I said,” I love you” to the doctor. Not because he was beautiful or something else. But because I was scared. I was so scared of myself, so scared of my thoughts and I had no confidence in myself during my psychotic episode. I had to believe in that invisible higher truth/force which most probably is the expression of the words ”I love you”.

Love is, in my opinion, one of the closest expressions of truth.

Maybe I said it because I was scared. But that’s what I felt would keep me sane.

And I was referred to NIMHANS, where they treated me further and I made many new friends.

Slowly things got better.

And things are much better now. I haven’t had to go through psychosis since 2017 and I am well on my way to graduating college and finding work.

Conclusion

I think things are never bad indefinitely. Life gets better. There’s hope. And there’s family, friends, work, truth, etc.

As the famous proverb says- This Too Shall Pass. I too say “This Too Shall Pass”.

Thank you for reading this blog post on what is hope to me. Please comment, what is hope to you in a few words?